Love Island is one of those shows that I didn’t want to like but then became unhealthily obsessed with. Like you know that episode of Euphoria where Rue is in bed just binge-watching The Island? That kind of thing, playing at all hours of the day.

Say, my roommates and I want to share a message on our phones, we shout “I’ve got a text” in our best British accents - Love Island-style. And when we go home, we refer to our apartment as the “villa,” also in our posh British accents. I’m sharing this to emphasize how truly immersed I am in the Love Island culture - otherwise, this is just me embarrassing myself.

What sucked me into the world of Love Island was how completely unhinged season one is. Like they weren’t sure if people were going to watch it - so they let the contestants get super drunk and do absolutely anything. It’s intoxicating – and rivals the itch that only Jersey Shore can scratch?

The whole point of the show is to be the last couple standing and win cash prizes. Oh-sorry. I mean, the point is to be the last couple standing and ride off into the sunset, madly in love. Kind of a wild concept if you ask me.

Arguably, the most attractive part about Love Island is their bespoke water bottles with contestants’ names on them. Slap a name on there, and voilà! that water looks delectable. If you know, you know. People literally sell these water bottles on Etsy because everyone wants one - my roommate, Meghan, has it. (If you’re reading this, hi Meggy!)

Recently, the Islanders have returned to the villa to an interesting set of contestants - ostriches. Yes, you read that right, a herd of ostriches has set up camp right on the villa grounds which has caused producers to panic. These long-legged birds can reach a frightening speed of 45 mph and quite literally give the contestants a run for their money.

As weeks go by, the heat drives the islanders virtually insane, which makes for preposterous telly. The contestants are forced into the hot sun with nothing but frozen cocktails to drink - poor things. All this makes everyone just a smidge crazier. I’m convinced the producers did this on purpose just to see what drama would happen.

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