CULTURE

All the Best Coronavirus Memes to Keep You Laughing Through Quarantine

When your healthcare system is entirely broken, memes are the best medicine.

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

The COVID-19 pandemic may be one of the lowest points in modern human history, but it's definitely a high point for memes.

As it turns out, the more time we spend holed up in quarantine, the more time we have to spread stupid images of people hoarding toilet paper. During trying times like these, memes are more than jokes. Looking at the lighter side of things is more important than ever when trying not to spiral into depression, and given the current state of the world, that makes memes a borderline medical necessity.

Anyways, there are some great coronavirus memes out there, so if you're going to get infected with a horrible, potentially deadly virus, you might as well get infected with some laughter, too.

Toilet Paper Memes

Despite the fact that COVID-19 is primarily an upper-respiratory virus, people have been hoarding toilet paper like they're expecting dysentery.

That's not to say it's not a good idea to have extra toilet paper to last through a quarantine, but there are definitely more important things to consider. Like...food.

Also, buying more toilet paper than you actually need is incredibly selfish. One family can only sh*t so much.

So enjoy being surrounded by toilet paper as the world falls apart around you. At least you won't have a dirty butt.

Handwashing Memes

Aside from quarantine and social distancing, washing your hands is one of the primary defenses against coronavirus. It's of the utmost importance to learn how to do it properly.

For those of us who do wash our hands properly, dry hands will likely become the bane of our existence.

Also, don't forget to sanitize surfaces. Wipe down your doorknobs, light switches, countertops, etc. to avoid the spread of germs.

Oh, and any face mask other than an N95 respirator mask—which are only needed by medical professionals right now and are in short supply—isn't particularly useful against coronavirus. So stop buying up masks. They won't help you.

Introvert Memes

To some extent, the whole social distancing/quarantine shtick is kind of old hat for introverts.

If anything, it's the ultimate excuse for those of us who already dislike social interactions.

That's not to say that the pandemic is a good thing, but hey, might as well seek out the positives.

Quarantine Memes

For most people, though, quarantine is a massive disruptor to daily life. It's important to establish routines wherever we can to establish a new sense of normalcy.

The internet can allow us to maintain work relations and social interactions to avoid total isolation.

Although the unfortunate reality is that major life events for many people will still be disrupted and potentially ruined.

It's hard to consistently stay positive during a period as stressful as this one, so remember to prioritize self-care.

Even if your plans are ruined, there are plenty of ways to still have fun from home. Like video games. Or...

People Taking Coronavirus Seriously Memes

Ultimately, as much as we joke, coronavirus is ridiculously serious.

It's of the utmost importance that we stay home and stop traveling unnecessarily.

The American healthcare system is absolutely broken, and we need to make sure that the most at-risk people in our community are able to access the life-saving medical attention they require.

So while we continue to laugh at all the coronavirus memes, let's keep in mind that human lives are on the line and it's each of our responsibilities to do our parts in preventing the spread.

2020 Memes

Oh, and let's also not forget that 2020 can, and probably will, get a whole lot worse.

CULTURE

COVID-19 Marketing Emails Are the Newest Form of Art

You must be very concerned about what your favorite companies are doing during this global crisis.

Michael Förtsch via Unsplash

For most Americans, the COVID-19 pandemic has turned life as we know it upside down.

From school and restaurant closures to quarantines and social distancing, the American people are largely waking up to the fragility of our social systems. But for corporations, and especially marketing professionals, a new art form has emerged from amidst the chaos—the COVID-19 e-mail.

The COVID-19 e-mail, as an ideological concept, is quite simple. If major corporations are your friends, as American culture has attempted to establish time and time again, it follows that you must be very concerned about what they're doing during this global crisis. Sure, you might be a bit worried about how to feed your children when your paychecks aren't coming in and the schools are closed, but how could you sleep at night without knowing that Chipotle is safe? And yes, while it sucks that your grandpa might die without you even being able to enter his room for fear of spreading the virus to others, imagine how much more it would suck if GameStop didn't let you know what they were up to during these perilous times?

