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Reese Witherspoon Is…Dating Tom Brady?

In the words of Elle Woods: “I’m sorry. I just hallucinated.”

Here’s a headline that you probably didn’t have on your 2023 bingo card: Tom Brady and Reese Witherspoon are allegedly dating, according to Deuxmoi. First of all, the fact that our modern-day Gossip Girl is breaking this kind of juicy tea is insanity…but-wait-what?!? Reese only announced her divorce from Jim Toth on March 24.

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On February 1, 2022, Tom Brady announced his retirement from the NFL. His retirement lasted…all of 40 days. Brady went on to play another season with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, got divorced from wife Gisele Bundchen, and was ultimately eliminated from playoff contention in the Wild Card Round.

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Crypto Bros Down - And Larry David, Tom Brady, and Gisele Are Getting Sued

Just what is the FTX Scandal? The collapse, bankruptcy, class action lawsuit, and the controversy - Explained

Larry David, FTX Superbowl Commercia

FTX via YouTube

The tech industry's having a tough time. Only months ago, those who were bragging about their hot tech jobs and (seemingly) hyper-performing Crypto portfolios are probably screaming, crying, gnashing their teeth, and throwing up. And they may or may not be unemployed.

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Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Camp: Notes on Fashion, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 06 May 2019

Stephen Lovekin/BEI/Shutterstock

Updated 10/4/22

Page Six has just reported that Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen have indeed hired divorce lawyers after weeks of speculation surrounding their relationship. Gisele and the children have not been seen at any of Tom's games this season, and rumors have swirled about growing tensions between the two.

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Leonardo DiCaprio at the 92nd Annual Academy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 09 Feb 2020

John Salangsang/BEI/Shutterstock

Updated: September 15, 2022

Did I not warn everyone below that this was happening? Was anyone listening? Yesterday, Page Six reported that Leonardo DiCaprio saw that chart and decided to skew the data by dating 27 year old Gigi Hadid.

The reports began flooding in yesterday morning that the two were "spending time together" during New York Fashion Week...and then later that day they were officially a couple. What I see here is that Zayn Malik is now single.

Gigi Hadid, the coolest supermodel ever, dating Leonardo DiCaprio just mere seconds after he broke up with Camila. It's all a bit too much for me. I don't know how to feel but I'm still convinced Leo is up to no good.

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