MUSIC

The Bloodiest Bands of All Time

These guys are bats*it crazy, but it's Spooky Season after all!

Spooky season is upon us, and that means that it's time for us to pay respect to the bands and artists that genuinely terrify us.

The world of music is such a diverse and creatively open environment, which is both a gift and a curse. It's a gift in that self-expression, no matter how horrid, is (usually) welcomed with open arms, and it's a curse because self-expression, no matter how horrid, is (usually) welcomed with open arms. Let's take a look at the worlds spookiest musical acts and pay homage to those that have scarred us forever!

Slipknot

You can't talk about scary musicians without discussing the antics of Corey Taylor's 17-piece metal ensemble: Slipknot. Those spooky masks aside, the guys have all come clean about the absolutely bats*it things they've done as a band. From getting pissed on by two girls to huffing the scent of a jarred bird's corpse to get high on stage, these guys have a gauntlet of horror stories seemingly with no end. Also, let's not forget that they got into a fight using their own feces. Rock on guys, I guess.

Corey Taylor & Jason Christopher In-Studio with Jonesy

Back in 2017, Nickelback's irrelevant frontman Chad Kroeger decided to try to inject some life into the bloated corpse that is his career.

"How good can your music be if you've gotta beat each other up on stage, throw up in your mask every night?" Kroeger said of Slipknot, Nickelback's equally irrelevant "rival." Frontman Corey Taylor was quick to respond to the childish allegations and accurately described Kroeger as having "a face like a foot," adding that Nickelback is to rock "what KFC is to chicken."

Yesterday, Taylor stopped by Steve Jones radio show to clarify his statement. "Nickelback is the scapegoat of rock and roll," Taylor said. "However, they are passing the baton to Imagine Dragons right now, and I love it."

OHHHHH S**T!

"They're awful, so that's cool. And they're from Vegas, so I'm gonna go home to protest...people are slowly coming back to appreciate Nickelback and then just turning their irksome ire towards Imagine Dragons."

Again, while every band aforementioned has struggled for relevance since the early 2000s, we can't deny the truth behind Taylor's statements. Nickelback is equivalent to a chewy, stale breaded chicken thigh, and "Thunder" is probably the worst song to emerge in recent memory. I mean, it took a quartet to churn out a song that could have been made by a teenage boy on his iPad mini. Just use this awkward Jimmy Fallon performance as an example of how seriously these guys take themselves.

For your information, they say "thunder" over 70 times.

While the members of Imagine Dragons haven't responded to Taylor's criticisms, we really hope they do, but they're Mormons so they probably won't. Check out the full interview above, or you could go drink some water instead; the latter will probably have a better payoff.


Mackenzie Cummings-Grady is a creative writer who resides in the Brooklyn area, Mackenzie's work has previously appeared in The Boston Globe, Billboard, and Metropolis Magazine. Follow him on Twitter @mjcummingsgrady.


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