Music Features

The Dark Implications of Calling Harry Styles the "Consent King"

The complicated connotations of a well-intended nickname, brought to you by "Watermelon Sugar."

This week, Harry Styles gifted us with the closest thing we'll get to human contact and summer shindigs for the foreseeable future: his long-awaited music video for "Watermelon Sugar."

Hardly the first sexed-up video to come from Styles, "Watermelon Sugar" shows the former One Direction heartthrob on the beach among a crew of beautiful women as they enjoy the titular fruit, the sunshine, and each other's close company. A song full of sexual innuendos deserves an equally steamy video to match, of course, and Styles has gone so far as to dedicate the "Watermelon Sugar" video to touching.

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The world is up against a seemingly insurmountable threat, but luckily, we've got a crack team of heroes on the case.

Sure, there's already the girl with super strength, the guy who can fly, and the anthropomorphic, trash-talking animal tailor-made for merchandise. But this is a threat of intergalactic proportions, and we're going to need all the help we can get if we want to survive.

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We're entering week one bajillion and two of social distancing, meaning many people haven't felt the warm touch of another human being in a very long time.

Some days that feels pretty manageable–enjoyable, even. After all, why shave in quarantine? Your cat isn't going to mind rubbing up against your cactus-calf in bed. But on other days, like the days we watch Normal People on Hulu or the day Jake Gyllenhaal posted that video where he tried to put a shirt on while upside down, it's excruciating.

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