With only two more episodes left in the season, The Mandalorian kick-started the final narrative arc with an explosive new entry.

The Mandalorian "Chapter 14: The Tragedy" premiered Friday, December 4th on Disney+. We're going to breakdown and explain all the major moments in this episode as well as its implications for the future of Season 2 and the series as a whole. It's all spoilers from this point forward. Do yourself a favor, watch Season 2, Episode 6, and come back!

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President-Elect Donald Trump makes a proud gesture during his speech at a "Thank You" Tour rally held at the Giant Center

Photo by: Evan El-Amin / Shutterstock

In response to the flagship Evangelical Christian magazine, Christianity Today, publishing a post-impeachment rebuke of Donald Trump and a call for his removal from office, Donald Trump bafflingly responded by bashing E.T., the beloved Steven Spielberg movie, which he also thinks is a book for some reason.

"I won't be reading ET again!" tweeted the impeached president, his brain likely mid-hemorrhage.

But if Donald Trump is under the impression that E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial is against him, that begs the question: What other movies does Donald Trump think are out to get him?

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom



Donald Trump has heard rumblings of a Jewish coup in Indiana, and while he hasn't been able to lock down the source yet, he has his top men on the case. Here's what the Trump administration has uncovered so far:

1. There is a Jewish man with the surname Jones somewhere in Indiana. Jones is not a traditional Jewish surname, which Trump finds suspicious.

2. Jews are untrustworthy and so are their temples, which Trump's sources have informed him are also called "synagogues." Creepy.

3. Jones is affiliated with a Jewish temple which will bring about "Doom," a concept that Mike Pence frequently references. Mike Pence is also from Indiana. Coincidence? Trump thinks not.

4. Jews love money, so they must love Trump. But white supremacists are also very fine people, and Jews are probably not white. Could this be Jones' reason for starting his Temple of Doom in Indiana? What terrors does Jones have in store for Mike Pence and the good Christian folk of Indiana? Jewish trickery, no doubt.

Back to the Future



Back to the Future and "Make America Great Again" basically mean the same thing, or at least that's what Donald Trump thinks. What liberal trickery is behind this blatant attempt to steal his campaign slogan? Donald Trump isn't sure, but he has top men working on the case. Their discoveries are as follows:

1. There is an old man who built a time machine. Jew?
2. Michael J. Fox is in cahoots with this old man. Michael J. Fox is confirmed to be Jewish. This has deep state written all over. Must investigate further. Also, Michael J. Fox has become younger somehow?
3. Michael J. Fox and the old (Jewish?) man keep referring to Trump as Biff Tannen. Donald Trump has assumed many aliases to lie about himself, but never Biff Tannen. Could Biff Tannen be a new Donald Trump alias from the future?

4. It seems likely that the democrats have funded illegal Jew technology to both make Michael J. Fox younger and convince Donald Trump to change his name to Biff Tannen in the future. Biff Tannen is a pretty cool name, but there's a missing puzzle piece here. Could this possibly be related to Jones from Indiana?

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi



Those damn Hollywood Jew liberals are behind the coup. Donald Trump knew it all along, but this is the proof he needed. It's right there in writing, clear as day: Star Wars. The Hollywood stars are planning to wage a war against the Trump administration, and they were stupid enough to put it out on billboards. But what is this Return of the Jedi gobbledygook all about? Donald Trump can't figure it out, but he has top men on the case. Their investigation has proven fruitful thus far, revealing:

1. A cabal of Jewish liberal Hollywood stars are prepping for a literal war against Donald Trump.
2. Their leader is a young Michael J. Fox. It is unclear how Michael J. Fox has aged backwards, but there is photographic evidence. Where did the Jews obtain this technology, and how can it be reclaimed for Americans?

3. The Hollywood elites are operating out of a secret Jewish temple, or "synagogue," based in Indiana.

4. Jedi might be a misspelling? Hollywood liberals are dumb. Could it be...Jeb?

5. Is Jeb Bush involved? This is all starting to make sense.

6. Okay, the Hollywood liberals, lead by young Michael J. Fox, are stockpiling Jew technology at a temple in Indiana. Their goal is to resurrect Jeb Bush's failed presidential campaign, except with a better slogan than "JEB!" which is why they're trying to copy MAGA. They're probably also planning to make him younger, just like they did with Michael J. Fox. They also plan to convince Donald Trump to adopt the moniker "Biff Tannen," but to what end is still unknown. Their ultimate goal is clearly the doom of America, so we'll need to ask Mike Pence more about what that might entail. He's always quoting a book about it, so maybe he can be our secret weapon. Further investigation is required, but this is definitely shaping up to be the greatest scandal in America history, perhaps even more dangerous to our way of life than Sicario 2.
FILM

11 Disney Plus Movies That Are Weird to Watch As Adults

Sometimes ya gotta confront the demons of your childhood, especially when they were created by a bunch of overworked, underpaid animators in a California warehouse.

