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On June 30, Gabi DeMartino released her latest single "Heaven." More than a year in the the making, the track is perhaps her most confessional. Using lyrics from the 1957 film An Affair to Remember, the song reveals the truth behind her broken engagement to ex-fiancé Collin Vogt.

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CULTURE

Joey Salads Peed into His Own Mouth and Ran for Congress

He still wants you to know that he didn't swallow.

There's just one year left before the highly anticipated 2020 presidential election.

Some have already chosen their champion, while many more emotionally stable people will ignore the whole thing until the nominations are in and just vote for whoever seems like less of an assh*le. But what often go ignored are the smaller, local races. Who's your representative? Who's your city councilmember? With very few exceptions, nobody has a clue.

Today, we're going to clear up that confusion for two small-time politicians in the New York area, two men who would otherwise be all too easy to confuse: Joseph Saladino and Joey Saladino. Joseph Saladino is the Republican Supervisor of the Town of Oyster Bay in Long Island. Joey Saladino—AKA Joey Salads—is a minor internet celebrity who made a name for himself by pumping out white supremacist "social experiment" videos and by literally peeing up into his own mouth, on camera. After that impressive display of aim, he aimed for a Congressional seat in Staten Island. Are Joseph and Joey related? I don't know. Who cares? Let's talk more about the pee video.

I watched it so you don't have to. He looks…happy. He swishes it around in his mouth before spitting it out. I'm not an expert on this particular type of content, so I can't judge it on its technical merits, but I did once see a lonely gorilla at a zoo drink her own urine, and a zookeeper informed me that she had recently lost her partner. It's actually a common behavior for severely depressed apes, but it's what Joey Salads does when he's living his best life.

He isn't even ashamed of it! He doesn't deny it or claim it was special effects. Is he too stupid to come up with such a simple lie? Maybe. There's very little research on the neurological damage caused by peeing into your own mouth. The only thing Joey wants you to know is that it was just for a jackass-style movie and that he didnotswallow.

Joey Salads Tweeting About Peeing Into His Own MouthTwitter

You might ask, "How could someone who has peed into his own mouth possibly have a high enough opinion of himself to believe he's a member of the master race?" And he does, by the way—see above, where he is pictured wearing a Nazi armband, in his words, "ironically" (just kidding, he doesn't know that word). Well, Joey Salads has his reasons. For one thing, he has firsthand experience with black people acting violently and destroying his property––mainly because he hired them to act violently and destroy his property. You can see their amateur acting in his "social experiment" videos, which generally close with insightful commentary like, "As you can see from this video, the black community is very violent towards Trump and his supporters."

For a long time, Mr. Salads denied the allegation that there was anything fake about these videos. His content used to be a regular feature on Drudge Report and other conservative outlets for people who love racist bullsh*t and have a distinct inability to distinguish fiction from reality. But eventually, Salads got caught on camera hiring a group of men to smash up a car that he'd plastered with Trump paraphernalia, and he's since admitted to some slight embellishment in his blind ambition to accumulate views and subscribers.

He's recently ended his campaign, but he managed to rack up nearly three million subscribers for his channel, and "Saladino for Congress" (@JoeySalads) has over 130,000 followers on Twitter. Too bad not all of his fans live in his district, because he would've been a shoe-in. Instead, Joey tried to win over voters the old-fashioned way, with his inspiring policy proposals. He latched onto a topic that's on a lot of voters' minds these days: the minimum wage.He wanted to lower it.

Noble effort, Mr. Salads! You will always be Congressman Salads in our hearts, and you'll never get that taste out of your mouth.

CULTURE

Trisha Paytas Needs Help: The Difference Between Gender Nonconforming and Transgender

The vast majority of Paytas's expressions of her "transgender identity" actually just suggest that she's not comfortable with traditional feminine gender roles.

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I hadn't heard of Trisha Paytas until she started trending on Twitter for her incredibly misguided "I AM TRANSGENDER (FEMALE TO MALE)" YouTube video.

I got very lucky, but alas, that luck ends here. After falling down the Trisha Paytas rabbit hole (and believe me, this is a rabbit hole), I've learned that Paytas is a YouTube star with close to 4.9 million subscribers. Her content consists of vlogs, mukbang, and unlistenable original music, but she's best known for her constant stream of controversies. These range from "trolling" videos to blatant racism to a video titled "Showering with my Boyfriend" that is exactly what you'd expect.

