CULTURE

Can Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds Just Kiss Already?

They can joke all they want, but we all see the way they look at each other

Vanity Fair

They say that shared trauma binds people together.

So perhaps it was the experience of filming the mess that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine that cemented the strange, sexually charged bond between Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds. Certainly Reynolds' appearance in that film as a bafflingly mute version of Deadpool has become fodder for a lot of the comedic jabs between them.



Most recently their love/hate/lust relationship involved Jackman replacing Reynolds in a promotional image for Free Guy and an interview with Australia's Today in which Reynolds called Jackman "an evil person," and worse still, accused him of being Canadian. Whatever the original source of this electric energy, Reynolds and Jackman have been going after each other for years, like the kid on the playground tugging pigtails as an expression of love—except that there are two of them, chasing each other in circles.



Their flirt-feud first came to the attention of the general public in 2015, during the filming of Deadpool. In a post on Jackman's Instagram, Reynolds appeared in full Deadpool makeup and put on a flimsy Australian accent. Claiming to be Jackman, he asked the public to vote for him for People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive." Jackman and Reynolds had both already been picked for that honor—Jackman in 2008, Reynolds in 2010—as heavily referenced within the Deadpool films themselves. But the suggestion that Jackman was eagerly seeking to reprise that title—and also that his face is a horrific mass of scar tissue—became the first comedic jab in a back-and-forth that has continued to this day.


From a fake truce involving commercials for each other's brands to a political attack ad and a complex, deeply sexual bromance-triangle with Jake Gyllenhaal, Jackman and Reynolds clearly want to be the sexiest men alive all over each other. But for some reason, they seem to be permanently stuck in the middle part of the rom-com where they tease each other lovingly, but aren't quite willing to acknowledge their true feelings. Stop holding back, guys!


ryan reynolds and hugh jackman Now lean in...


Two ripped, charming dudes with killer jawlines should not be kept away from each other by society's expectations or, you know, committed, loving relationships with their wives. It's time for the world to call upon Blake and Debora-Lee to sanction this holy union. It's time for Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman to finally make out, and for the angels to rejoice.

Culture Feature

Why Does Chrissy Teigen Keep Dragging John Legend?

We're not saying Chrissy Teigen bullies John Legend... But if she does, he probably likes it.

John Legend has received a distinction no man has ever earned.

Sure, he's achieved a full EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony), he stars in an Emmy Award-winning TV show, and he's only the fourth person of color to be named People's "Sexiest Man Alive," but his most impressive credential by far is having Chrissy Teigen as his wife.

"My secret is out," she tweeted in 2019. "I have fulfilled my dream of having boned @people's sexiest man alive!! an honor!!!!"

Legend is arguably a trailblazer in this new avenue; as a baby-faced 40-year-old, his new "sexy" honor tips the balance in the eternal battle between being "cute" or "hot" but never a hybrid of both. Legend commented right away on the vacuous nature of the "Sexiest Man" title, "Everyone's going to be picking me apart to see if I'm sexy enough to hold this title," he told People. I'm [also] following Idris Elba, which is not fair and is not nice to me!"

No, it's not nice. But with Chrissy Teigen as his wife, Legend knows better than to expect niceties; because it's clear that no one, absolutely no one, is better at dragging John Legend than his wife.

Twitter

John Legend: The Icon, the Meme, the Aardvark

The Internet's love of the "John Legend looks like Arthur" meme doesn't compare to Chrissy Teigen's. She's returned the public's attention to it when it simply wasn't being appreciated enough, especially in reference to their daughter. Once upon a time, it seems Legend could appreciate the joke, even dressing up as the children's cartoon for a commercial once. But marriage is long and arduous, and not even eternal vows can't prepare you for having the Queen of Twitter as a spouse. Really, John Legend's exasperation in his wife's Instagram comments is the delicious coda to every little dig.


Chrissy Teigen: John Legend's Worst Fear

Shortly after being crowned the most symmetrical face in mainstream media, Legend guest-hosted the Ellen DeGeneres Show. Inevitably, during one of the interludes, Chrissy Teigen popped out of the fake piece of furniture that's always lying around Ellen's set so nearly every celebrity guest can be caught on camera having a moment of pure, animalistic fear. This is John Legend's fear face:

Chrissy Teigen Scares Guest Host John Legend www.youtube.com


Even scared, he looks so carefree. How? I don't trust it.



After bantering about the uncomfortable logistics of sitting in a box so you can yell "boo" at your husband, whom you probably live with and could do a better job of scaring the next time he's emerging from the shower, Teigen seemed to believe that her husband genuinely had no idea she was in the studio. Teigen asked him, "You didn't hear me banging around the box?" "No, I did not," Legend answered. Teigen lamented to the audience, "This helps because he's very unaware of anything around him. Like we get in fights on the airplane and stuff. He'll hit people with his bag. And I'm like apologize!"