Disney

If you grew up with a TV, chances are you spent a lot of your childhood watching Disney movies.

Do you ever wonder where all those images and stories went? They must be lurking around in our brains somewhere, having embedded themselves into our psyches when we were at our most impressionable.

Because of this, watching something you last saw as a six year old can be distinctly surreal, especially when you realize just how strange, messed-up, and often, wildly psychedelic so much of the media you consumed as a youth was.

Disney Plus has entered the streaming game, and naturally, it's sure to rake in billions despite the glitches. For better or for worse, Disney was part of most of our childhoods. If you're looking to tap into some of those hidden reservoirs of childhood memories and nightmares, look no further than these 11 odd films. Many of them hold up, but others are full of cracks and flaws you may never have noticed.

1. WALL-E

This heartwarming story appeared to be about a cute little robot, but it actually was very clearly about the climate crisis. In 2019, when scientists predict untold suffering due to global warming and natural disasters are picking up in speed and ferocity, WALL-E's desolate vision of global apocalypse feels...too real. Also, since Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos are considering space communities, the surreal spaceship habitat that houses all the remaining humans in WALL-E hits a bit too close to home.

Empire

2. Fantasia

This film was made in 1940, and if you view any of the clips, you'll notice that every frame seems to have been spawned from some sort of psychedelic experience. What was Fantasia? What is Fantasia? The truth is that no one really knows—Fantasia exists beyond human comprehension, in a sphere all its own—but the music is magnificent and the imagery is so surreal that you'll be amazed that you just accepted it as a kid.

syfy.com

3. Sleeping Beauty

This film was made in 1959, so it can be forgiven for its lack of feminist sensibility, but still… watching the prince plant a totally non-consensual kiss on a woman who is mostly only known as "Sleeping Beauty" is rather disorienting. If you're a woman who was raised on princess movies but are still wondering why you're having so much trouble getting over the impulse to be shy, submissive, and acquiescent, look no further. (The same goes for Snow White, who also goes to live in a house with seven strange men).

1000-Word-Philosophy

4. Robin Hood

Robin Hood was kind of a militant socialist. If you've been motivated by Bernie Sanders in recent years or have been organizing since you were a teen, watching this movie and seeing Robin Hood's dedication to redistributing the wealth can feel oddly resonant and inspiring.

animationsource.org

5. Hannah Montana

This isn't a movie, but watching Miley Cyrus gallivant around in her blonde wig as the super innocent, ultra-perky Hannah Montana will inevitably be disorienting for the adult viewer. Cyrus has spoken openly about the struggles she went through while filming the show, saying that playing Hannah Montana made her "hate her body" and leveling other critiques at the franchise. Watching the show is eerie in that it'll remind you of the days of your innocent youth—before you ever saw Miley Cyrus naked (which simply became a rite of passage around 2012)—but maybe it'll also make you realize that you have a lot of internalized sexism.

HANNAH MONTANA: THE MOVIE, Miley Cyrus, 2009. Photo: Sam Emerson/ ©Walt Disney Co./courtesy EverettEntertainment Weekly


6. Dumbo

Is this movie a critique of animal abuse or an insane, racist acid trip, or a bit of both? The crows are racist (their leader is literally named Jim Crow), and there's a racist song, etcetera. In one scene, baby Dumbo gets drunk and hallucinates a parade of pink elephants. Scarring? Undeniably. Poor Dumbo. This movie is almost sadder to watch as an adult knowing just how sad Dumbo's plight actually is.

Dumbo's dreamwww.youtube.com

7. The Black Cauldron

This movie is not as well-known outside of Disney aficionados, as its release almost brought down the entire franchise. Made during Disney's "dark period" when the company was experimenting with horror and new technologies, this genuinely creepy movie is often called the "darkest Disney movie ever." I definitely remember watching this as a kid and being seriously terrified by the skeleton crew and onscreen suicides in this film. In that way, it makes sense that the film has amassed a cult following largely made up of the generation it scarred for life. Sometimes ya gotta confront the demons of your childhood, especially when they were created by a bunch of overworked, underpaid animators in a Glendale warehouse.

Rich Menga

8. Alice in Wonderland

Like Fantasia, some of the imagery in this movie is undeniably eerie and almost too surreal. The fact that Alice winds up at a strange luncheon with a Mad Hatter where time doesn't exist? That she takes something that makes her grow small, then large? That she falls down a rabbit hole? What drugs were the people who made this movie on? Or perhaps the better question: What weren't they on? As a child watching this movie, I imagine that I developed some strange ideas about reality and rabbits that haunted me to adulthood. Also, the movie brings up complex questions about physics, math, philosophy and more—that's a lot for a children's fairytale.

steamcommunity.com

9. Beauty and the Beast

This one has also been discussed ad nauseum, but Belle...lets a man imprison her and then falls in love with him. This is Stockholm Syndrome at its finest. She gets imprisoned and then marries the man who imprisons her. Sure, it's a tale as old as time, but I think that in the recent live-action remake, we all let our feelings about Emma Watson's vocals and the Beast's anthropomorphization overtake the simple strangeness of the tale.

