We're entering week bajillion of social distancing, meaning many people haven't felt the warm touch of another human being in a very long time.

Some days that feels pretty manageable–enjoyable, even. After all, why shave in quarantine? Your cat isn't going to mind rubbing up against your cactus-calf in bed. But on other days, like the days we watch Normal People on Hulu or the day Jake Gyllenhaal posted that video where he tried to put a shirt on while upside down, it's excruciating.