Experts on lucid dreaming suggest that one of the best ways to take control of your dreams is by getting into the habit of asking "am I dreaming" in your everyday life.

But sometimes the strangeness of real life events can make it really difficult to tell. And if the details of "reality" that seem absurd or inexplicable are actually evidence that you're dreaming all this, then what kind of dream are you having? What message should you take from it when you eventually wake up?

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Photo by David Balev-Unsplash

Everything in life is funny.

Remember that the next time you feel creeping alarm about climate change, impeachment proceedings, or Brexit. As George Carlin once said, "There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it." But in the age of Twitter and op-eds about bad dates with comedians, it's hard to keep track of what's funny and what's cringey. In the last decade, we've been treated to all variations. From critics lamenting that Hannah Gadsby's emotional comedy isn't "real" stand-up to Dave Chappelle returning to say exactly what's on his mind regardless of the political climate, our cultural understanding of what constitutes comedy is currently in flux.

Is Mike Birbiglia's vulnerability funny? Is Bo Burnham's peppy musical satire funny? We're saying yes. Why? On the enduring power of comedy, American humorist Mark Twain once said, "Humor must not professedly teach, and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever"–which is lovely, but Richard Pryor frankly put it better when he said, "Two things people throughout history have had in common are hatred and humor. I am proud that I have been able to use humor to lesson people's hatred."

That is to say: Some comedic talents have shone undeniable light upon our existential dread, and for that we're thankful.

Hannah Gadsby, "Nanette"

Humor

Tig Notaro's New Netflix Special Is AWESOME (& Jennifer Aniston Agrees)

Tig's Ability to Portray and Parlay Hateful and Discriminatory Stances as Ironic Makes her Humor Subversive.

I'll get to Jennifer later, that was just an attention grabber...

Whether you have been a fan of Tig for years, or just fell in love with her show One Mississippi, her recent Netflix Special Happy To Be Here is lovely/hysterical/spot on/enjoyable/worth watching and many more positive adverbs. Tig is most famous for her comedy surrounding extreme life events that she survived like cancer, a double mastectomy, death of her mother, and almost dying from c-diff. That's not what this special is about.

Tig proves she is not only able to make great comedy out of life's misery she is able to make jokes and find humor in the non-dramatics of life - the diapers, the dumb questions your loving spouse asks you, and how people react to your parenting choices. She paints us a picture of a calmer, happier, more stable and healthy phase of life and yet, you will be slapping your knee, mouth open, no sound coming, until your laugh finds its way out.

How great is it that Tig normalizes gay-ness (whatever that is), femaleness, breast-less-ness, etc.? A boyish lesbian with a double mastectomy can still make jokes about day-to-day life. Tig doesn't relegate her humor to lesbian jokes, cancer jokes, etc. Tig has a wife, her wife asks her wicked dumb questions (like "What do you think they are serving for breakfast on the flight this morning?" and "Do you think you should meow at our cat? You don't know what you could be saying to her."). I won't spoil much more of her special but as I said, don't expect just gay jokes, women jokes, cancer stuff. This special is for everyone.

Tig is one of those people who makes everything funny. Her delivery is suuuuper dry. She is comfortable thinking through something on stage, and she doesn't tell "jokes." Tig tells stories, and offers us her unique, hysterical perspective. While I said this special is not relegated to cancer, gay, and death jokes, of course those elements are included, as is marriage, motherhood, and being famous. Tig is able to offer a vantage point on all of these topics from both a marginalized and empowered perspective. Tig is clearly comfortable with so many aspects of herself that so many people in this world are still so uncomfortable with. Tig is able to name this discomfort that others have with her, without blaming them.

What a gift Tig offers us, being able to be comfortable with other people's discomfort. In a world where the news and politicians are polarized, people have to choose sides, choose one community over the other, claim one identify over another, just by being herself, Tig is often able to stand smack in the middle of the fray. She doesn't feed off controversy, but certainly relishes irony. Her ability to portray and parlay hateful and discriminatory stances as ironic is what makes her humor so subversive. When Tig is onstage, it's as if she is leading her own peaceful protest that we all get to watch.

PS: Sounds Like Jennifer Aniston thinks Tig is all that as well since she is on board to star in Netflix's new show First Ladies.

Keepin' It Real

Rachel


By Rachel Hall, Rachel has a Masters in Cultural Gender Studies, is a writer, a personal coach, and even though she is very very fun (just ask her three-year-old daughter) due to her academic inclinations, always the pooper at the party. She works with all kinds of people to improve their ability to work with all kinds of people. She can often be found hiding from her two children in her laundry room. More about her on her website.