Crosswalk the Musical: Beauty and the Beastwww.youtube.com

10. Cars

Cars is full of adult humor, from the stoner hippie bus character Fillmore to the scene where Lightning McQueen's fans "flash" him. Actually, it's implied that the cars have sex, so that says more than enough. What universe is this?

Slate.com

11. Hunchback of Notre Dame

This movie is adorable and charming in a lot of ways, but it also has an undercurrent of disturbing sadism and sexual violence. Frollo harasses Esmeralda to no end, and she's almost executed at the end of the film. There's torture, death, abuse, hallucinations…

Disney

Then again, all that is part of what made Disney movies so enduring, right? Kids get exposed to a lot growing up, and if all Disney films were all squeaky-clean and innocent, that would defeat the purpose of stories, which are meant to relate to people and resonate across ages and demographics. That doesn't mean that it's not strange to look back on these films after a while, but what's funny is that a lot of these strange films were also some of Disney's greatest. If anything, the grains of reality that Disney built into their fanciful stories are what make these films that much more powerful and timeless.

FILM

Why "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker" Is Breaking All the Ticket Pre-Sale Records

Unpacking the phenomenon of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Recently, the final trailer for the final movie in the final trilogy of the mainline Star Wars franchise dropped, and fans are taking out their wallets en masse.

Per Atom Tickets, pre-sale movie tickets for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker have been flying off virtual shelves faster than a womp rat in an X-Wing, or some other Star Wars reference. First hour sales broke the previous record holder, Avengers: Endgame's sale numbers by 45 percent. So what's all the fuss about?

To be honest, as a die-hard Star Wars fan, I was a bit disappointed by the trailer. I watched the entire thing wondering when the porgs would show up, but there were none. Believe me, I checked three times, and I can sadly confirm that there are zero porgs in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (at least if the trailer is to be believed).

No doubt, other hardcore fans will be devastated when they discover the lack of porgs for themselves. Us lifelong Starheads (that's what I call everyone in my Star Wars group chat) who have been watching since Star Wars: The Last Jedi understand that porgs––the cute little alien bird things that I bought a life-size plush of––are the lifeblood of the long-running franchise.

Sure, this new movie has C-3PO, a big lightsaber battle, and the hairy monster guy who screams a lot, but where are the porgs? I'm betting that most of the people clamoring to buy tickets right now are filthy casuals who don't know the first thing about Star Wars, because if they did, they'd be holding off until we have some sort of official statement on why porgs have been cut from this film. #NoPorgsNoTicket

Humor

Star Wars - It's a Map!

A San Francisco designer retold The Original Trilogy in the style of the London Tube Map.

Not many people sit down and watch George Lucas's classic trilogy and then think to themselves: What if this was a public transit map? What if we viewed every destination the various characters encounter on their journey as subway stubs? Luckily, Jacob Berman not only had that thought but spent several weeks acting on it. It should be mentioned that he has made numerous maps in the past, so he clearly sees the world and its culture in terms of cartography.

Fifthythreestudio, Jacob Berman

Now, of course, there is no better way to incur the rage of internet geeks than by remastering anything Star Wars-related. So Mr. Berman attempted to reduce the rage by posting a drafted version in the place with the most concentrated rage: Reddit.

In his own words, he was "torn apart by people who were quite passionate about the subject." If you want to see a classic Reddit explosion, check out the whole post here. It has some important facts about the original film, including the fact that "C3-PO was throwing dead Jawas into a fire." I, for one, didn't know that.

Fifthythreestudio, Jacob Berman

Also, the Reddit post led to some amazingly specific jokes about Star Wars and the New York City Subway system, including parodies of its delays such as, "THIS SAIL BARGE IS CURRENTLY RUNNING EXPRESS. EXPRESS EXPRESS EXPRESS EXPRESS. WE WILL NOT BE MAKING STOPS BETWEEN 59TH STREET-JABBA'S THRONE ROOM AND 125TH STREET-SHUTTLE TYDIRIUM."

Reddit

Reddit

Nonetheless, Berman used the exchange as constructive criticism and integrated the helpful feedback into his final products. Check them out and stay tuned to see if he is going to validate the prequels by incorporating them into his next designs! Or, god forbid, see if he draws inspiration from the new films.

Fiftythreestudio, Jacob Berman