Melania Trump hates Christmas.

That's pretty much canon at this point after a phone call audio featuring Melania complaining about Christmas went public. "I'm working my ass off at Christmas stuff that you know, who gives a f**k about Christmas stuff and decoration? But I need to do it, right? Correct?" she said in an audio file leaked by her former friend Stephanie Winston Wokoff.

But after four years of seeing her decorations stain the White House in all their ominous, grim glory, are any of us really that surprised?

Recently, The Cut ranked Melania's decorations from most to least haunted. It gave 2018's blood-red Christmas trees the top spot; and truly, those were cursed. The particular shade of red was ominous against the bland carpets; images of Melania walking alone through them had something of a Little Red Riding Hood feel to them.

But this raises the question: is Melania Little Red Riding Hood or the wolf?

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The art of cinema has gifted us with myriad Christmas classics: Miracle on 34th Street, It's a Wonderful Life, White Christmas...

But after constant replay every year, watching those delightful classics is like looking at old family photographs – after one fond sigh of nostalgia, you're bored and just looking at people who are dead now.
On the other hand, every latchkey '90s kid can tell you that Christmas means sitting in front of the TV all day, watching the sitcom families that practically raised us experience holiday mayhem and mischief.
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Music Features

13 Christmas Songs for Nihilists and Weirdos

It's Christmas! That means it's time to alienate your friends, and make your children feel weird and disaffected! Right?

The holiday season is upon us!

It's Christmas! Time to start breaking out those old Christmas albums. Put on some Bing Crosby, some Mariah Carey, maybe even a little John and Yoko… if you're a normie that is. Who needs that kitschy, sentimental junk? For this Christmas, let's get weird. Here are thirteen songs for people whose relationship to the holiday season is… unconventional. Enjoy!

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MUSIC

The Top 20 Saddest Christmas Songs

Gather round the Christmas tree and get ready to cry!

saddest christmas songs

Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy, but sometimes you're not feeling the cheer.

Or maybe you just love sad music and want to get in the holiday spirit. Whatever your reason for listening to melancholy music, there are plenty of devastating Christmas songs to help you cozy up with a cup of spiked cider and the blues. From indie gems to old classics, are our favorites.

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Music Lists

The 6 Most Metal Christmas Songs Ever

There is no reason for Christmas not to be metal this year.

There is no reason for Christmas not to be metal this year.

As our collective 2020 anger and stress boil over, Christmastime can in no way shape or form be heartwarming or innocent this year. For those who will no doubt roll their eyes at the yearly Christmas anthems, why not give your Christmas a little sadistic flair to honor a sadistic year?

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Lindsey Stirling

Sydney Takeshta

Lindsey Stirling is a rare bird: A virtuosic violinist who managed to use her talents to crack the pop sphere.

The definition of multi-talented, Stirling's extraordinary aptitude for her instrument as well as her collaborations with countless iconic bands and her aptitude for pop culture have created an obsessive cult following for the artist.

Her star shines particularly bright during the holiday season. Three years ago, she released Warmer In The Winter, an album of holiday songs that was the #1 Christmas album of 2017. Every year since then, she's toured the world during this time of year, offering a plethora of magical holiday experiences for her millions of fans.

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