There's also this video in which she makes out with inanimate objects while wearing a knee brace, and since I have to live with these images in my head, I'm subjecting you to the same torture:

making out with my couchwww.youtube.com


When someone with a history of blatant self-promotion, bandwagon hopping, and self-proclaimed "trolling" comes out with an all caps "I AM TRANSGENDER" video, the natural inclination is to doubt her sincerity. This instinct doubles when the video description reads: "I'll be in SAN FRANCISCO SAT OCT 19 and LOS ANGELES OCT 20 TICKETS HERE," followed by a link to her upcoming concert tour. Genuinely coming out into a community frequently targeted with hatred and violence would probably warrant more subtlety than a typical clickbait "buy my merch" video.

I AM TRANSGENDER (FEMALE TO MALE)www.youtube.com

After watching the entire 15-minute video, I have some mixed feelings. Upfront, I'm not transgender. I don't claim to speak for the trans community in any way. With that being said, I have close friends who have transitioned and walked me through my own education on the process, alongside the ins-and-outs of the community. My assessment is based entirely upon my understanding of the issue.

So first thing's first: Paytas's video is super, duper problematic. One Twitter user compiled a list of just some of the statements Paytas made that led me to shout at my screen. These include assertions like "I am transgender because I wish I had a penis so that my assertiveness would be respected and I wouldn't be thought of as a bitch," and also, "I CHOOSE to identify as boy."

No doubt about it, Paytas's video is a trainwreck, and I understand where all the backlash is coming from. The way she talks about and misidentifies transgenderism dilutes its seriousness, and the visibility of her platform poses a danger for actual transgender people who need to be taken seriously in order to get the medical and psychological assistance they need.

But here's the caveat: I don't think Paytas is attempting to be malicious at the expense of the transgender community. Rather, she seems to be confusing nonconforming gender presentation with being transgender.

One important distinction to make here is between gender nonconformity and gender dysphoria. Gender nonconformity is feeling uncomfortable within established gender roles. The root of these issues lie within social expectations around gender as opposed to one's own psychology. Gender dysphoria, on the other hand, is a medical diagnosis for people who experience persistent conflict between their gender identity and their biological sex. A gender nonconforming person can present as any gender they want, or choose their gender presentation at will without actually being "transgender." A transgender person almost always consistently feels that they were born with the wrong body. The difference is dysphoria, and the cure for dysphoria is usually transitioning.

The vast majority of Paytas's expressions of her "transgender identity" actually just suggest that she's not comfortable with traditional feminine gender roles. For instance, when she says that she wishes she had a penis so that her assertiveness would be respected, that's an issue rooted in social norms, not a mental disconnect between her genitals and her gender. Similarly, when she says that she's transgender because she doesn't like to wear makeup or that she identifies as a drag queen, Paytas is voicing her discomfort with traditionally feminine gender roles.

In other words, Paytas has every right to express herself as gender nonconforming. She's more than welcome to present herself as male. But that does not make her transgender. Transgender people don't choose to be transgender. Nobody chooses to have gender dysphoria. So many transgender issues revolve around access to healthcare procedures to correct the underlying issue of dysphoria. It is not a choice.

I'd like to give Paytas the benefit of the doubt here that she just doesn't understand the language and terminology involved and is unaware that she's conflating nonconforming gender presentation with being transgender. But her Tweets in response to the backlash come off very poorly, and she even refers to transgender people as "other trans."

Paytas's subsequent apology video (this time titled "apology" in all lowercase and devoid of any concert promotion description) doesn't fare much better. She seems to think that the backlash stems from the transgender community being unwilling to accept her as transgender due to her appearance and the fact that she has breasts, entirely failing to realize that the issue stems from her conflation of not wanting to conform to gender roles with "choosing" to be transgender.

apologywww.youtube.com


Paytas seems to grasp that her language rubbed people the wrong way, which is a start, but she completely fails to understand why. At one point during her apology video, Paytas laments the possibility of a future romantic partner seeing the title of her previous video and rejecting her for being transgender, despite the fact that she "chooses" how she presents on a daily basis.

At another point, she expresses a bizarre glorification of transgender identity, saying: "...I've always been drawn to the transgender community and the movement because [I] just love they can be out and open and people like applauded them." Paytas's characterization of transgender identity here is particularly staggering, as it seems to paint transgender identity as a celebration instead of a genuine expression of self that often subjects a person to discrimination and violence.

