Original: James Jean - Fable #74

If you've watched BoJack Horseman, read recent Archie comics, or been rejected by someone who says they like you but your genitals gross them out, then you're familiar with asexuality⁠—but probably not as familiar as you think.

A 2019 poll found that 76% of those surveyed weren't able to accurately define asexuality, despite 53% of respondents asserting that they could.

And that's fine. I can barely do it after years of research, and according to modern definitions I'm a full-fledged "heteroromantic" "asexual," which, according to Dr. Google, places me among an estimated 1% of the population who are incapable of feeling sexually attracted to anyone, regardless of gender or sex. Or, as Stefani Goerlich explains in sex-therapist-speak, "Whereas heterosexuals are sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex, and homosexuals are attracted to folks of the same sex, asexuals are [sexually] attracted to nobody."

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Culture Feature

A Message to Olivia Jade, David Guetta, and Other White Celebrities: You Can Just Shut Up

Some people have a responsibility to speak up, others should really just listen

Olivia Jade Giannulli, the 20-year-old social media influencer and daughter of actor Lori Laughlin (Full House) and fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli has come under fire for comments she made on the topic of racial justice and white privilege.

In the context of ongoing protests filling the streets of American cities, Giannulli—who goes by Olivia Jade—must have felt she has some responsibility to add her voice to the conversation. Here's the thing though: She doesn't.

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CULTURE

See the Fake Resume That Got Lori Loughlin's Daughter into USC

The forged document suggests that one of Loughlin's daughters—probably YouTuber Olivia Jade—was a rowing star.

Last March, Full House actress Lori Loughlin and her husband were charged by the FBI in a now infamous nationwide college entrance exam cheating scandal.

Loughlin and her husband were accused of paying scheme organizer Rick Singer half a million dollars to guarantee that their two daughters—one of whom is Olivia Jade Giannulli, a popular YouTuber and social media influencer—would be admitted into the University of Southern California.

A fake resume has since surfaced that was used in the USC application of one of Loughlin's daughters. As Page Six points out, the high school graduation year corresponds with Olivia Jade's. The resume details an extensive rowing career—a sport neither of Loughlin's daughters has any experience in—and claims the unnamed Giannulli sister has medals in the San Diego Crew Classic dating back to 2014, while her top skills listed are "awareness, organization, direction and steering." Smells fishy!

Still, Loughlin and her husband argue that they believed their cool half-million was given as a well-intended donation to USC, and they pled not guilty in the case and were eventually released on a bail bond of $1 million each. Olivia Jade claimed she had no idea about any falsifications in her application, and the USC registrar has since confirmed that she no longer attends the school (it's unknown whether or not she was expelled).

Olivia Jade is now supposedly doing the Internet influencer thing full-time. On the bright side, she was never that excited about higher education in the first place: "I don't know how much of school I'm gonna attend," she announced to her nearly 2 million subscribers before heading off to USC. "But I'm gonna go in and talk to my deans and everyone, and hope that I can try and balance it all. But I do want the experience of like game days, partying…I don't really care about school, as you guys all know."