But fear not. All of your favorite corporations are right there in your e-mail inbox, detailing exactly what they're doing to prevent the coronavirus from spreading (short of shutting down while continuing to properly pay their employees).

Chipotle

While many Chipotle employees were upset that Chipotle was continuing to disregard sick leave laws even after the pandemic had already reached New York, Chipotle kindly assured us that their protocols were already "industry-leading." So even though it's scary that your significant other is coming down with an awful cough, hopefully knowing that Chipotle already supplied Purell sanitizer to their employees can take a hefty weight off your shoulders.

chipotle covid 19

GameStop

As an asthmatic, I think I can speak for all of us when I say that learning about GameStop's newly assembled "internal COVID-19 taskforce dedicated solely to this issue" is like aloe to the lingering burn of realizing that my compromised immune system makes dying a whole lot more likely. There's only so much that we can do to protect ourselves, so it's comforting to know that GameStop's "taskforce" is watching over everyone.

gamestop covid 19

TurboTax

As Benjamin Franklin once said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." Indeed, this deadly pandemic has arrived in the middle of tax season, so it makes sense that many of us have been waiting on pins and needles to hear from our good pal TurboTax. Happily, they are continuing to "closely monitor, assess and respond to this situation" and, by all accounts, are planning to stay functional as a business with products that exist entirely online. I was upset enough about my brother being homeless after his out-of-state college dorm closed down, so it's great to know that at least TurboTax has their sh*t together.

turbotax covid 19

Free People

Even while we're socially isolated, it's incredibly important for us to maintain our sense of community. After all, we're still a social species. Sadly, many of our human friends have been too ill or preoccupied with their lives falling apart to spend hours chatting online. There are few feelings quite as painful as wishing you could help the people you care about but knowing that doing so very well might make everything a whole lot worse. Free People understands this. "Whether you have questions about a pending order or shipment, where to find a coveted dress, or are simply looking for someone to talk to, we are always here for you," they promise. I hope that none of my loved ones die during all of this, but if they do, I'm genuinely grateful to know that Free People is there for me.

free people covid 19

Sephora

There's no reason that being stuck alone in your apartment needs to mean that you can't go all out. That said, if you want to keep your make-up supply stocked through an indefinite period of isolation, you're going to need to hit up Sephora while you still can. Yes, logically a company whose store model revolves around sampling shared display make-up should probably stop that practice for the good of literally everybody at the first sign of a global pandemic. But that's why Sephora wants you to know that they are "cleaning all display testers with disinfectant multiple times per day and replacing as needed." Who would Sephora be if not your fun, trendy friend who lives life on the wild side. If looking good means spreading just a little bit of coronavirus, so be it.

sephora covid 19

Schmackary's

Personal story: One time before human society started imploding, my girlfriend and I were walking around New York City and had a sudden craving for cookies. A quick Yelp search directed us to a nearby cookie shop called Schmackary's. While checking out, I entered my e-mail for their reward point system or something, thinking that if the cookies were good, I might come back at some point. I do live in New York, after all. In truth, I don't crave cookies often and, in time, I forgot about Schmackary's. But that's the thing about long lost friends; even after years, they were still a part of your life, and sometimes it's nice to have the peace of mind that, while the sky falls down around you, an old friend is doing okay. Even as I run out of food and worry about paying my rent, even as my loved ones fall ill around me, even as paranoia sets in, my heart is filled with joy thinking about how Schmackary's is going "above and beyond in order keep our bakery safe and clean."

schmackarys covid 19

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

It's easy to hate Matt Colvin, the hand sanitizer guy.

In the midst of a crisis, sometimes all we want is a bad guy to lash out at so we can unload all of our pent up fear, upset, and aggression. We want this bad guy to be a real cartoon villain, the type of immoral monster who we can feel good about attacking. We also want this bad guy to have a really punchable face. Enter Matt Colvin, the hand sanitizer guy.