All of this suggests that Paytas is deeply insecure and is searching for an identity to latch onto. While her attachment to the "transgender" label is misguided and almost definitely incorrect, I'm not sure that makes her worthy of derision. If anything, Paytas strikes me as someone deeply in need of help, guidance, education, and empathy. I sincerely hope she finds it.

MUSIC

Artist, Author, and Comedian Anna Akana Is Now a Bonafide Musician

The internet star talks debut album, new single, and her transition into the music scene.

Anna Akana is no stranger to fame.

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On April 30th, 2019, popular YouTuber Desmond 'Etika' Amofah, in the throes of a mental breakdown, appeared on a YouTube "news" channel called DramaAlert, wherein the host, Keemstar, challenged him: "Then why live? Just jump off a cliff."

Less than two months later, Etika actually jumped off a bridge.

Keemstar's initial response to Etika's disappearance sheds light on the extreme toxicity of YouTube drama culture.

In the world of petty YouTube drama, there's no bigger name than Keemstar. The 37-year-old YouTuber, whose real name is Daniel Keem, is best known for his DramaAlert channel where he capitalizes on the constant stream of infighting within YouTube culture. While he bills his show as the "#1 source for news on the social interactions in online entertainment," it's more accurate to call it a platform for Keemstar to heighten, encourage, and involve himself in the drama. Keemstar, with strands of grey in his overgrown beard, can often be found arguing with and making fun of people 10 to 20 years his junior.

For months prior to his suicide, Etika publicly struggled with mental illness, posting delusional and suicidal thoughts on social media and recording multiple confrontations with police that led to brief stints in institutions. Keemstar took Etika's arrest as an opportunity to bring him on the show to make light of his mental illness, suggest that his suicidal musings were an act, and ultimately, egg him on like he was a sideshow attraction.

Before bringing Etika on the show, some fans warned Keemstar that Etika wasn't in a good mental space for that level of ridicule.


"Suck a d**k. I run a news channel, I'm going to get my viewers the news, I don't give a f**k about your fake SJW emotions on twitter for attention," tweeted Keemstar.

On DramaAlert, Etika manically ranted about life being a simulation and his own role as a god, to which Keemstar responded by facetiously suggesting he jump off a cliff. Some might claim that line is taken out of context, but the only necessary context is that a 37-year-old man brought an obviously mentally troubled kid on his show to make fun of him and flippantly joke about committing suicide. Then the kid really jumped. That is the context.

The entire episode can be watched here, but fair warning: It's hard to watch an adult smugly egg on a troubled young man in the middle of a mental breakdown.

The interview culminates in Etika calling Keemstar out for wrongly outing an older, small-time Runscape streamer as a pedophile and making the man cry on livestream years prior.

"I always shied away from whenever people would make fun of people. It just felt bad. It's like why would you tear that person down? Be nice to people...you're f**king mean," said Etika.

"Sometimes I am mean about it but it's still funny," responded Keemstar.

Etika grew increasingly upset about the situation, yelling at Keemstar to shut up and eventually disconnecting.

"Oh my god, what a f***king nut job," Keemstar laughed at the end.

Afterwards, Keemstar bragged about direct messaging Etika to call him "weak" and Etika blocking him in response.

On June 20th, Etika posted his final video, "I'm sorry" on YouTube. His body wouldn't be found for another five days, during which fans frantically searched New York City for him.

During this time, Keemstar posted an almost constant stream of Etika-related tweets and memes on Twitter, many of them doubting the authenticity of his mental illness and suggesting it was a stunt, just like he did during his DramaAlert episode. He has since deleted these Tweets, but luckily there are screenshots.

As a side note, Keemstar also has a history of making fun of mental illness.

Now that Etika is dead, Keemstar has purged his Twitter of all "doubt" and is instead pretending that he was a true friend to Etika who really, truly cared about him.

Indeed, Etika apparently was a big fan of Keemstar, and he mentioned him directly in "I'm sorry."

Naturally, some of Etika's fans who witnessed Keemstar's behavior throughout the whole ordeal have been calling out Keemstar for his hypocrisy.

"I really don't care how much hate I get for this. You had a prime opportunity to help this man, and you sat back and laughed. Hope you enjoy living with regret," said one user.

