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I Was Brave Enough To Watch The Bachelor

Is The Franchise Really Back?

Okay let’s just start off by saying that I do unironically enjoy Love Island.I love the chaos, the characters, and shameless self-promotion. Every season, two people on average fall in love while the rest compete for screen time to land brand deals. Isn’t all drama better served in a British accent?

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TV Features

Maybe Love Is Blind—But It Doesn't Happen Within 30 Days

Can you truly know you love someone within the span of a few weeks?

Netflix

After my last serious relationship, I decided to "put myself out there" again and downloaded Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid.

Being an active user on all these platforms solidified to me how different the dating scene is nowadays. Most of it is due to technology and our social media culture, which has definitely made us a bit more narcissistic, fake, and even cold-hearted. Romance in this day and age is pretty much dead—and, without a doubt, so is chivalry. Only two of my most recent 20 dates opened a door for me, so now I go on dates with zero expectations. Most of these guys just want to hook up, thinking a first date and a couple drinks warrants the perfect opportunity to proposition me.

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TV

‘The Bachelorette’ Episode 4 Recap: The Beast Jumped Out.

Could Luke P. be the Beast to Hannah's Belle? We hope not.

At this point, no one can truly predict what's to come this season, but Luke P, resident psycho of the season, really could slither his way into Hannah's heart. Since Courtney Robertson, no villain has been so close to winning the affections of the lead.

Leaving the mansion for Newport, Rhode Island our expectations were low. Somehow, for two weeks straight, the men brought it. They've been the voice of reason, emoting exactly what Bachelor nation feels.

One-on-One: Jed is really a Jeb

Fake news floated throughout Jed's one-on-one date: Hannah filled the void of conversation with made-up facts about Boston, they ate pints of Halo Top in fifty-degree weather, and Jed claimed the Celtic's Terry Rozier and Jaylen Brown are two of the best players in the NBA.

All that aside, Hannah's first verbal fumble of the season made audiences cringe, as she tried five times to remember the quotation, "taxation without representation," foreshadowing the crap to come.

Their Boston date should've been perfect: they strolled through the city, drank at Cheers!, and played basketball at TD Garden with two pros. Yet, the date felt wasted.

Most likely, Hannah could've had just as much fun with any other guy. They kissed, and then kissed some more when Jed made a hook shot. Really, Jaylen Brown stole the show.

The two Browns hit it off, with the 22-year-old offering sound advice that Hannah should choose, "somebody who's there for the rough times and the good times … somebody's who's going to accept you for your flaws and your beauty."

Cut-to the evening, where Jed admitted to Hannah he actually came on the show because he knew it was a huge platform for exposure and a great opportunity for his career. Hannah came packing with one hard-hitting question, asking, "How can you go from this is an opportunity to marriage?"

He responded, "it's beyond a show at this point."

She glowed, hearing exactly what any woman would want to hear. Dropping the issue a little too quickly, Jed received a red rose but the audience saw a red flag.

Group Date: Meat-Fest

The group dates this season have been physically demanding, featuring injuries and hard falls. Last night was no different: the men met at Fort Adams to suit up and play rugby.

What Hannah considers sexy is a man in his purest, masculine form. "Blood, sweat, and tears!" she cheered, repeatedly, in a concerning manner. She also repeatedly claimed she wanted no one to get "hurt," but really, the harder the hitting, the better and hotter for Hannah.

The convincing neanderthal, Luke P., got a little too into the game, claiming he "would do anything for Hannah." Kevin, unfortunately, dislocated his shoulder, which Hannah only kind of cared about because she only kind of cares about Kevin.

The Beast really jumped out, roaring with male energy that fueled Luke P.'s inner caveman fire. The now infamous smack-down occurred when Luke P. lifted Luke S. to flip him, throwing him to the ground and, reportedly, kneeing him in the face. Luke S., who I shall call Mousey Luke because he looks like a mouse in a suit, was pissed off, rightfully so. Luke tried to apologize, but Mousey Luke would not have it.

Hannah wasn't having it either. She called Luke out on his frustrating ways, to which he responded by lying and turning the attention towards Mousey Luke, accusing him of only being on the show to promote his tequila business. Diverting from the real problem, the rumor soon took root in Hannah's mind.

The issue gave Hannah a good reason to side with Luke since she already doesn't really like Mousey Luke. When questioned about the matter, Mousey Luke didn't respond well, irritated again by the lies and psychopathy Luke disguises as evidence.

The other men didn't take kindly to this either, especially when Luke tried to clarify what happened. In defense, Luke declared he didn't know what happened because it was all a blur. He then articulated exactly what he believed occurred, demonstrating the threat Luke poses to the group and everyone's safety. Everyone was distressed by Luke's presence, many were concerned, while others were just fed up he devoured their time with Hannah.

Instead of feeding into the drama, Garrett and Peter tried to take Hannah's mind off it by focusing on their individual relationships. The rest was noise, especially as Hannah and Peter made out, heavily, sensually on a couch.

Hannah evidently appreciated this, rewarding Garrett with the evening's rose, to the dismay of adorable Pilot Pete.

One-on-One: A Turning Point

Hannah Brown's facade was tired. She was meant to be on a date with Tyler C, but her mind was consumed by Luke.

Defying the show's format, Hannah admitted her relationship with Luke was the strongest thus far which made her question her own judgment.

Unable to plaster on her winning Alabama smile, she was up-front with Tyler C; she didn't want to be there. Instead of folding to her will, he stepped up, demonstrating exactly what Jaylen Brown told her to look for in a man, someone willing to be there for her highs and lows.

