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If you're still nursing body image issues from your days of playing with Barbie's but are comforted by the fact that they're just plastic dolls, book a therapy appointment.

Barbie will soon be a living, breathing, perfect woman! It was announced Tuesday that Margot Robbie — a cruelly beautiful actress with a glorious Australian accent — has signed on to play Barbie in an upcoming live action film about the iconic doll.

Robbie will also co-produce the film, issuing a statement, "Playing with Barbie promotes confidence, curiosity, and communication throughout a child's journey to self-discovery. Over the brand's almost 60 years, Barbie has empowered kids to imagine themselves in aspirational roles from a princess to president. I'm so honored to take on this role and produce a film that I believe will have a tremendously positive impact on children and audiences worldwide. I can't imagine better partners than Warner Bros and Mattel to bring this film to the big screen."

While our own memories of playing with Barbie revolve more around impulsively chopping off her hair and using her as a naked, jointed-cudgel against siblings, we suppose confidence-building isn't out of the realm of possibilities for Barbie's uses.

Ynon Kreiz, Chairman and CEO of Mattel, said in a statement about the movie, "Barbie is one of the most iconic franchises in the world and we are excited to partner with Warner Bros. Pictures and Margot Robbie to bring her to life on the big screen." He added, "We look forward to building on this collaboration with Warner Bros. Pictures as we tell the stories of our beloved brands. Mattel Films is on a path to demonstrate the enormous potential of our brand portfolio, as we continue to execute on our strategy of transforming Mattel into an IP-driven, high performing toy company." We can only hope that the "enormous potential of their brand portfolio" will include a live action film about that baby doll that does nothing but wet itself. These are the pressing narratives we need in this tumultuous moment in history.

Interestingly, Barbie was originally supposed to be played by Amy Schumer. In December 2016, ET announced that "the plot would involve Barbie getting kicked out of Barbieland for not being 'perfect enough,' and her then embarking on an adventure in the real world." But since people are broken and evil by nature, and even more so on the internet, Schumer immediately faced body shaming from people who felt she wasn't slim enough to play the doll. She later announced she was no longer going to be a part of the movie, "because of scheduling conflicts."

Now, it's clear that Mattel and Warner Bros., by casting Robbie, are taking a very different approach to the movie. We imagine the meeting to make that casting decision went something like this SNL skit:

Brooke Ivey Johnson is a Brooklyn based writer, playwright, and human woman. To read more of her work visit her blog or follow her twitter @BrookeIJohnson.

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