Chrissy Teigen Isn't a Huge John Legend Fan

What makes that Ellen scare even better is that Chrissy Teigen seems to alternate between flippantly sharing intimate details about her and John's love life and also not knowing pretty basic, very public information about her own husband. Why? Because she's busy. No, she never saw Selma, despite her husband taking home his first Oscar for writing the moving score. Why? Because she didn't feel like it, mind your business!

Chrissy Teigen Doesn't Know Jack About John Legend www.youtube.com


Chrissy Teigen: Not Afraid to Challenge Idris Elba

In order to clearly communicate his deep feelings of inferiority compared to Idris Elba, John Legend took to Twitter to compare a picture of himself at 17 to the aesthetic pleasure that is the one and only Idrissa Akuna Elba, OBE. To her credit, Teigen wrote an encouraging response that magnanimously pointed to the fact that we all have old photos of ourselves in which we look like a half-transformed Animorph beast...except Idris Elba. "Yeah but let's see an @idriselba pic from 1995 (prob still very hot)," she wrote.

And indeed, Elba accepted her challenge and posted a photo of himself as a smoking hot twenty-something year old in 1995, which at a certain point is honestly tantamount to an attack on society, because who needs to look like this?




Yes, Chrissy Teigen tried, but must you, Idris Elba?! One day I'm going to start a movement to dismantle beauty biases in Hollywood and all of American culture just so I can shame people for being so hot. Oh, what? That's already a toxic take that's historically targeted women who vote and write and have senses of humor while daring to look better than an unwashed bridge troll? Much like former Sports Illustrated model-turned-author-turned-beloved-TV-personality Chrissy Teigen? who has the honor of being the target of Trump's Twitter rampages??? Nevermind, then. Clearly, Chrissy Teigen bullies John Legend, the "Sexiest Man Alive" in 2019, as an ironic commentary on beauty biases and shame that pervades American media. I get it now.

CULTURE

John Legend's "Sexiest Man Alive" Title is a Victory for Baby Faces

It's a big day for those of us with a youthful essence.

Bartenders and bouncers often take their sweet, sweet time when looking at my ID.

I can't blame them. I no longer live in the state where my ID was issued, so the discrepancy automatically raises some eyebrows. I've drastically changed my hairstyle since my photo was taken, I now wear glasses, and I look a little more like I've been through some stuff, to put it lightly. But the overarching reason my ID causes concern is probably that, for nearly all of my post-pubescent life, I've been mistaken for at least a couple of years younger than I actually am.

Besides the fact that only one of us is an EGOT winner, John Legend and I have a lot in common. His internet humor-fluent wife, Chrissy Teigen, often points out the physical similarities between Legend and their kids; of course, it's natural to bear a resemblance to your dad, but the thing is John Legend still looks like a baby. Which is why I, forever a child in the eyes of strangers, breathed a sigh of relief when I found out John Legend was named People's Sexiest Man Alive 2019.

John Legend's "Sexiest Man Alive!" cover for People.

There are definitely more important reasons to be glad Legend received this very silly and arbitrary honor, like the fact that he's only the fourth person of color to ever receive the title. But this is a moment for Legend's fellow babyface bearers to celebrate. We, too, could be so lucky as to have definitive evidence of our perceived sexiness. Legend has also fallen victim to a running joke comparing his looks to Arthur. How beautiful is it that we live in a world that tells someone they look like a cartoon aardvark but also splays magazine covers with photos of them smizing in a half-unbuttoned shirt?

However, I guess it's worth noting that Legend isn't just a pretty (baby) face. He has a very toned body and godly singing pipes; he did once portray Jesus Christ, after all. Still, I would assume the general population finds him much more "cute" than "sexy," and it seems Legend himself might feel the same: "Everyone's going to be picking me apart to see if I'm sexy enough to hold this title," he told People. You bet we are! But I'm not one to objectively say whether or not John Legend is sexy. I'm just saying I'm happy that being "cute" is enough to get by these days.

MUSIC

Three Questions for Adam Levine About That Haircut

I need to ask Adam Levine a few questions about his new haircut.

Niko / Lastarpix / Backgrid

Hey, Adam Levine, nice haircut, man.

I'm a big fan and really admire your fashion. I just wanted to ask you a few quick questions. Hope that's okay, I wouldn't want to take time away from you making such awesome songs with all of your vast musical talent!

Adam Levine Corn Hawk Instagram

1. Are you paying homage to Mad Max: Fury Road or American History X?

Both great movies, so no judgment either way! It's always cool to see a fellow movie buff doing something wacky in tribute to their favorite film. I'm just curious if your look is more inspired by those pasty white dudes who spray chrome all over their faces or the other pasty white dudes who, you know, hate black people?