Profiled by The New York Timesright as the fear over America's Covid-19 pandemic started to kick into full-swing, Matt Colvin is a "FAMILY MAN" (according to his stupid shirt) who spent three days at the beginning of March driving a U-Haul truck across Tennessee and Kentucky to buy up all the hand sanitizer and anti-bacterial wipes he possibly could. Then, after clearing out every "little hole-in-the-wall dollar stores in the backwoods" that he and his equally trash brother, Noah Colvin, came across, Matt listed everything on his Amazon store for an insane mark-up—up to $70 per bottle.

Matt Colvin, whose brain might be diagnosed as "literally melting" if medical professionals had the bandwidth to deal with anything other than the coronavirus right now, rationalized that he was fixing "inefficiencies in the marketplace" by selling hand sanitizer to parts of the country where people needed it most. "I honestly feel like it's a public service...I'm being paid for my public service."

The larger article follows the response to Colvin's actions, namely by Amazon, which pulled his listings (and later banned his account), and the Tennessee attorney general's office, which sent him a cease-and-desist letter and opened a case investigating his violation of a state price-gouging law that prohibits charging "unreasonable prices for essential goods and services, including gasoline, in direct response to a disaster."

By the end of the article, Matt—who concluded that if he couldn't sell his ill-begotten hoard online, he'd need to unload them locally—had a nearly fourth wall-breaking revelation: "I'm not looking to be in a situation where I make the front page of the news for being that guy who hoarded 20,000 bottles of sanitizer that I'm selling for 20 times what they cost me."

Frankly, it's hard to fathom why, if that were the case, Matt Colvin would have ever agreed to this interview. Perhaps his hubris and self-delusion is indicative of the very plight of humanity, we arrogant primates certain of our superior position in the universe right up until we're wiped out by a microscopic virus that looks like an off-brand suction cup ball.

Sure enough, almost immediately after The New York Times' article went live, Matt Colvin went from being a nameless douchebag scalping items from a storage unit to "that guy who hoarded 20,000 bottles of sanitizer that [he sold] for 20 times what they cost [him]" and, more importantly, a social pariah.

In a follow-up interview the day after publication, Matt Colvin cried to The New York Times. After his name trended on Twitter, he became the subject of mass public outrage. He was promptly doxxed and inundated with death threats. Amazon and Ebay both suspended his accounts (which were apparently his livelihood, through which he made over $100,000 per year scalping various items). The storage facility he rented space from to store his items kicked him out. "It was never my intention to keep necessary medical supplies out of the hands of people who needed them," he said. "That's not who I am as a person. And all I've been told for the last 48 hours is how much of that person I am."

Now, under active investigation by the state of Tennessee, Matt Colvin is being forced to donate all of his remaining hand sanitizer.

On one hand, it's very hard to feel bad for Matt Colvin. No bones about it, the guy is a steaming, albeit presumably very sanitized, piece of human sh*t who has brought the hatred of a nation upon himself entirely through his own intentional, despicable actions. We're talking about a man who, drunk on a cocktail of stupidity and selfishness, potentially put countless needy lives at risk to profit off of a pandemic.

But at the same time, one has to wonder—Why is it so easy to hate Matt Colvin, but most people don't get nearly as angry about the CEOs who do similar things on a much wider scale?

Sure, it makes sense to hate Matt Colvin—a random, seemingly very stupid man in Tennessee being a selfish d*ck right now by trying to profit off of the coronavirus. But why don't we also hate Ian C Read, the former CEO and current chairman of American pharmaceutical giant Pfizer, under whom the company increased their prices on 100 medications in 2018, far outpacing US inflation. Undoubtedly, Ian C Read's price gouging targeting people in medical crisis has damaged far more lives than Matt Colvin. But is Ian C Read getting targeted with public outrage? This man has made at least 219 million dollars, at least in part by profiting off human suffering. Is anyone even looking his way?

