CULTURE

What Your Favorite Presidential Candidate Says About Your Style

No matter who you're supporting, we have the perfect accessory for you.

It's election season!

That means that you have to find the perfect outfit or accessory that expresses your political views. Fortunately, we have exactly the looks you need to make sure you're getting your candidate's message across. (Tom Steyer and Mike Bloomberg don't count, because you're not rich enough for them anyway!)

First and foremost, check your voter registration here, and get on that! If you're done with that step, try these outfits and look hot at the primaries.

1. Bernie Sanders

Every Sanders supporter, no matter your gender or lack thereof, deserves a floral or paisley-patterned button-up shirt and a beanie. These accessories work well at your low-level startup job, and they'll keep you warm on the trip to your apartment in deep Brooklyn, which is guaranteed to be flooded by rising sea levels unless we do something STAT about climate change. Of course, a real Bernie supporter would never order clothing online; they would thrift it at a clothing-exchange slash revolution planning session slash vegan potluck at their queer-friendly, illegally shared loft.

2. Pete Buttigieg

Pete Buttigieg supporters all need these Brooks Brothers suits, $249, for their next few days of mindless analyst work in a cubicle, followed by wine at the local wine cave, sponsored by your local fossil fuel baron.

Brooks Brothers

3. Elizabeth Warren

Elizabeth supporters, all you need is a classic fleece jacket to fend off that Massachusetts cold as you're cheering your large adult son and Republican brothers on (a little too aggressively) at the town soccer game. Get it in grey so you can hop straight from the grocery store to the night's Bunco tournament, just as quickly as you hopped from the Republican to the Democratic party. Try this sporty fleece jacket from Marmot, $150, which comes complete with a few strands of golden retriever hair.

Dick's Sporting Goods

4. Joe Biden

Joe Biden supporters will rock one of these literal Civil War-era shirts! Get this men's shirt, $12 on eBay, before it sells out—it was actually worn by a Civil War-era soldier, and it's the perfect way to show your support for Joe. It's certain to bring you back in time, just like all of Joe Biden's policies and his memory.

ebay

5. Donald Trump

Every Trump fan deserves this orange-toned foundation from WalMart, $15; make sure you look around and find one that's preferably at least three shades oranger than your actual skin shade. (Note: This is not to be confused with the Trump Foundation, the defunct charity for which our president had to pay a $2 million dollar settlement for misuse of funds after it was accused of "functioning as little more than a checkbook to serve Mr. Trump's business and political interests," according to the attorney general Barbara Underwood).

Walmart.com

6. Amy Klobuchar

Amy Klobuchar supporters can accessorize with this comb, $16, perfect for eating salads or throwing at your assistant. Plus, it's from Caswell-Massey, a department store based in the Midwest, like Amy Klobuchar, which is why sHe Can wIn.

caswellmassey.com

7. Andrew Yang

Every (former) member of the #YangGang needs Yang's signature piece: this iconic Math pin. Buy it from Yang's store, $20. If Yang was elected, you could get 200 of these pins every month, and the price (like the price of everything else) probably wouldn't rise because of inflation for a few weeks, at least!

cnn.com

8. Marianne WIlliamson

Our Orb Queen might be out of the race, but that doesn't mean you can't rock a floaty Stevie Nicks-inspired Free People shawl, $268, as you meander along the faery path to cast your vote for anybody but Pete Buttigieg. Accompany it with some crystals, some glittery eyeshadow, a flower crown, and an actually half-decent understanding of American democracy, and you're well on your way to enlightenment, we swear.

freepeople.com

CULTURE

How Kim Kardashian and Donald Trump Profit Off Your Outrage

They both have 61 million followers on Twitter, but the parallels don't end there.

The Kardashians want you to be reading this article. So does Donald Trump.

If you're already struggling to breathe while wearing Kim's shapewear and/or have fallen so unconditionally in love with Trump that nothing he does could change your opinion of him, they're happy you're here. But they're especially happy if you're prickling with rage, or if you're preparing to share this on your news feed, along with an angry comment about racism or cultural appropriation.

