MUSIC

Phoebe Bridgers Debuts New Song “Halloween” and More, Discusses New Album

Another new song, "Kyoto," is all about astrology, chemtrails, and sadness, and we'd expect nothing less.

Phoebe Bridgers, the astrology-loving wunderkind who solidified her place in indie folk royalty with 2017's Stranger In the Alps, is officially at work on her second album.

"The production is totally different to my first record. People still kind of think of me as like a folk artist, but on the first record, I truly was deferring to other people to produce me," she said. "I basically had these country folk songs. [On the new record] I do a little bit of screaming on what we've recorded so far."

Bridgers has had a busy few years. After a stint opening for Julien Baker, she joined the supergroup Boygenius (with Baker and fellow indie rocker Lucy Dacus), and the trio released an EP. Then she formed a duo with Bright Eyes frontman Conor Oberst called Better Oblivion Community Center, and the two released their debut last year.

She's been pretty quiet about her solo work, but this week she debuted a total of four new songs at various performances. These songs are called "Halloween," "Kyoto," "Garden Song," and "Graceland Too," as far as we know. Bridgers is an incredibly talented lyricist, and these songs show her interweaving modern themes like conspiracy theories and astrology with characteristically devastating refrains.

Phoebe Bridgers - Halloween (Live Debut) [2019] www.youtube.com

While we don't have a date for the next album, judging by these songs, it'll be worth the wait.

boygenius - "Salt In The Wound" (Live at WFUV) www.youtube.com

Jack White almost became a priest.

But then again, did he? The iconic rocker has regularly beguiled the press. "I'd got accepted to a seminary in Wisconsin," he told 60 Minutes Mike Wallace back in 2005 in what seemed like a moment of genuine candor. "At the last second, I thought, 'I'll just go to public school."

Whether you believe that story or not, the blues-rock polymath, who turns 45 today, has led an undeniably punk life and crafted some of the most sacred rock music in history. Two decades after The White Stripes' self-titled debut, Jack White has remained purposefully slippery with the public. He told publications that he and Meg White, his then-wife and White Stripes-cohort, were the youngest of ten siblings and claimed that his label, Third Man Records, used to be a candy company, among other outlandish claims.

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Deviant Art

We are witnessing a rare alignment.

A momentous confluence of events is upon us—one that has only occurred once before in history, and which we will not see again for some time. The media wants to distract you with other stories, about Candy Corn, Kanye West, Donald Trump, and other figures whose prominence pales in comparison to today's true icon.

They are afraid. Terrified of losing control—of the power this event will wield to reshape our entire society. But I refuse to hide it from you. I have a duty to inform the public. Yesterday was National Cat day. Tomorrow is Halloween. Today, Wednesday, is widely known as hump day. These three facts add up to one unavoidable conclusion: It's officially Sexy Garfield Costume Day.

You're probably overwhelmed to have this occasion so suddenly brought to your attention, and you may not know quite what to do. Please remain calm, while I break down the best ways to make your celebration worthy of the moment, and memorable enough to tide you over until the next alignment in 2024.

Dress for Success

Deviant Art

You are no amateur in the world of cosplay: the hair, the make up, the tail. You have an eye for detail, and with this look you can bring all those subtle touches together to create a look that says, "I'm a hungry kitty, and I'm ready to pounce on the next hot dish that walks in the room."

Face Paint

Laura Jenkinson

Ooh, that sultry smile. The cool confidence. The bedroom eyes. Who wouldn't want to lock lips with Garfield? If you won't have the time or the resources to put together a more elaborate tribute to Jim Davis's sexiest creation, this minimalist face paint approach should be just the trick to put you and your favorite kissing partner in the mood to really celebrate. Bonus points if you give yourself lasagna breath.

Body Paint

Twitter

If you've already bought the orange paint, but you find yourself with a bit more time on your hands, why not go all out? This is the perfect approach if you don't have a Pooky to cuddle or an Arlene in your nightstand but you can't handle the thought of spending another Sexy Garfield Costume Day as the lonely Jon in the corner at the sexy-Garfield-costume party. With this look, you can show off your assets and your artistic talent all at once, which is sure to win you the companionship you crave on this, the sexiest of holidays.

Just the Mask, Ma'am

You're not the kind of person who's looking to buck conventions or break the mold. Your tastes steer toward the simple and straightforward. You like your beer light, your Mondays distant, and your sexy Garfield costumes classic. This mask pairs beautifully with a red one-piece swimsuit, for a look that's known as "Pam Bod, Garf Head," but it can also be worn with a speedo, or a leather daddy ensemble, and the anonymity it provides will be sure to unlock your inhibitions and tap you directly into Garfield's raw sexual energy for a night you'll be sure to remember for the rest of your nine lives.

Full Body

Halloween Costumes

You know yourself, you love yourself, and you welcome the rest of the world to love you as much as it loves Garfield. You probably celebrated Sexy Garfield Costume Day back in 2013, and this time around you want to take what you've learned and fully embrace the spirit of the event. There's nothing overtly sexual about this costume—other than the fact that it's Garfield—but you bring the energy that makes this look as hot as a fresh Garfield-shaped pizza. The belly comes with some extra cushion for any of the pushin' you might want to do, and while the costume leaves only your face exposed, there's nothing to stop you from cutting a couple more holes and really multiplying the functionality.

Lose Yourself

You've never done something like this before… You don't usually make a big deal about your sexuality, but something is compelling you to try something new… So why be your usual self when you can be someone better, bolder, sexier. Become the consummate hedonist who knows what he wants and goes after it. Leave your worries and your doubts behind, and become Garfield. With this costume you are guaranteed to do things you never thought possible, but do keep in mind that what happens in the suit stays in the suit, so make sure you have a good dry cleaner in your area before you commit.

Side Characters

Not everyone is a Garfield-type. Is your sexual energy a bit more hyperactive? You're definitely an Odie. Are you into being cucked and humiliated? Change your name to Jon Arbuckle. Or are you an oddly phallic lipstick monster? Welcome to the party, Arlene. If you open yourself up to the entire universe of Garfield canon, you will certainly find your sexual spirit animal and make the most of this historic occasion.

Innovate

This is only the second time in history that the world has celebrated Sexy Garfield Costume Day, and the possibilities are endless. Don't let yourself be constrained by anyone else's idea of sexy Garfield. Take inspiration from the copious fan creations on the Deviant Art, or from your favorite sexy Garfield merchandise, the world is your oyster, and oysters are a cat's favorite aphrodisiac.