These reigning emo kings had so many hits
It's too bad that Fall Out Boy sucks now.
In the early aughts, FOB was the reigning champion of emo pop-punk. The elongated song titles and obtrusive lyricism of bassist Pete Wentz were as nonsensical as they were allegorical, making for legendary emo bars like "The best way to make it through / With hearts and wrists intact / Is to realize two out of three ain't bad."
Meanwhile, Patrick Stump's glossy vocals carried these moments home with a shocking amount of bravado and transparency. Fall Out Boy represented everything that was great about emo: melodrama so intense it bordered on satirical. Today is Joseph Mark Trohman's birthday, the band's gnarly guitarist, so in his honor, we've put together a list of the best FOB deep cuts to harken back to the days of eyeliner, heavy brushed bangs, and hatred for your mother.
The (Shipped) Gold Standard
Off of 2008's severely under-appreciated Folie a Deux, "The Shipped Gold Standard" was the turn of the tide for Fall Out Boy. A master of their craft at the time, the band still possessed the refined emo charm of their magnum-opus Infinity on High, but Folie a Deux had the epic R&B chops of seasoned pop professionals, and was evidence that FOB was aging with their fans with a savvy-nuance. "I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs," Stump calls out. "But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me." There is no line more representative of emo insecurity than that.
"The Take Over, The Breaks Over"
The severely over-looked Infinity on High single was bursting through the ceiling with charisma and grit. "Baby, seasons change but people don't," Stump croons like a too-cool-for-school rock and roller. While traditional FOB constituents cited From Under The Cork Tree as their last truly great Emo masterpiece, "The Take Over…," which melodically was inspired by The Rolling Stone's "Can't Get No Satisfaction" and featured two slick guitar solos from Panic! At The Disco's Ryan Ross and New Found Glory's Chad Gilbert, ushered in a new wave of Emo music. The genre was no longer for outcasts on the fringes of society. In fact, it could be as cool as Mick Jagger himself.
Bang The Doldrums
This Infinity on High deep cut was almost featured in Shrek, which in hindsight would have been strange, but regardless, the song's buoyancy made for an infectious listen. Not to mention, the song's crude descriptions of emotionless emo love is so dated that it beckons a smirk and an eye roll. "This is a love song in my own way," Stump sings. "Happily ever after below the waist."
I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me
Another deliciously misogynistic deep cut, this track was an emo masterpiece for those who knew it. "Douse yourself in cheap perfume, it's so fitting, so fitting of the way you are," Stump slurs together as guitars thrash and propel him forward. "You can't cover it up /Can't cover it up!" A sprinkle of misogyny, a dollop of rock and roll callousness, an unwarranted song title, and a few screamo harmonies from Wentz himself made this one of the greatest, crunchiest emo songs ever.
Nobody Puts a Baby In A Corner
With the kickstart intro, the relentless pacing driven by Joe Trohman's signature guitar work, and Andy Hurley's impeccable drumming and syncopation, "Nobody Puts a Baby In a Corner" is a crowning achievement of an emo-pop song and showcases some of Stump's best vocal work. The track is like an adrenaline-spiked sugar crash, and if I had a nickel for every time I saw "I'll be your best-kept secret and your biggest mistake" written in the top corner of an AIM profile…
Where Did The Party Go
As Fall Out Boy's last good album, 2013's Save Rock & Roll mostly teetered towards the commercial-friendly radio dribble we hear now, but on "Where Did The Party Go," we heard what could have been if the quartet had just charted the course instead of selling out. It's a pop song, sure, but the song brings with it glistening moments of what could have been had FOB combined their pop and anti-party emo sensibilities together. "I looked for your name on the Ouija board, and you're making magic oh dear lord," Stump grumbles. "You and me are the difference between the real love and the love on TV."
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There's an entire genre of YouTube videos that consists of nothing but news bloopers, and they're equal parts hilarious and panic-inducing.
"Right after the break, we're going to interview Erik Weihenmayer, who climbed the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest, but he's gay—I mean, he's gay, excuse me, he's blind."
Back in the early 2000's a young news anchor in New Mexico had a slip of the tongue on live TV that has enterred the annals of news blooper history.
Gay Mount Everest www.youtube.com
Cynthia Izaguirre had just gotten done reporting on a separate story discussing activism for gay rights, and was setting up a segment with the first blind man to climb Mount Everest, and her thoughts got twisted on the way to her mouth, resulting in a 14-second clip that would live on in infamy.
He could do so much better.
Justin Bieber's musical career and public image have become inseparable.
Earlier this year, the Canadian pop star released Changes, a shallow collection of sex-tinged R&B songs that served as the singer's first album in five years. The album was explicitly dedicated to his wife, Hailey Bieber, which was perhaps the only interesting thing about it since the duo's tumultuous relationship was already established as an inescapable part of pop culture.
The Biebers' 2019 Vogue cover story illuminated what the publication called an "All-In" romance; it was filled with bizarre anecdotes, including that the couple married quickly to break their year-long celibacy. Bieber–an openly devout Christian whose close ties to the controversial Hillsong United Church have remained problematic throughout his career–had seemingly reentered the public eye as a changed married man of God who sang exclusively about making love to his wife.
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