Watch the Epic Battle Between a Jeff Goldblum Look-Alike and a Gross Racist
Just imagine getting bodied by Jeff Golblum.
Picture this.
You're just a normal dude, hanging out with your shirt off and yelling racial slurs at a guy who looks kind of like Jurassic Park star Jeff Goldblum. All you want to do is be yourself—just a gross, racist, sexist, shirtless man living his best life—and then boom, you're all over the Internet because some guy who looks mildly like the star of The Fly f*cking bodied you.
Sure, you were the one who started provoking him with racial slurs. And yes, you also threw the first punch. But can't a gross racist guy falling out of his own pants catch a break for once?
Yes the guy who was shirtless deserved it. He started it. Before this he was yelling at glasses guy calling him eve… https://t.co/LyTydxUSBx— Leo Senpai 🔪 (@Leo Senpai 🔪) 1589263001.0
Apparently not. Apparently, in this society it's totally your fault when you yell racial sh*t at someone and try to punch them, so they beat your ass. Even worse, people make fun of the fact that your fighting stance makes no sense whatsoever. So what if instead of putting your fists up in front of you like a normal person, you raise them over your head and spread your legs like you're cheering while you poo? It's not like you went to martial arts camp.
Furthermore, how could you have possibly known that the Jeff Goldblum-esque dude you were yelling racial slurs at did? Now, everyone is talking about how that guy's spin kick was fire, and how cool it was when he nailed you in the kidney. Well it wasn't cool to you. It hurt, and nobody seems to care because they just see you as a slobbering racist chud who can't even keep his pants on.
Then, to make matters worse, you went and grabbed a big stick to use as a weapon thinking that maybe it would give you the upper hand against Jeff Goldblum Guy in Round 2. But nope. Big, mean, *insert racism* Jeff Goldblum guy had to go and disarm you, taking your stick away, and your last shred of dignity along with it. And you better believe they caught that on video, too.
@fallenleo Omg why did I seem them too!! https://t.co/SjCGMPpwYr— Cali (@Cali) 1589293572.0
- How CoStar's Andy Florance thinks Jeff Goldblum and Brad ... ›
- Jeff Goldblum believes Priyanshu Chatterjee looks better than him ... ›
- SUE The T. Rex Finds Romance In 'Love Actually' Parody For ... ›
- Jeff Goldblum Costume Contest | Alys Stephens Performing Arts ... ›
- Jeff Goldblum costume contest, new $75 ticket package announced ... ›
- Jeff Goldblum lookalike fistfights neighborhood cat-caller in viral video. ›
- Jeff Goldblum Discovers His Many Doppelgängers - The Graham ... ›
- Jeff Goldblum Look-alike Gets in a Brutal Street Fight That Goes ... ›
- WATCH: Jeff Goldblum Look-Alike Lands Kick in Street Fight | Heavy ... ›
- Jeff Goldblum Look-Alike Delivers Spinning Kick During Crazy ... ›
In Defense of Jeff Goldblum's "Stupid" Islam Comments on "Drag Race"
Unlike most Americans, Jeff Goldblum had some humility on the issue
Actor Jeff Goldblum appeared as the guest judge on Friday night's episode of RuPaul's Drag Race and got himself into some hot water.
After Iranian-American contestant Jackie Cox walked the runway in a red and white striped kaftan with a blue hijab rimmed in stars—in keeping with the episode's "Stars and Stripes" theme—Goldblum asked her if she was religious. She responded that she is not but that her outfit "represents the importance that visibility for people of religious minorities need to have in this country."
She later got into how Donald Trump's controversial (and blatantly Islamophobic) travel ban had affected her personally, saying, "When the Muslim ban happened, it really destroyed a lot of my faith in this country. It really hurt my family … And I had to show America that you can be LGBT and from the Middle East, and there's gonna be complicated sh** around that, and that's okay. But I'm here, and I deserve to be in America just as much as anyone else."
It's a potent and important message in a time when xenophobia and exclusion are being promoted as the cure for all of America's problems, but that significance ended up being overshadowed by the outrage that erupted around Jeff Golblum's attempt to dig into some of that "complicated sh**." Noting what he referred to as "an interesting wrinkle," Goldblum asked, "Is there something in that religion that is anti-homosexuality and anti-woman? Does that complicate the issue? I'm just raising it and thinking out loud and maybe being stupid."
While RuPaul immediately brushed aside that bit of self-doubt, noting that "Drag has always shaken the tree, so to speak," it's important that Goldblum acknowledged his possible stupidity on the subject. The truth is that the vast majority of Americans are stupid when it comes to the topic of Islam—which is far from the monolithic system of oppression that Americans are encouraged to imagine. While some have criticized Goldblum's suggestion that Islam is particularly unfriendly toward women and the LBGTQ community as "dangerous," isn't there a danger in leaving commonly shared thoughts unspoken and uninterrogated?
As a nation, we've spent much of the last two decades being indoctrinated into a view of muslim countries as uniquely oppressive to the point that our military involvement in the region is justified and necessary. The truth is that misogyny and homophobia remain common to most cultures and religious institutions around the world, and the fact that America has legalized gay marriage and platformed a popular show about drag is hardly proof that we have moved past those problems ourselves. But while it would have been better for Jeff Goldblum to acknowledge that reality in his comments, that doesn't mean he's oblivious to it.
As it turns out, Goldblum has seen a lot of American homophobia. His older brother Lee was pushed into "conversion therapy" by their father, whom Goldblum describes as "conspicuously cruel" toward Lee, who has since passed away. All the while Lee's sexuality remained a secret, and it seems more than likely that the shame and trauma of those experiences contributed to Lee's later struggles with mental health. Some viewers have speculated that it was thoughts of his late brother that motivated Goldblum's tearful reception of the episode's lip-sync battle.
Regardless, it's safe to assume that Goldblum is aware of the homophobia that is still a big part of American culture and of most forms of religious belief. He has expressed broad criticism of organized religion in the past, and while Jackie Cox's outfit brought the topic to Islam, Goldblum might have asked the same sort of questions if a contestant from a Christian or Jewish background had dressed as a nun or a hasidic woman.
So while it's worth criticizing the islamophobia that can be inferred in Goldblum's comments, we can't jump at the chance to "cancel him." His perspective is likely more nuanced than a harsh interpretation would suggest, and the humility included in his note that he was "thinking out loud and maybe being stupid" deserves some credit.
Certainly criticism of Islam and Muslim-majority countries should be handled carefully and placed in a context that acknowledges the harm done to those cultures by American and European imperialism. But if we treat that criticism as inherently taboo and hateful, we give fodder to actual voices of hate to say that we are ignoring reality—the reality, for instance, that Iranian women are currently striving to improve with their headscarf protests.
For evidence, see the myriad "conservative" (white/Christian-supremacist) publications now rallying behind Jeff Goldblum as a supposed victim of cancel culture for calling out Muslim homophobia. Never mind that those same publications would never publish a tolerant word about a show like Ru Paul's Drag Race in any other context.
So yes, take Jeff Goldblum's slightly clueless perspective on Islam as an opportunity to educate and correct broader American ignorance, but leave outrage out of the equation—it doesn't help anything.