CULTURE

Worst Quotes of the Week: Vogue, Ellen DeGeneres, and Ben Shapiro

People say a lot of dumb sh*t. Sometimes I hear about it.

Image: Steve Cho/Penta Press/Shutterstock.

People say a lot of dumb sh*t.

Some of those people are famous, and then I hear about it. Here are the worst quotes of the week:

3. That Vogue Writer Who Didn't Prepare for Her Rihanna Interview

"Normally I bring a list of questions, but I didn't have time to prepare one..."

Look, when you're interviewing or profiling one of the biggest musical artists in the world, you should probably do your homework. I'm not going to go so far as saying there was a racial element at play, as was evident with The Hollywood Reporter's BTS profile, but there does seem to be a trend of white writers profiling major non-white artists and pulling this "I wasn't ready lol" stunt.

That being said, in the writer's defense, it sounds like maybe she really was given way too short notice for the interview. In which case, maybe just don't include that bit next time.


2. Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen Degeneres George Bush

"Just because I don't agree with someone on everything doesn't mean that I am not going to be friends with them. When I say, 'Be kind to one another,' I don't mean only the people that think the same way you do. I mean be kind to everyone."

This was Ellen Degeneres' response to people online who were angry at her for buddying up with former president George W. Bush, a nice old man who paints sh*tty pictures of veterans and also lied to the American people in order to propel us into the Iraq War.

Look, it's a nice sentiment and Ellen DeGeneres seems like a very nice lady. I'm not going to sit here and sh*t on her for pandering to her primary demographic of stay-at-home boomers who love her milquetoast pranks but also kind of low-key hate gay people. But we're talking about a legitimate war criminal here, a guy whose lies led to countless violent deaths and the destabilization of an entire region of the world. So instead of pooping on Ellen for her nice, "politically neutral" sentiment of buddying up with war criminals who think she's going to burn in Hell for eternity, here's her explanation juxtaposed with photos from George Bush's Iraq War.

Rafael Shimunov's Remix of Ellen's BS Explanation www.youtube.com

1. Ben Shapiro

"You want a culture war in this country? You damn well have it, Beto O'Rourke...Because I promise you, if you come to tell me that you're going to indoctrinate my kids in particular policy and that I can't pull my kid out of the school and send my kid to a school I want to send them to...If you send a truant officer to remove my child, I have two choices at that point...One is to leave the country utterly. Two is to pick up a gun...Beto O'Rourke does not get to raise my child. And if he tries, I will meet him at the door with a gun."

This week, tiny lunatic Ben Shapiro attempted to take straw man arguments to a whole new level while essentially threatening to murder a political candidate he doesn't like.

Shapiro's rant was in response to Beto O'Rourke saying that if he were president, he would take tax exempt status away from any organization, religious or otherwise, that discriminated against LGBTQ+ people. How Ben Shapiro jumped from "Churches that discriminate against LGBTQ+ people will not get tax breaks" to "Officers will come to my home and remove my children, so I must kill Beto O'Rourke" is beyond me, but it's worth noting that Shapiro's brain is most likely a giant, malignant tumor at this point.

All joking about Ben Shapiro's soft, frail body and his almost definite inability to properly handle a firearm aside, here's the thing you need to understand about him: The only people who like Ben Shapiro are very, very stupid. They're so stupid that they can't hold functional conversations with anyone whose shoes aren't already in their mouths. They're so stupid that they've deluded themselves into believing they're capable of debate. They're so stupid that they actually listen to Ben Shapiro.

In other words, these people are incredibly dangerous. There's a reason that the Quebec City Mosque Shooter was a big Ben Shapiro fan, and I promise, it has nothing to do with him wanting to hold a debate.

CULTURE

Worst Quotes of the Week: Featuring Steve King, Liu Yifei, and Donald Trump

The definitive ranking of the top three dumbest, silliest, and lamest things said by public figures over the past week.

Alex Wong/Getty Images

Welcome to Popdust's worst quotes of the week: our definitive ranking of the top three dumbest, s**ttiest, and just generally lame things said by public figures over the past seven days.

3. Donald Trump

donald trump golf

"That guy's got a serious weight problem. Go home. Start exercising."

In what might go down in history as the most ironic insult ever made, Donald Trump, a man sporting the exact body proportions of a kumquat and some very bizarre ideas about exercise, made fun of another man for being fat. Wanna know the best part? That other man was one of his supporters. Or maybe the best part is that it's on video:

Basically, Trump mistook one of his supporters for a protester and doled out one of his famous Trumpian insults honing in on the lowest-hanging fruit possible. All's well that ends well though, because being insulted by Donald Trump was apparently a dream come true for Frank Dawson, the out-of-shape man who Trump targeted.

"I think he thought I was part of it, but I wasn't. I was the good part of it," Dawson told Fox News during a barely literate interview. "Everything is good. I love the guy. He is the best thing that ever happened to this country."

It's amazing to watch Trump straight-up savage this man's physical appearance, only for the man to turn around and heap praise upon him. If you ever wondered if the Right's obsession with the term "cuck" was projection, look no further than Frank Dawson.

