The reason your adulthood is haunted.
Back when there were only 7 Halloween franchise films and zero Disney live-action remakes, Nickelodeon was every '90s kids after school babysitter (unless you had adult supervision, in which case, enjoy your health insurance and advanced degree by now).
Halloween specials of '90s cartoons captured exactly what every kid wanted Halloween to be: unsupervised roaming and feeling at least a little endangered by strangers. Plus, the borderline PG imagery of Nickelodeon cartoons left a permanent, creepy impression on our entire generation. In season 1 of Hey Arnold, a ghost conductor with a broken face serenades traumatized children on his ghost train. A mutilated heifer soldier comes back from the dead wielding his own dismembered leg in Rocko's Modern Life. Oh, and Aaahh! Real Monsters...exists.
Now that Nickelodeon streams on Hulu (and many of these episodes are available to stream elsewhere), for a nostalgic stroll through the disturbing images that now haunt your mind, we present the 11 best Nickelodeon Halloween TV specials.
"Hey Arnold!" - "Haunted Train"
"After hearing a story from Grandpa, Arnold, Gerald and Helga attempt to find the Haunted Train."
For Adults: Daria, "Depth Takes a Holiday"
"Daria and Jane must convince Christmas, Halloween, and Guy Fawkes Day to return to Holiday Island."
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The rocker celebrates his 45th birthday today
Jack White almost became a priest.
But then again, did he? The iconic rocker has regularly beguiled the press. "I'd got accepted to a seminary in Wisconsin," he told 60 Minutes Mike Wallace back in 2005 in what seemed like a moment of genuine candor. "At the last second, I thought, 'I'll just go to public school."
Whether you believe that story or not, the blues-rock polymath, who turns 45 today, has led an undeniably punk life and crafted some of the most sacred rock music in history. Two decades after The White Stripes' self-titled debut, Jack White has remained purposefully slippery with the public. He told publications that he and Meg White, his then-wife and White Stripes-cohort, were the youngest of ten siblings and claimed that his label, Third Man Records, used to be a candy company, among other outlandish claims.
Dodge & Burn by The Dead Weather<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="59052057d58747fe96735fc4bb4c2b46"><iframe lazy-loadable="true" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/98oMvKF-78Y?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>Cocked and loaded, The Dead Weather's 2015 effort, <em>Dodge and Burn,</em> finds the band at their most calamitous. "I got a bloodhound tooth hanging like a dagger," Kills vocalist Alison Mosshart cackles on "Let Me Through" with distorted hisses. With White on drums, The Dead Weather is White at his most implacable. </p><p>When he announced no touring would be done in support of <em>Dodge & Burn</em>, the implication was that TDW was formed as a sort of catharsis for White, somewhere to put all the rock-and-roll tar that he's built up over the years. The Captain Beefhart inspired super-group all but detonated on <em>Dodge & Burn</em>, with their slinky grunge guitars and feral growls all sounding extra crunchy.</p><p>The band reflects on the inevitable apocalypse with a bombastic snap that gladly welcomes violence and destruction ("Open Up") and rolls their eyes at anyone who threatens to ruin their demolition, even if its Jesus himself ("Buzzkill(er)." <em>Dodge & Burn</em> is reserved exclusively for those who need to let off a little steam...or start a bar fight.<br></p>
Consolers of the Lonely by The Raconteurs<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="a8ba051ea61ebd21775ad6dc743cd0b3"><iframe lazy-loadable="true" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7lL1CW140FQ?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>Before Beyonce's surprise album redefined the marketing of new releases, The Raconteurs rushed the arrival of 2008's <em>Consolers of the Lonely</em>, all but upending press coverage and flipping mass media the bird in the process. Announced and released within a week, <em>Consoler's</em> remains one of The Raconteur's grittiest records. </p><p><em>Broken Boy Soldier's</em> light-hearted buoyancy was nowhere to be seen. "Haven't seen the sun in a week, my skin is getting pale," calls out Brendan Banson before cackling guitars snap the necks of anyone who has a problem with it on Consoler's intro. </p><p>Jack White is dripping in manic swagger as The Raconteur's co-frontman. He makes the big hooks sound comfortable and casual as if he's jamming with some friends in his garage. He morphs the country twang of "Top Yourself" into a crude, braggadocious declaration of anti-love, ("How you gonna get that deep, when your daddy ain't around here to do it to you?") and uses bright, uplifting horns on "Many Shades of Black" to affirm to the same lover that their tumultuous relationship was destined to end, so it's okay. </p><p>It's all so petty and punk, with White at times bordering on deranged, but it's what adds to The Racounter's unsettling charm. They refuse to be your favorite rock band.</p>
Get Behind Me Satan by The White Stripes<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="42a95cacb5b448443b5dcfaee6f342ff"><iframe lazy-loadable="true" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Hrcum8DHDpo?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>While highly contested, <em>Get Behind Me Satan</em> is The White Stripes boldest album, taking the blues-rock sounds of <em>Elephant </em>and <em>De Stijl </em>that brought them national fame and throwing it to the wolves in favor of oddball piano arrangements, acoustic guitars, and many marimbas. It finds White spiraling into despair, with quirky tracks like "White Moon" and "Little Ghost" sounding like a real-time emotional breakdown, the latter's narrator performing obscure tasks like "dancing" with "the wall" as he falls in love with a ghost only he can see.</p><p>While the record left critics confused, it's jarring sound redefined The White Stripes' identity. Known for their hard-hitting arena rock, <em>Get Behind Me Satan</em> blew open the door for what came after. They were no longer confined to anything and were free to create whatever they pleased. It was inherently a move that was super rock and roll.<br></p>
Lazaretto by Jack White<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8c43c41a2df22aba84ac16ddf5c1d9b5"><iframe lazy-loadable="true" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qI-95cTMeLM?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p><em>Lazaretto</em> is Jack White as his most relentless. Each song on his magnetic sophomore work is a show of force. While Meg White's absence is notable and at times the album borders on Jack White just flexing his guitar chops, each song is full of intricacies that tumble into each other, redefining what's possible under the "blues-rock" moniker. It's inherently busy, with tracks like "High Ball Stepper" descending into chaos with its screams, crisp guitars, organs, and banjo slowly closing in on you–but <em>Lazaretto </em>found White pushing himself endlessly. What was he truly capable of when alone in a room with other bold musicians? The answer was: a lot. </p><p>The cover-art finds White sitting elegantly on a stone throne decorated by angels, a casual flex by White, who believed himself to be a tour-de-force, otherworldly musician, unconfined to the creative restrictions of the mortal world. It was a bold claim that only Jack White could make.</p>
Nickelodeon, Netflix, and Joe Murray create a reboot featuring LGBTQ+ identity, technology, and identity crisis to show your inner child that '90s cartoons are the answer to all your problems.
