Original: James Jean - Fable #74

If you've watched BoJack Horseman, read recent Archie comics, or been rejected by someone who says they like you but your genitals gross them out, then you're familiar with asexuality⁠—but probably not as familiar as you think.

A 2019 poll found that 76% of those surveyed weren't able to accurately define asexuality, despite 53% of respondents asserting that they could.

And that's fine. I can barely do it after years of research, and according to modern definitions I'm a full-fledged "heteroromantic" "asexual," which, according to Dr. Google, places me among an estimated 1% of the population who are incapable of feeling sexually attracted to anyone, regardless of gender or sex. Or, as Stefani Goerlich explains in sex-therapist-speak, "Whereas heterosexuals are sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex, and homosexuals are attracted to folks of the same sex, asexuals are [sexually] attracted to nobody."

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MUSIC

These Famous Stars Hate Their Own Music

Jimmy Page isn't the only one who found his old songs cringe-worthy.

Legendary rocker Jimmy Page has had a lot to say over the years regarding Led Zeppelin's smash hit "Stairway to Heaven."

In 1988, the rocker told The New York Times that he'd "break out in hives" if he had to perform the song. Page has calmed down since then, but still confirmed to UCR yesterday that he simply "couldn't relate to the track anymore."

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LiveKindly

It's time to re-evaluate the age-old questions that have plagued society for time immemorial: How are celebrities so hot? How do they stay hot? Is it their wealth—if you sleep on a bed of money, do you never age?

If that were true, George Lucas (ranked America's wealthiest celebrity in 2018) wouldn't look like George Lucas. Or is it as Jane Fonda says: "Good genes and a lot of money?" After living in the age of celebrity tabloid culture, toxic diet culture, and Instagram, most people agree that it is largely determined by good genes—but also a good diet. As such, celebrities are said to follow such outlandish (and dangerous) eating patterns as the "baby food diet," "the cookie diet," and the "mushroom diet."

You could also go vegan, like many of the hottest and probably healthiest celebrities today. While we want to dissuade you from the misconception that veganism is merely a diet or a fad rather than a committed lifestyle, November 1 is World Vegan Day, which means that if you eat beef in public, you might an angry stare from the 11% of the world population who are thought to follow a vegan, vegetarian, or even semi-vegetarian lifestyle. In response, you can just glare at them defiantly and say, "Do you want me to look like 2018's 'most beautiful vegan,' Benedict Cumberbatch? No? I didn't think so." Actually, don't do that. They're likely to start listing the dozens of hot celebrities who are also vegan—and while many are activists to encourage public awareness about animal cruelty and the environmental ravages of meat production, we're mostly listing them because they're hot.

So in honor of World Vegan Day: Educate yourself that veganism is a lifestyle and not just a diet, meat production has many damaging consequences, veganism may be the "single biggest way" to reduce your carbon footprint (up to 73%), and while not all vegans are hot, luckily there are so many types of hot that showing empathy and compassion for creatures other than ourselves might be the hottest quality to have.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Of course we're starting here. In 2018, he was even named PETA's Most Beautiful Vegan.