Keemstar responded to the backlash with a Tweet lamenting his frustration "with some people in this community that would use this opportunity to swing at me or others. Incredibly disrespectful."

Except: They're one hundred percent correct. YouTube has one of the most toxic cultures anywhere online, and much of that centers around "drama." YouTube monetarily incentivizes fighting, meanness, and bullying. For a mentally ill content creator in that space, it's incredibly easy to be swallowed whole. Keemstar reigns supreme at the center of that culture, with his DRAMAALERT faux "news" channel boasting over five million subscribers.

Keemstar is a cultural grifter who manipulated a mentally ill man for clicks and continued to meme "mental illness for attention" bulls**t until the man was finally found dead. He doesn't "report news." He eggs it on. Worst of all, this isn't new for Keemstar. He's a vulture who has spent years preying on people's worst moments for profit. In that line of work, it was inevitable that one of his targets would eventually commit suicide, and it's insane that Keemstar is now trying to position himself as a good guy.

How can someone who behaves like Keemstar possibly speak of disrespect? How little self-awareness does someone like that need to have to function?

All of this isn't to say that Keemstar directly caused Etika's suicide. Nobody should hold Keemstar responsible, and Etika was failed on many fronts, including by the US mental health care system and society's larger stigma around mental illness. But Etika's death was entirely preventable, and instead of helping him in his moment of need, Keemstar publicly ridiculed him before a massive audience for profit. Keemstar does not get to turn around now and play the hero or the mourning friend. Keemstar's behavior is indicative of YouTube's larger culture of toxicity and abuse, and that culture just cost a young life. Now, Keemstar has to live with that.

Culture Feature

Shane Dawson is The Real Victim Here

The strangest celebrity apology of all time.

Phil Mccarten/UPI/Shutterstock

In perhaps the most "did anyone ask?" apology of 2019 so far, Shane Dawson has come out to firmly and decisively deny having sex with his cat.

Which immediately raised the question: did Shane Dawson have sex with his cat?

The 30-year-old YouTube star is referencing a resurfaced clip from a podcast in 2015 in which he said, "One time I laid my cat down on her back...I moved her little chicken legs spread open or whatever, I came all over the cat. It was like my first sexual experience," he said. "I was also like 19." As much as this sounds like a snippet of oddly specific erotic fiction found in some very dark, desperate corner of the world wide web, Dawson claims it was intended as a joke.

He continued to wildly over-explain for 7 more tweets:







The best part of Dawson's apology is its bizarre intensity. It's hard to think of a stronger lead sentence than, "i didn't fuck my cat." Because the thing is, no one REALLY thought Dawson fucked his cat until he denied it so vehemently. If he had tried laughing off the absurdity of the claim, we would all have been like, "oh, well, what white dude hasn't said something truly heinous he thought would make a great sketch?" But listen, Shane, when a friend jokingly accuses you of taking your sister to prom, and you retort, "I DID NOT TAKE MY SISTER TO PROM FUCK YOU," everyone is suddenly pretty clear on the fact that you took your sister to prom.

While the overall tone of self-pity and martyrdom in this thread is truly stunning, perhaps the best line of all is: "but all of my offensive jokes, over the top stories, and insensitive jokes are something that still haunt me and something I have to be faced with everyday on the internet. and it never gets easier." Truly, Shane Dawson is bearing a heavy cross few can imagine.

The trials and tribulations of a white male YouTube personality are just something the rest of us can never know. Imagine having to be accountable for the disgusting things you say on public platforms. Imagine facing the kind of oppression Dawson has faced in being accused of fucking his cat (because he once graphically described fucking his cat). Imagine having the courage and bravery to carry on making shitty Internet content anyway.

Now, to add to a poor, poor Dawson's already burdened soul, more instances of the "offensive jokes, over the top stories, and insensitive jokes" he referred to have surfaced. These include his comments on trans people, his use of the n-word, and previously doing blackface.

Thoughts and prayer to Shane Dawson, the obvious victim in all of this, in this trying time. A true role model for us all. May his heavy load grow lighter (not the one he busted on his cat's stomach, his metaphorical, emotional load).


Brooke Ivey Johnsonis a Brooklyn based writer, playwright, and human woman. To read more of her work visit her blog or follow her twitter @BrookeIJohnson.


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