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THE REAL REEL | Not Just For Lesbians

Tig Notaro's One Mississippi Is One Of The Most Relatable Shows On TV

One Mississippi Season 2 – Official Trailer | Prime Video

Viewers of One Mississippi are devastated about Amazon's recent decision to cancel the critically acclaimed show, and they should be. This show is nothing but honest, and insightful in a way that so many shows are not. The first season is mostly based on the actual recent events of Notaro's life, and often mirrors the very personal and intimate stories she shares in her book, "I'm Just A Person." Viewers will watch Tig survive cancer, a rare deadly infection, the loss of her mother, and a romantic break-up, pretty much simultaneously. So why would one watch a show with such seemingly depressing overtures? Because you will laugh out loud, and maybe cry too, but mostly, you will look like a dog, who hears a funny unidentifiable noise…cocking your head…ears perked… trying to make sense of what you are taking in, and you wont be able to stop watching, listening, and learning until you do. Tig succeeds in showing us the basic humanity that can be seen in all of us.

Want to know where an androgynous white lesbian and a post-military OCD Step father intersect? Or where a straight white girl can wind up begging a "boy-ish girl" with a double mastectomy to make-out with her? Or maybe where an evangelical evolution-denier can converse with a die-hard agnostic liberal? This show is the place where realistic characters (again, mostly based on Notaro's actual life) from actual diverse backgrounds, intersect. Tig doesn't have to create a reality show, flying in the "token liberal" to come to dinner with the "token conservative." She knows and is related to these people, and they know and love her back. This doesn't mean these relationships are without conflict, in-fact quite the opposite; the conflicting beliefs she engages with are the best part. That being said, she is able to show compassion for all sides, always focusing on each character's humanity.

Even if you haven't had the pleasure of dating a woman whose mother suddenly and unexpectedly passed away (sad to say I have), you will see pieces of yourself in this show. The thing about loving someone who is grieving, is that you get a very specific part of them, one they likely had never known. As their partner, you are grounded in the moment, aware of the bigger picture, able to understand that this time will pass. As the one grieving, they are not aware of all these things. They are floating, trying to understand their loss, wondering what it means to now be motherless, in world where their mother was still in many ways, a home base for them. A love they could go back to, if only metaphorically, if their life didn't work out. Now, they are alone. Except they are not, their partner might be there, still able to focus on other things like rent, and work, and friendships, and eating. This experience will likely bring you closer together… or wedge you apart. Either way, the world continues to turn and Notaro gives us a glimpse of this orbit.

In the same vein as the world continuing to turn among tragedy, Notaro very honestly delves into sexual assault, clearly in a very timely manner. She tells us that many of the episodes about sexual assault were written before the dozens and dozens of industry names were called out, including one of the executive producers on the show, Louis C.K. In fact, One Mississippi, in it's second season includes a masturbation in front of a co-worker scene making it hard to deny a connection to the Louis C.K. events and the episode. During an appearance on The View, Notaro states that she knows and believes some of C.K's victims, and "is relieved" not to be working with him. However, Notaro is addressing sexual assault before #metoo, and before it was common to discuss which celebrity was being called out, over the breakfast table. She is also addressing the complexity of family sexual abuse, the messiness of it, and how it affects family dynamics in general. She shows us how a grandfather can be giving loving shoulder rides one minute, and molesting the next. Again, she shows us the intersection of good and evil, love and hate, and the devastating lack of clarity in-between.

This show isn't about cancer, or death, or being a lesbian, or sexual assault, or make-ups, and break-ups. It's about our un-deniable humanity throughout all of these experiences. It reminds us that none of these experiences happen in a vacuum, or even one at a time, or to one person at a time. One might need to go pee, lose a parent, almost die, change the dial on the radio, recall that they were molested as a child, and fall in love… all at once. We don't get "I'm a lesbian only" days or "Cancer Mondays." In an era that is so politically charged, and so politically disappointing, with fragmented movements and sides to choose, One Mississippi makes picking a side impossible. One Mississippi chooses love and relationships above all, and the rest is the debris one must sort through in order to make sense of it all. Watch this show, I don't care who you are, what your political background, what gender you sleep with, or how many towels you use in the morning (it really can be astonishing how many towels some people use).


By Rachel Hall, Rachel has a Masters in Cultural Gender Studies, and a BA in Communication & Culture, and works with all kinds of people to improve their ability to work with all kinds of people. She can often be found hiding in her laundry room from her two children. More about her on her website.