Culture Feature

How Chris Pratt's Politics Affect Your Life

Whether liberal or conservative, Chris Pratt's politics are apparently the most important thing in the world...

Chris Pratt honoured with Star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, Los Angeles


Update 2/4/2021: This week Twitter got after Chris Pratt again, unearthing some lame but fairly innocuous "jokes" Pratt tweeted in 2012, and combining them with some fake screenshots of tweets in which he appears to defend the use of a racial slur and says "muslims scare me so much."

Among the evidence that the offensive tweets were less than legitimate is the fact that one of them shared the exact time, date, like and retweet count as one of the bad jokes it was shared alongside of. The fake tweets were reportedly spread by a member of a Marvel fan community, and were perhaps not intended to be taken seriously. Nonetheless, Twitter's rabid desire to cancel Chris Pratt kicked in, and soon #ripchrispratt was trending.

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Film News

Can Marvel Defeat the "Fantastic Four" Curse?

Will the MCU magic translate to the newly announced film, or are we in for another terrible Fantastic Four movie?

Fantastic Four | Official Teaser Trailer [HD] | 20th Century FOX

At Disney's 2020 Investor Day event, the media giant announced a huge slate of announcements involving Star Wars, Pixar, Disney+, and — of course — Marvel Studios.

Along with trailers for Loki — a series following Tom Hiddleston's Norse god of mischief — and the bizarre throwback sitcom Wandavision, Marvel announced plans for a movie starring "Marvel's first family," AKA the Fantastic Four. There's only one problem: Fantastic Four movies are always terrible.

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Win a Virtual Date With All Your Favorite Avengers—also, Jeremy Renner

Chris Evans' All In Challenge offers fans a chance to hang out with the stars of the Avengers movies (also Jeremy Renner)

In the latest—and maybe the most exciting—installment of the All In Challenge, Chris Evans (AKA Captain America) is offering a virtual hang out with himself and four of the other A-list celebrities who played the original Avengers.

And Jeremy Renner will also be there.

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"Men in Black: International" Has Everything But Jokes

They can do anything they want in visual effects now, but they can't write a funny script.

Will Smith made his last Men in Black film in 2012.

Since then, there have been lots of ideas for how to continue the franchise. The best idea was to recruit Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum from 21 Jump Street to become Men in Black. They couldn't work that out, but the idea of Men In Black lends itself to a new pair of agents having their own adventures. It wouldn't even preclude them from meeting Agents J (Will Smith) and K (Tommy Lee Jones) one day. Not the agents from Men in Black International, though. We don't ever want to see them again.

In 2016, Agents H (Chris Hemsworth) and High T (Liam Neeson) battled The Hive on top of the Eiffel Tower. Or rather, they're green screened into the scaffolding of the Eiffel Tower. 20 years ago, Molly saw her parents get neuralyzed, but she avoided the memory wipe herself and helped an adorable alien escape. She's spent her life looking for the Men in Black, and she'd be qualified as an adult (Tessa Thompson) if any of the government agencies like the FBI or CIA knew the Men in Black existed.

Molly's ambition could add to Men in Black: International a different dynamic than what J and K had. She finds the Men in Black herself and convinces them to make her Agent M. They can always neuralyze her if it doesn't work out. Then she impresses H and makes herself indispensable to him. In previous movies, Agent J mocked the whole operation, which worked for Will Smith, but M is a good role model to have in a 2019 Men in Black movie. Men In Black: International isn't really interested in M's ambition, and she and H just become generic buddy cops.

Men in Black International forgot to give H and M a dynamic. Oh, I just got that they're H & M. The movie doesn't play that up either. It's cast right; on paper, Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson should work. But they're not playing off each other. Agents J and K were the basic clown and deadpan straight man, because that's a comedy formula for a reason.

Instead, H is smug and swaggery, which Hemsworth can certainly play, but that's not a personality. Maybe if M kept up her ambition and got under H's skin, that would be something, but they ignore that once they're on the case. H razzes the alien Vungus (Kayvan Novak), but it's all made up insults about an alien physiology we've never seen before. How can we laugh about something they've just made up?

The only funny character is Pawny (Kumail Nanjiani), and he doesn't even show up until over an hour in. There are no zingers like, "I make this look good" or "It's raining black people." The name High T is a decent pun, and there are new celebrities identified as secret aliens, but you can only ride that joke so long. Agents M and O (Emma Thompson) have some amusing banter about the outdated gender norms of the name Men in Black, which almost goes somewhere and feels like dialogue Thompson probably punched up herself. When she's not in the scene, the movie is on its own.

