Disney's Live-Action "Peter Pan" Will Be Great Because Animation Is for Babies
Animation is lame and live-action is awesome.
Everybody loves Disney live-action remakes.
In a world plagued by racism, disease, and a seemingly endless bounty of spiraling misfortune, at least we can all agree that Disney knocks it out of the park every time they dredge up an old, animated movie for a live-action makeover because cartoons are for babies.
Sure, some of us thought the original Beauty and the Beast was fine, but could lame, 2D Belle ever hold a candle to 3D Emma Watson? And yeah, the original Lion King was okay, I guess, but there's nobody in the world who preferred cartoon Scar's rendition of "Be Prepared" to the incredible feat of getting a real lion to sing it in the live-action remake.
Being a Disney fan can be hard sometimes, as you have fond memories of beloved childhood movies but also don't want people to make fun of you for liking cartoons. That's why, out of all the corporations in the world, Disney is undoubtedly the most selfless, willing to spend hundreds of billions of dollars to bring their old, outdated movies into the modern age—all for the fans.
Most recently, Disney has announced that they're preparing for a brand new live-action remake of their 1953 animated classic, Peter Pan. We did the math. It turns out that 1953 took place at least 30 years ago, so you could say it's about time!
Weirdly enough, there are two other live-action Peter Pan movies—the Robin Williams-starring Hook from 1991 and another one from 2003 that's just titled Peter Pan. Nobody knows any of the actors in the latter; but, more importantly, neither of these other two movies were made by Disney. Frankly, it speaks volumes to Disney's impeccable character that they didn't sue for copyright infringement, considering Walt Disney personally created the character of Peter Pan for the original animated movie.
Well, the word is out now, and it seems that Disney didn't need to sue either of those other Peter posers because they have a way better live-action Peter Pan in the works, this time co-written and directed by David Lowery of Pete's Dragon fame. And if Disney's live-action track record is anything to go by, this new Peter Pan & Wendy will be the one, true, definitive Peter Pan.
Admittedly, as fun as it might have been to watch the original Peter Pan as a child, any movie from 1953 is going to have its fair share of outdated materials.
Notably, the original Peter Pan featured a character who looked like this. Fair warning, the following image might be a little traumatizing:
Yeah, that's supposed to be Captain Hook: the handsome, roguish sea villain whom viewers everywhere naturally want to emulate. The character's facial proportions are ridiculously unrealistic, and it's horrifying to think that children growing up in the 1950s might have felt self-conscious about not having gigantic chins themselves.
Thankfully, Disney is aiming to fix these impossible body standards in the new movie, allegedly casting regular-sized chin actor Jude Law to play Captain Hook instead of a different actor with a more massive chin. Finally, people watching Peter Pan will be able to turn to regular-looking Jude Law for an attainable model of what their bodies should look like.
Hopefully Peter Pan & Wendy will address some of the other pressing issues from the original, too, like the fact that the Crocodile acts way too silly. Disney's trainers will need to make sure that whatever crocodile they cast for the live-action version knows how to act natural and not be a scene-stealing goofball.
Whether it's adding a great new song in Aladdin about female empowerment for Jasmine to sing right before getting wrecked by Jafar, or hiring a white, female director to bring some much-needed authenticity to Mulan, Disney always knows how to bring their outdated animated movies into the modern era. They seem to get better each and every time, so we can't wait to see what Disney has in store with the new live-action Peter Pan!