2. Did you deeply offend your barber?

I hope this question doesn't rub you the wrong way—not trying to pry or anything! It just dawned on me that maybe you wronged your barber in a massive, life-altering capacity. Otherwise, I feel fairly confident that he would have tried to steer you in a different direction. I'm not saying you look terrible, really! I'm just saying other people might feel differently, and if you did irreparable damage to your barber's life, maybe you should apologize?

3. Why?

Why would you ask for this haircut, Adam? I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I think I'm probably stretching. If I'm being perfectly honest, I don't think you were really paying tribute to either of the aforementioned movies. I'm starting to worry that you just have really bad taste in literally everything, and I'm hoping that's not the case because I'm a big fan of your overwhelmingly generic music. Please write back.

Sincerely,

Everyone


If you're still keeping up with Season 15 of The Bachelorette, you've demonstrated great perseverance, maybe even as great as St. Catherine.

Hannah Brown's season has gotten messy, in the best and worst ways. After People Magazine broke the story that Jed Wyatt, a contestant, had a girlfriend before the show and then also cheated on that girlfriend with another woman, Bachelor Nation went crazy. Every moment he's on the show is somehow more despicable than watching Luke P be a pathological liar. Still, Luke P. has stuck around for reasons that many are still failing to comprehend.

Hannah's One-On-One With Jed

After everything we know now, it's very difficult to watch Hannah go on a date with Jed. Their time together was boring until Hannah told Jed she was falling in love with him. Bachelor Nation cringed and defended Hannah against the true villain of the season, Jed.



Hannah's One-On-One with Tyler

Hannah's date with Tyler wasn't very exciting. They spent their awkward time together roaming the city on horses and eating odd food.


It wasn't until the evening portion that Tyler C. opened up about his family's past. His father lost everything he had after the 2008 market crash, and then his parents got divorced. Hannah went on to share details of her family life. She disclosed that her parents are in a happy marriage, but they're horrible at communicating. The moment was surprisingly honest for the show—to viewers' delight and her parents' embarrassment.


A Moment of Silence for Connor: He was never making it to hometowns.

Connor S. had barely received any screen time since his one-on-one. He faded into the background for viewers and, apparently, for Hannah. When the contestant knew he wasn't going on a one-on-one the week before hometowns, he went to visit Hannah for their own alone time. Hannah wasn't really ecstatic about the surprise and truthfully told him she just doesn't see it happening for them.

Hannah's One-On-One With Mike

After telling Jed she was in love with him and then an "explosive" date with Tyler, Hannah realized that she couldn't keep Mike around. She especially couldn't meet his family knowing how big of a step that was for Mike.

The contestant took the break-up with grace as he consoled Hannah.

Everyone:



After Mike went home, Luke P. was happy because there's one less contestant battling for Hannah's heart. Tyler C. called him out in the most glorious fashion.



The Group Date

To sum up the painful and barely entertaining group date, there was annoying drama between Garrett and Luke. Thankfully, our sweet Pilot Pete stayed in his own lane.





So there we have it: Luke P, Pilot Pete, Jed, and Tyler C. are all bringing Miss Hannah Brown home to meet their families.


Fin (@ Jed)

In today's most obvious news, Idris Elba is the sexiest man alive.

Elba is known for playing Russell "Stringer" Bell on The Wire, his portrayal of Norse God Heimdall in Marvel's Thor franchise, and an ass that just won't quit. This fine selection is clearly People magazines attempt to atone for giving Blake Shelton — who wouldn't even be the sexiest man in your average Applebees — the award last year.

People reports that when asked about his reaction to the award, Elba said,"I was like, 'Come on, no way. Really?' Looked in the mirror, I checked myself out. I was like, 'Yeah, you are kind of sexy today.' But to be honest, it was just a nice feeling. It was a nice surprise — an ego boost for sure." It doesn't matter, just look at this picture.

Elba is PEOPLE's 33rd Sexiest Man Alive, a list that began with 29-year-old Mel Gibson in 1985, before he went all Charles Lindbergh.

According to People, when Elba isn't ripping cable knit sweaters, "he might be deejaying in Ibiza, kickboxing in Thailand, or designing his own clothing line, not to mention planning his wedding to his fiancée Sabrina Dhowre, 29, a model, to whom he proposed in February." If you had never seen or heard of Idris Elba before reading that sentence, you would undoubtedly still get a pretty accurate portrait of the extreme level of cool/handsomeness at play here.

Take a moment for self care this evening, and spend a few minutes gazing into those, "Let me just take the trash out and then I'll make us dinner, baby" eyes.

The Independent


Brooke Ivey Johnson is a Brooklyn based writer, playwright, and human woman. To read more of her work visit her blog or follow her twitter @BrookeIJohnson.


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