Watch the Epic Battle Between a Jeff Goldblum Look-Alike and a Gross Racist
Just imagine getting bodied by Jeff Golblum.
Picture this.
You're just a normal dude, hanging out with your shirt off and yelling racial slurs at a guy who looks kind of like Jurassic Park star Jeff Goldblum. All you want to do is be yourself—just a gross, racist, sexist, shirtless man living his best life—and then boom, you're all over the Internet because some guy who looks mildly like the star of The Fly f*cking bodied you.
Sure, you were the one who started provoking him with racial slurs. And yes, you also threw the first punch. But can't a gross racist guy falling out of his own pants catch a break for once?
Apparently not. Apparently, in this society it's totally your fault when you yell racial sh*t at someone and try to punch them, so they beat your ass. Even worse, people make fun of the fact that your fighting stance makes no sense whatsoever. So what if instead of putting your fists up in front of you like a normal person, you raise them over your head and spread your legs like you're cheering while you poo? It's not like you went to martial arts camp.
Furthermore, how could you have possibly known that the Jeff Goldblum-esque dude you were yelling racial slurs at did? Now, everyone is talking about how that guy's spin kick was fire, and how cool it was when he nailed you in the kidney. Well it wasn't cool to you. It hurt, and nobody seems to care because they just see you as a slobbering racist chud who can't even keep his pants on.
Then, to make matters worse, you went and grabbed a big stick to use as a weapon thinking that maybe it would give you the upper hand against Jeff Goldblum Guy in Round 2. But nope. Big, mean, *insert racism* Jeff Goldblum guy had to go and disarm you, taking your stick away, and your last shred of dignity along with it. And you better believe they caught that on video, too.