At least Men in Black: International delivers on the international part. The movie goes to New York, London, Paris, and Marrakesh. This is the longest Men in Black movie, and it feels as long as its hour and 54-minute runtime. It tries to lead you to suspect H for so long when it's totally obvious which character you should really suspect.

They can do anything they want in visual effects now, but they can't write a funny script. Men in Black: International is loaded with more aliens, MIB gadgets, and firepower, but there aren't any jokes. When you don't have Will Smith to make up funny lines, you have to actually give the actors funny things to say.

In 1997, Men in Black had to be selective with its visual effects, so we probably only got to see the best ideas make it to screen. Now that Men in Black: International can have as many visual effects as a Marvel movie, it goes to show that Men in Black wasn't ever supposed to be a tentpole action franchise. Men in Black: International has a lot more set pieces, but none are anything we haven't seen before.

H and M have a gunfight with Alien Twins (Les Twins Laurent and Larry Bourgeois) wherein they shoot bigger guns, but it's the same destruction of a city block we see in every movie. H has a hand-to-hand fight in which he does the same flip over his opponent that every action hero does in every mainstream movie. They have high speed vehicular chases on green screens like the speeder bike chase in Return of the Jedi. Men in Black: International has nothing to add to the action/sci-fi genre.

What the Men in Black franchise had was comedy. It doesn't take a big budget to write comedy, but it's probably harder work. If Men in Black: International thought it could distract us from the lack of jokes, it was wrong. We noticed that we weren't laughing.


Best Full Frontal Male Nudity in Movies

These leading men bare it all, completely naked on the silver screen.

Six Pack

Photo by Calvin Shelwell on Unsplash

Let's hear it for the boys!

After all, sex sells. But more than that, humans just like seeing other humans naked. Nakedness shows us in our most natural forms, and it makes sense that we'd want to see the most attractive people among us without clothes on. So Hollywood delivers, giving us beautifully composed shots of beautiful people in their most natural states of beauty.

But also, they give us schlongs—a surprising number of schlongs, extensive schlongs. And that's what we're really here to discuss. Have you ever wondered what movies contain Hollywood's best weiners? Wonder no longer.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall - Jason Segel

While most movies use full frontal male nudity for shock value or comedic effect (and let's be frank, weiners are very funny), Forgetting Sarah Marshall takes their dick imagery a step further by using it for narrative impact. When protagonist Peter Bretter's (Jason Segel) long-term girlfriend of five years breaks up with him out of the blue, it's a massive blow to his self-esteem. He feels raw, completely unprepared, and fully exposed, both figuratively and literally, because she does this while he's not wearing pants.

The Hangover - Ken Jeong

2009's The Hangover did more than just skyrocket Bradley Cooper's and Zach Galifianakis's careers. It also gave the world Ken Jeong, who practically stole the movie with his turn as ruthless mob boss Mr. Chow. And no scene better embodies the sheer masculinity of Mr. Chow than the one where he bursts out from a car trunk completely naked, crowbar in hand (and by that we mean a literal crowbar, not a euphemism for his penis), and jumps on Bradley Cooper's face. What a crowbar! (This time, we do mean his penis.)

Watchmen - Dr. Manhattan

Watchmen's Dr. Manhattan may have transcended his humanity after being caught in a nuclear explosion, but he still retains his human anatomy. This means that he has fluorescent blue skin and a fluorescent blue weiner, which he displays in the cafeteria of his former workplace in all its big blue glory. He also begins dating his fellow superhero, Silk Spectre II, because of course big blue penises are somebody's fetish.

Shame - Michael Fassbender

Shame is a serious drama about a sex addict. As such, it's not exactly aiming to portray sex as sexy, but as compulsive, addictive, and borderline disgusting—except it kind of fails, because the sex addict is played by the very sexy Michael Fassbender, and in the name of realism, he can't exactly be clothed. Multiple times through the movie, Fassbender displays his fast bender, and while “fast bender" might be a nonsensical term for his weiner, you still knew exactly what it meant.

It Follows - It

While Michael Fassbender and Ken Jeong are certainly fine male specimens, nobody even comes close to the creature from It Follows, a monster that can take the form of any person as it just kind of leisurely walks towards you. So while it could presumably take the form of Michael Fassbender or Ken Jeong, it chooses instead to take the form of a naked old dude and stand on a residential rooftop, with its old dangling penis flapping in the wind. This is probably especially disturbing to the protagonist, Jay, as the old man in question happens to be her grandpa. And if there's one thing nobody wants to see, it's grandpa weiner.

Film News

Why Are 10 Superhero Films Coming Out in 2019?

Are superhero movies simply bad or a cultural pestilence?


Photo by Massimo Virgilio-Unsplash

Looking back at 2018, escapism in the cinema seems alive and well.

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