They're happy you're here because they've both figured out something about the modern media landscape and its purportedly elusive algorithm: Trump and Kim Kardashian know that they can profit off your indignation. They make money, they dominate headlines, and they win elections off the knowledge that any and all coverage, no matter how scathing, will benefit their careers.

This week's Kardashian publicity ploy: Kim has released a new lingerie line called Kimono. This has sparked instant rage from Japan, as well as anyone who has remotely paid attention to a single headline or news report or tweet about the problems with cultural appropriation.



A kimono, of course, is a gown tied with a sash that has been worn by people in Japan for centuries. To appropriate a kimono when you don't belong to its culture of origins is bad enough, but to package it and sell it for profit is an even more despicable act. Kim and her team's actions are, far and away, much worse than those of the white girl who received widespread backlash for wearing a traditional Chinese cheongsam to her prom.

That act, though not excusable, was one 18-year-old's poorly thought-out decision. In contrast, Kim's brand had to be conceptualized, vetted, marketed, and handled by hundreds if not thousands of people. Many of these people are extremely intelligent and well-versed in the ways of media and the social world, including Mrs. Kardashian West herself. They knew what they were doing and went ahead and did it anyway, applying for trademarks for the name "Kimono" in the United States, as well as "Kimono Body," "Kimono Intimates," and "Kimono World."

It's insidious—and brilliant. If Kim had simply released an underwear line, maybe it would've sold well among its target demographic; perhaps it would've provoked a few tweets from Jameela Jamil about the body-shaming nature of shapewear clothing. But now, because of this controversy, everyone with an Internet connection knows that Kim has released a new product. Everyone's sharing it, reading it, spreading it around like it's the plague in 14th century England (or its 21st century equivalent: the meme)—and so now it will reach people who might otherwise not have cared but who will now roll their eyes and say something about special snowflakes. Ideally, they'll buy the Kimono line out of spite and wear it as a kind of twisted testament to their all-American brand of kommodified, kolonialist, kapitalist freedom.

This marketing strategy is actually quite similar to the tactics used by the Trump campaign in 2016, tactics that the president will continue to use as he launches his campaign for 2020. It goes without saying that Trump's brand runs on a steady diet of outrage. It works: Studies have shown that negative press coverage helped elect Trump and has helped normalize him throughout his reign. In addition, the media's obsession with his personal controversies has distracted people's attention from natural and political disasters, as well as, god forbid, actual policy reform.

Donald Trump has built an empire by being more of a cultural icon than a politician, providing more personal drama and generating more rabid media coverage than arguably any Hollywood movie star ever has. His ammunition is controversy: His end goal is the spotlight, at any cost.

He shares this with the Kardashians, who have been open about their addiction to any kind of media attention. In 2015, Kim told Rolling Stone, "We'd go anywhere and everywhere just to be seen. We knew exactly where to go, where to be seen, how to have something written about you."

Image via E! News

For journalists and people against bigotry, hate, and abuse of power in general, this presents an infinite loop. To remain silent would be to ignore atrocity, yet providing more negative coverage fuels the fire. In short, we are running in circles.

So here's another article about the Kardashians and Trump, to be sent out into the labyrinth of the Internet, where it will join the ranks of millions of thinkpieces that burned brightly for a moment, perhaps sparked a flicker of contempt or conversation, and fizzled out to rest in the graves where all thinkpieces older than one week go to die. They'll be covered up by more outrage, more controversy. Fresh cuts will open elsewhere, distracting everyone from the wounds at hands. In the end, we'll all be left with the scars.

Change, if it's possible, will only occur when we open our eyes and see that we are building the walls of our own cage. Perhaps if we realize that we are being played by the same game, we could begin to dismantle this relentless carousel by forgoing brief flares of outrage for critical inquiry and ongoing protests against systemic issues.