Obviously, '90s cartoons were insane.
From the mind-boggling anatomy of CatDog and a conspicuous number of red demon-like characters to someone being allowed to title a children's show "The Angry Beavers," it's no wonder that being a millennial these days is practically a pathologized disorder. With the highest rates of mental disorders, '90s kids have also been dubbed "the brokest generation," and, worst of all, they have far less sex than prior generations. So, to sate our constant nostalgia for simpler times (before we realized the planet was doomed by 2050), Nickelodeon, Netflix, and Rocko's Modern Life creator Joe Murray made a 45-minute special with all the chaotic energy of the original series but applied to modern day crises.
"The 21st century is a very dangerous century." Rocko, the neurotic wallaby who taught '90s kids what a terrible Australian accent sounds like, breaks the fourth wall only once in Netflix's reboot, Rocko's Modern Life: Static Cling. Rocko's lament comes after he and his best friends, Heffer and Filburt, have just returned to O-Town after spending 20 years suspended in space. When they return home, they're assailed by smartphone technology, social media craze, cancel culture, and the corporatization of everything they love. But the only change Rocko can't accept is that his favorite show, The Fatheads, has gone off the air (he's spent 20 years obsessively watching the VHS, after all). So Netflix's rebooted special of a '90s cartoon centers around Rocko's quest to create a rebooted special of a '90s cartoons. Why? As the O-Town news reports, this "90s cartoon solves problem$."
Rocko's Modern Life: Static Cling Trailer | Netflix youtu.be
As heavy-handed and clumsy as the meta-commentary often is, the series' original creator, Joe Murray, chose to stream the Nickelodeon cartoon in order to maintain more creative freedom. "I wanted it to be as strong as the show and as much satire and as much social commentary as we could do in the times that we live in now," he told CBR. Indeed, Rocko returns to a world "where coffee shops are on every corner, food trucks offer multi-layered tacos, touch-screen O-Phones are being upgraded on a near-constant basis, an instant-print kiosk has replaced Rocko's old job at Kind-of-a-Lot-O-Comics, and radioactive energy drinks turn their consumers into mutants," as per Netflix's description.
Aside from pointed jokes about how the business behind computer animation is as soulless and robotic as its sub-par creations, the special's most overt social commentary is on its first trans character. "I wanted the story to be about change, how we deal with it and how it affects us," said Murray, who voiced the Bigheads' daughter Rachel (Ralph in the original series). Murray added, "I couldn't think of a more positive change in one's life than to make the decision to transition and embrace who you really are."
Rachel's character is easily the special's best achievement, with her storyline delivered simply and to-the-point, without fanfare that usually problematizes trans identity more than normalizes it. In fact, Nickelodeon developed the character by consulting with GLAAD. Nick Adams, GLAAD's director of transgender representation, praised the creative team. "When I read the story outline, I was happy to see that Rachel's gender was treated as a non-issue by Rocko and his friends, and that Rachel's father finally realized that he loves and supports his daughter," Adams wrote. "I worked with the show's creators to ensure that Rachel was drawn in a respectful way, so that her femininity wasn't a joke. We also talked about how to portray the moment Rachel reveals her transition to the boys so that it wasn't sensationalistic."
Static Cling adds much-needed LGBTQ+ representation to the G-rated sphere of entertainment. Murray seamlessly embeds Rachel's storyline into a larger narrative about how we cope with both the perks and the ravages of the 21st century, which touts the fastest rate of technological and societal change since the Industrial Revolution—or maybe ever. "It felt natural," Murray said, "because it was not only about change, about somebody finding who they are and making that courageous choice to go through that change."
The special also features returning cast members Carlos Alazraqui as Rocko, Tom Kenny as Heffer, Mr. Lawrence as Filburt, and Charlie Adler as Mr. Bighead. As Nick Adams wrote, "Rocko's Modern Life: Static Cling tells a beautiful—and hilarious—story about accepting change. The younger characters accept Rachel immediately; recognizing she's still their friend. And while Rachel's father is slow to accept change within his own family, even he realizes that loving your child should be unconditional. This story of inclusion and acceptance is so needed in our current climate."
Ultimately, it's Static Cling's distinct '90's style of after-school-specials and fable-like morals that make its over-arching message palatable rather than self-righteous. Even if the world turns sideways and you're left feeling alienated from "too much change!" as Rocko screams at the bustling town that's left him behind, "We can't live in the past," as Mr. Bighead says. "We can be grateful for it, but life isn't permanent, and if we don't embrace what's now, we miss out on a lot of the important stuff."
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