Tyler C. reassured her, saying, "I'll take whatever I can get, I want you in your highs and lows. I want to be the man on your side at the end of this and I think I can show you that today."

With another manly date in store, the two excitedly fished together. A real connection was visible on screen as he continued to cheer her up. The reality of life and the ability to be there for one another transcended the situation. There, unlike with Jed, their date went beyond the show. The way they joked with each other, being punny and funny, proved their real-life compatibility.

In the evening, Hannah posed a question to Tyler C., "Why are you really on the show?" Unexpectedly, his "big time griller, big time chiller" persona was set aside. He divulged his father almost died two months before the show, spending 25 days in the hospital with 10 in a coma. Tyler C. was reluctant to go on the show, but his father reassured him while watching The Bachelor together that Hannah's his girl.

He didn't believe it until he got out of the limo. Tyler C. recounted that for the first time in his life, he clutched his heart when he saw Hannah. Elated, she remembered that moment and through the TV, anyone could see the sparks fly. To viewers, the sky cleared and the stars aligned for them to meet.

Hannah admitted she was wary of him, believing he was a player. He smoothly retorted, "I'm here for Hannah, not the bachelorette." Tyler C. was there for the little jitters she gave him, knowing, "the world could be ours." Hannah gave Tyler C. his rightful rose, which should've been the end to a perfect date.

Instead, they celebrated with a private concert. Jake Owen had the live audience cheering and the couple kissing, giddy.

The Cocktail Party: Send The Lukes Home, Pls

The evening began with a dragged out, pointed toast about love and honesty. Thankfully, Pilot Pete swooped in to begin the evening on a soothing note. He wanted to "keep the momentum going" by sweetly asking her to be his girlfriend. The innocent, but cheeky moment was refreshing, especially when Hannah exclaimed, "Peter's my boyfriend!"

While the momentum did build, it was unfortunate because of the Luke drama. The rest of the evening could've been edited down to a two-on-one and no one would have noticed.

Mike, being the no-bs man of the season, informed Luke he's "the cause of her being unhappiest right now."

"Actually… no," Luke excused himself, failing to be accountable in the pettiest of ways.

The word psychopath was hurled at Luke, finally, to his face. Someone on production gave Luke their phone because, in the meme-able confessional, Luke read the definition of a psychopath, shoving the phone towards the camera to prove his point.

Mousey Luke attempted to redeem himself with Hannah to no avail. He tried another tactic, asking Luke to admit to Hannah he was incorrect about Mousey Luke's intentions. The male ensemble resoundingly agreed, especially Garrett who attempted to get through to Luke.

Being the psycho he must be, Luke began the conversation with, "I know this has been an emotional week… for the BOTH of us."

The awful start got worse when he bitched to Hannah that Mousey Luke told him to lie to her and say he's here for the right reasons.

Hannah obviously did not take that lightly and began the he-said-he-said merry-go-round.

When Mousey Luke discovered Luke's bullshit, he was astounded. When all was finally revealed to the group, every reaction was phenomenal. Dylan added the cherry on top, serving as the national mouthpiece, "I've never disliked someone more in my entire life."

The two Lukes stared at each other and the show cut-out to NEXT WEEK ON THE BACHELORETTE…

Safe to say the whole nation gasped.

MUSIC

Filipa's "I'd Rather be Single" Video is a Dose of Satire and Self-Empowerment

Filipa mocks dating game shows and delivers an anthem of self-respect.

South African pop artist, Filipa, first soared to international recognition by winning a cover song competition on Ryanseacrest.com.

Her rendition of One Direction's "Story of My Life" showcased her powerful voice and dynamic emotional range. Winning this contest not only bolstered her popularity in South Africa, but it also granted Filipa the platform she needed to focus on releasing original songs. From there, she released her debut single, "Chills," to critical acclaim and followed it up with "Little White Lie," which rocketed up the iTunes charts and dominated South African airwaves. Now, with the release of her new music video, "I'd Rather be Single," Filipa looks to expand her reach beyond South Africa.

The video begins with Filipa and a friend, lazing on the couch, watching TV. Filipa is visibly upset over a boy who, we find out, is not returning her texts. With a mouthful of popcorn, the friend advises Filipa to get rid of him, and just as Filipa is about to explain why she keeps him around, the other woman interrupts her because one of her favorite shows comes on. The show in question is a parody of those vapid dating game shows that dominated the mid-'90s and early aughts (think MTV's Singled Out). A different version of Filipa appears as the object of affection for which three cheesy dudes are to compete.

The rest of the video is a seamless blend of skits in which Filipa asks the contestants questions, and they give comically disconcerting answers and footage of the how the show farcically plays itself out to the music.

In a written statement Filipa said, "The dating world is so strange and demanding these days, which makes it hard to find that special someone who understands you, supports you and treats you right […] A lot of people stay in relationships in hopes of the other person changing or finally being the type of person they deserve, which starts to become taxing on their own happiness and leads to more tension and heartbreak down the line. I think knowing your worth and respecting yourself first is the key to being happy in and out of a relationship."

"I'd Rather be Single" is a refreshingly positive anthem of self-empowerment that is all too rare in pop music – hopefully this universally salient message resonates with audiences far and wide.

Filipa - I'd Rather Be Single (Official Music Video)youtu.be



Dustin DiPaulo is a writer and musician from Rochester, New York. He received his MFA in Creative Writing from Florida Atlantic University and can most likely be found at a local concert, dive bar, or comedy club (if he's not getting lost somewhere in the woods).


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