Culture Feature

End Times Update 4/10/2021: Prince Philip, DMX, and Yahoo! Answers

Northern Ireland, Prince Philip, Jordan Peterson vs. Captain America, Steve Harvey, James Charles, Scott Rudin, and Yahoo! Answers.

Every week one of Popdust's disposable clones — grown in a vault deep beneath the Mojave desert — is exposed to the outside world through a relentless feed of news, pop culture, and social media.

The arduous process accelerates their dissolution back into an amorphous clone slurry. But before they go, they leave behind a document of what they've absorbed and what they've learned — a time capsule preserving a single moment in the slow-motion collapse of civilization. An End Times Update...

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TV News

Piers Morgan Just Canceled Himself Over the Meghan Markle Scandal

The professional blowhard has announced that he's leaving Good Morning Britain.

Piers Morgan on the set of his new show Piers Morgan Uncensored

David Rose/Shutterstock

Piers Morgan has referred to cancel culture as "one of the very worst things about modern society."

And that heightened, hair-trigger sensitivity to criticism might explain how he sensed what was coming down the pipeline. Because an earlier version of this article was going to announce his official induction into the Cancelation Hall of Infamy, AKA the Cancel Canon, from which no career shall ever be revived (except Mel Gibson...and Alec Baldwin...and most of the other people who have supposedly been "canceled").

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Culture Feature

Is Donald Trump Actually "Stanky"?

The hashtag #StankyTrump was trending on Twitter on Thursday, but do we have evidence of the president's stank?

Donald Trump

Photo by Annie Spratt (Unsplash)
We should all know by now that soon-to-be-former-president Donald Trump is awful.
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Culture News

Piers Morgan vs. Rudy Giuliani Is the "Godzilla vs. Mothra" of Our Era

They are two masters at the top of their game—their game just happens to be making fools of themselves.

Rudy Giuliani

Photo by Nathan Posner (Shutterstock)

Once in a generation two titans in their fields go toe-to-toe in a battle that will echo through the ages.

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Meghan Markle Has Every Right to Forget Her Father

Between claims that he wants to reconcile and reconnect, Thomas Markle has stirred up endless controversy for his own benefit.

Thomas Markle 'Good Morning Britain' TV Show, London, UK - 09 Mar 2021

Photo by ITV/Shutterstock

Thomas Markle was making headlines again Monday, following an interview with Piers Morgan and Susanna Reid for Good Morning Britain.

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UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, meets the President of Ghana, Nana Akufo-Addo for talks at 10 Downing Street

Photo by Mark Thomas/Shutterstock

With the UK election upon us, incumbent Prime Minister Boris Johnson has come under fire again.

But this time it's not for a racist novel, sexual assault, printing a massive lie on the side of a bus, or being an alcoholic. This time Boris is being called a coward, of all things, for the perfectly human response of running away from Piers Morgan.

Picture the scene: In a moment of weakness you agreed to an interview with Piers Morgan—a man who believes that wearing a baby carrier is emasculating and that "Pythagoras's theorem" has decimal points he can use to make women feel dumb. Now, a reporter is approaching you to collect on that promise. You don't want to be polite or pretend to have any respect for a man who thinks Muhammed Ali was more racist than Donald Trump and actively pursues Twitter feuds with Chrissy Teigen in which he attacks her "impudence." Of course you don't. Why would anyone want to do that? So you look around for the quickest escape route, but there's nowhere to go except…the fridge.

Indiana Jones taught you that refrigerators can protect you from a nuclear blast. For a moment, maybe you can make yourself believe that this fridge will protect you from whatever radiation pompousness gives off. Can you honestly say that you wouldn't dive into that fridge and seal it behind you? Sure, Piers Morgan isn't the one holding the microphone, but the man holding the microphone is pushing that promised interview with Morgan, and you can't be sure that the man himself won't pop out of a corner any second with a smug grin and a question about Avogadro units or Planck's enigma or whether washing your butt makes you gay.

What Piers Morgan forgets when he calls Boris Johnson a coward for hiding in a fridge is that Piers Morgan is a horror movie monster that feeds on disgust. The harder he can make you grimace, the more of your life-force he steals. And even monsters are allowed to be afraid of monsters. So hide, Boris! Don't come out with a milk crate and pretend everything is normal. Stay in your bunker. Hide like your life depends on it. With any luck you'll live long enough to lose the election.