Worse, Ian C Read is just one example. Look at any American pharmaceutical company that has hiked up necessary, life-saving medications to outlandish prices. Google their CEO. Why don't you despise them nearly as much as you despise Matt Colvin? Is it because they're wearing suits?

The point here isn't that Matt Colvin deserves sympathy. He's a horrid grifter whose selfishness outs himself as unfit for a functioning society. The point is that he's a symptom of a much larger problem, and that if we're going to go after him, we might as well go after all the wealthy, powerful CEOs who are much, much, much worse.

Ghen Cô Vy| NIOEH x K.HƯNG x MIN x ERIK | WASHING HAND SONG | CORONA SONG

While COVID-19 may be the harbinger of the apocalypse, at least for global stock markets, that doesn't mean it can't also be the inspiration for some super catchy tunes.

As it turns out, one of the primary preventative measures we can take in combatting the spread of coronavirus is washing our hands. Unfortunately, it just so happens that most of us have no idea how to actually wash our hands properly. In fact, according to a 2013 study, only 5% of people know how to wash their hands effectively—a process that involves scrubbing your hands for at least 20 seconds with soap before rinsing with water. But if people can't figure out how to perform an action as simple and basic as washing their hands, how can we possibly hope to prevent the spread of infectious diseases?

Enter Vietnam. Yes, the whole country. Well, kind of. Vietnam's National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health teamed up with lyricist Khắc Hung to release a coronavirus-oriented cover of the V-Pop song "Ghen" by singers Erik and Min. The resulting hybrid pop song, "Ghen Cô Vy," teaches you how to wash your hands the right way while also being really, really, ridiculously catchy.

www.youtube.com

But the fun doesn't end with just just a catchy song, oh no. The true beauty of "Ghen Cô Vy" wasn't fully realized until dancer Quang Đăng released an accompanying dance. Only then could the song truly go...viral.

Generally speaking, people are much more likely to build essential habits if those habits are somehow gamified.

Whether it's getting a sticker on a chart every time you brush your teeth or gaining experience in an app every time you run a mile, gamification has the potential to make not fun things, well, kind of fun. That's where the real genius of Đăng's corresponding Instagram post comes into play. See, not only do Đăng's smooth dance moves mimic the actions of proper hand-washing, but he invites other people to join him in a dance challenge.

By laying out the necessary "dance" moves and encouraging others to share their own versions, Đăng effectively teaches people exactly how to do the basic thing they should be doing in the first place if they don't want to actively spread diseases. The full "game rules" are as follows, because, you know, they're kind of important:

"Game rules: You perform the dance of the song Ghen Co Vy with 6 hand washing movements as recommended by the World Health Organization and the Ministry of Health...Take this challenge or share the following epidemic prevention habits:

1. Wash your hands often with soap or an antiseptic solution.
2. Do not put hands on eyes, nose and mouth.
3. Regularly clean personal hygiene, hygiene of utensils, houses and surroundings.
4. Wear a mask to go to public places, on vehicles or when you are sick.
5. Self-awareness to improve health for themselves, the family and the community.
6. People with symptoms of COVID-19 have high fever, cough, shortness of breath, etc. or close contact with infected person / person suspected of COVID-19 and limit contact with other people and contact local health facilities."

Đăng's efforts have been a massive success, with the song quickly becoming a worldwide phenomenon, especially on TikTok where people have been actively spreading their own interpretations of the "coronavirus song." One can only hope that the song's popularity translates to an uptick in improvement of actual hand-washing techniques because, really guys, it's not that hard.

Currently in the US, president Donald Trump is doing everything in his power to deny the severity of the coronavirus crisis. That leaves it to us, as informed citizens, to prioritize the safety of ourselves and the people around us and to make sure we're doing everything in our power to avoid spreading a deadly disease to the immunocompromised people in our communities. So listen to "Ghen Co Vy," and take it to heart. Then make sure to wash your hands many times every day.