2. Liu Yifei

liu yifei Getty Images

"I support the Hong Kong police; you can beat me up now. What a shame for Hong Kong." Hashtag: "I Also Support The Hong Kong Police," alongside a heart and bicep flex emoji.

liu yifei weibo

At first glance, Liu Yifei (who stars as Mulan in the upcoming live-action Disney remake) just seems to be sharing some average, run-of-the-mill, pro-Chinese communist propaganda in favor of police brutality against protesters in Hong Kong. But upon closer inspection, this one's a deep, dark rabbit hole that potentially reveals an effort by the Chinese government to force celebrities into publicly promoting party policies.

Unfortunately for Disney, Mulan might be a hard sell in the West if people think that the actress attempting to subvert expectations of women onscreen is drawing from her real life experience of subverting expectations by supporting literal human-rights abuses. Then again, it's hard to fault her too much, considering the Chinese government's history of targeting the families of expats who don't comply with their political wishes.

Luckily, Mulan is sure to make back its losses with the full support of The People's Republic of China, who will probably suggest that everyone needs to buy a ticket opening night, lest they be forced to publicly "embarrass" themselves.

3. Steve King

steve king Pictured: An actual troglodyteJOSHUA LOTT/ GETTY IMAGES

"What if we went back through all the family trees and just pulled those people out that were products of rape and incest? Would there be any population of the world left if we did that?"

If a necromancer brought the corpse of a serial rapist back to life, but its p-nis had already decomposed so it had to get off solely through talking about rape, that would be Republican Congressman Steve King. The man is a literal ghoul, and he's also very, very racist.

Steve King believes abortion is so bad that he excuses raping people. Steve King thinks human life is so precious that he condones people raping their siblings. Steve King adheres to Catholicism so strongly that he's willing to stand up in front of an entire club of fellow conservative folks and tell them how rape and incest have made the human race what it is today, and that if we got rid of it, he might not exist .

In short, Steve King is a wonderful representative of the 4th Congressional District of Iowa.

CULTURE

Worst Quotes of the Week Featuring Kid Rock, Joe Biden, and Jessica Alba

The definitive ranking of the top three dumbest, silliest, and lamest things said by public figures over the past week.

Erin Schaff/The New York Times

Welcome to Popdust's worst quotes of the week: our definitive ranking of the top three dumbest, silliest, and lamest things said by public figures over the past seven days.

3. Jessica Alba

"Looking back, when I shot my first InStyle cover, I was insecure. I felt like I needed to be someone I wasn't in order to be accepted...Who am I now? I give zero fucks. I have three children. They've exploded my body, and I'm cool with it."

Look, body positivity is awesome. Embracing yourself for who you are is great, too. Everybody should love themselves—unless they're awful, in which case they should do better. But somehow, Jessica Alba talking about how she's totally cool with her "exploded" body rings hollow. Like, come on, you're Jessica Alba.

Obviously, Alba is totally allowed to struggle with her own self-image and be honest about those struggles. Surely she has some scars and bumps after three pregnancies. But post-triple-pregnancy, Jessica Alba is still within the top 1% of Western beauty standards. No matter how bad you ever thought you looked, you're Jessica f**king Alba.

In all seriousness, Jessica Alba didn't say anything wrong. But maybe instead of celebrating an objectively gorgeous person's body acceptance, we should just not body shame people in the first place. How about that?

2. Joe Biden

joe biden Getty Images

"Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids—wealthy kids, black kids, Asian kids. No, I really mean it, but think how we think about it."

Joe Biden is very old. Sometimes very old people say things they shouldn't because times have changed, but they have not. So when Joe says poor kids can be just as talented as white kids, that's actually a very progressive stance considering he was born before the Civil War.

At least Biden tried to self-correct, clarifying that by "white kids," he really meant "wealthy kids." Although on second thought, that kind of makes his Freudian slip worse.

This one's a two-for, too, because Donald Trump jumped in, saying, "Joe is not playing with a full deck." While we agree with the sentiment, Donald Trump insulting someone else's mental capacity is kind of like one guy with a lobotomy trying to spit on another guy with a lobotomy to show that he's smarter. In the end, it's just two guys with lobotomies drooling all over the place, and someone else is going to need to clean up their mess.

1. Kid Rock

"Taylor Swift wants to be a democrat because she wants to be in movies….period. And it looks like she will suck the door knob off Hollyweird to get there. Oldest move in the book. Good luck girl."

If an inebriated wizard granted a construction site's Porta Potty the gift of life and handed it a guitar, that sentient Porta Potty would basically be Kid Rock. Kid Rock is just like your sexist, racist, boomer uncle, except somehow less talented.

Being irrelevant for over a decade has taken its toll on poor Kid, so he decided to come at Taylor Swift for...being a liberal-leaning woman, maybe? His Twitter rant isn't particularly sensical, but it does give off a strong vibe that Kid Rock was masturbating to a picture of T-Swift and then got really mad for some reason.

Congrats Kid Rock, this is the last time in your life you'll ever be ranked #1 in anything.