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Sarah Palin Was on "The Masked Singer" and America Is Doomed

The former vice presidential candidate sang "Baby Got Back," because she's #relatable.

The Masked Singer is simultaneously a mysteriously popular reality show and a furry's wet dream.

The singing competition series combines the celebrity appeal of Dancing With the Stars with the good old-fashioned talent contest of American Idol or The Voice. Notable public figures sport particularly frightening head-to-toe ensembles and take turns singing songs, and the judges must guess who is in the suit. And, as is the case with any reality show, things get cringey—especially when a costumed Sarah Palin gives a rendition of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back."

That's correct: The one-time vice presidential candidate (and Most Famous Alaskan Probably Ever) removed a monstrous bear head (as the entire crowd yelled "take it off," which isn't at all creepy) to reveal her identity before diving into the 1992 hit. She made sure to note that she tweaked the lyrics to be about men's butts instead. Because we can excuse a former governor for opposing same-sex marriage and being a life member of the NRA if they're funny and relatable, right? Right?

Before host Nick Cannon signed off, Palin assured the crowd: "This is something that our country needs right now, too." I can't say I agree, considering I'm typing this through an anxiety-ridden self-quarantine, but to each their own. Funny and relatable! We are in hell!

Watch the haunting performance below:

azalea banks sarah palin crazy

It was only a matter of time before Azealia Banks and Sarah Palin’s crazy trains collided.

And, when they did, earlier today, it resulted in a glorious train wreck.

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Banks kicked it all off, with a series of tweets, calling for Palin to be gang-raped by the “biggest, burliest, blackest negroes”.

OK, then.

Tweet 1: azalea banks sarah palin crazy

Sarah Palin needs to have her hair shaved off to a buzz cut, get headfucked by a big, vent, ashy, black dick then be locked in a cupboard.

Tweet 2: azalea banks sarah palin crazy

Hideous. At least suk a nigga dick or summ’ before you start talking shit about “black people willingly accepting slavery”. Least she can do

Tweet 3: azalea banks sarah palin crazy

Honestly…Let’s find the biggest burliest blackest negroes and let them run a train on her. Film it and put it on worldstar.

How about telling us how you REALLY feel Azealia?!! Stop holding back girl!

Of COURSE Sarah Palin Blames Obama For Track’s Domestic Violence

So, what prompted Banks’ fury?

Well, out of all the insanely stupid things Palin has said, it was actually an insanely stupid thing she didn’t say.

Satirical website, Newslo ran a post claiming Palin said African-Americans willing accepted slavery.

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Complete with fictitious quotes: azalea banks sarah palin craz

I’m telling you, I’ve been saying it for years, but nobody’s listening – slavery wasn’t forced onto African-Americans, they accepted it willingly.

But, all of a sudden, they realized that it represented a very powerful bargaining chip that could help them milk more money out of the national budget. And now they’re even complaining white people are racist. That is just horrendous.

We’ve got a situation where our internal matters have become so obvious that even foreigners can clearly see what’s going on.

I mean, you’ve got a French minister calling it like it is, whereas we Americans, citizens of the very country that gave birth to the so-called ‘abolishment’ of slaves, are turning a blind eye.

Well, not all of us are pretending to ignore this issue, and I’m going to say it once again loudly and clearly: Negroes loved being slaves and they were doing just fine under our rules. So, you see, you can’t really blame us for any of it, not legitimately.

If they liked it and enjoyed it, how can you pin that on white people? Are the Chinese blaming their leaders for being communist? No, of course not – they’re working their butts off and are prospering because they’re keeping it real.

That’s what we need to start doing, because we’re not at fault for slavery. Negroes loved being slaves because of the simple fact that they can’t tackle the world around them on their own.

They need someone to govern them, to show them how to organize, how to live as a community, in a civilized manner. They pretty much need us more than we need them.

Now, if those quotes were real—and we wouldn’t put anything past Palin at this point—we can understand why Banks would get so riled up.

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But still, calling for someone to be gang-raped? That’s a tad over-the-top, under any circumstance.

And it appears Banks came to that realization herself, as the tweets have since been deleted.

Palin was quick to point out the error of Banks’ ways, positively gloating over the fact that for once she was in the right.

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Palin took to Facebook to slam Banks: azalea banks sarah palin crazy

Hey Female Rapper - listen up, little darling.

No one has any idea what you're wigging out about in these bizarre, violent rants against me, but you're obviously not exercising enough intelligence to acknowledge you've been sucked into believing some fake interview in which I supposedly offered comments representing the antithesis of my truth.

In this life, you're blessed to have been given an influential platform. So have I. Why don't we strengthen both our platforms and work together on something worthwhile - like condemning racism, along with empowering young women to defend themselves against a most misogynist, degrading, devastating assault perpetrated by evil men - rape.

Thanks. And now I'll go through my young daughter's playlist to make sure there hasn't been any inadvertent addition of any anti-woman, pro-rape garbage that you seem to endorse, which perpetuates the cultural challenges we face in America. I encourage other parents to do the same.

God bless you Ms. Banks, as you consider a change of heart.

- Sarah Palin

Now, the best part of all, is that, according to Jezebel, in the original Facebook post, Palin wrote "condoning racism"—them edited it to "condemning racism".

Hahaha. Perfect.

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Meanwhile, the feud shows no sign of slowing down any time soon—and why would it?

When two kindred crazy souls find each other, you know they’re gonna find it tough to walk away.

Palin gave a statement to People this afternoon, taking a leaf out of her butt-sore little bitch buddy Donald Trump’s book, and threatening to sue:

I've had enough of the unanswered threats and attacks against my family and me.

So, for the first time I'm going to enjoy the only retribution some protected 'celebrities' seem to understand – I'm suing Azealia Banks and can't wait to share my winnings with others who have gone defenseless against lies and dangerous attacks far too long.

Azealia engages in a form of racism and hate that is celebrated by some in the perverted arm of pop culture, but is condemned by those who know it's tearing our country apart.

Others may keep turning a blind eye to problems like Azealia's mouth; I choose to take a stand against it and the double standards that result in her actually being rewarded for her divisive tactics and aggressively inciting violence.

Hey folks, remember: #PalinLivesMatterToo

At time of post, Banks has the last word. Posting an open letter to Palin on tumblr:

A Letter to Sarah Palin

April 5, 2016

Dear Sarah Palin,

I hope this message reaches you in good spirits and in good health. I want to start this letter off by telling you that I actually, really like you. While many other American people may see you as someone to be ridiculed, I truly believe that you possess a certain “je ne sais quoi,” (a french term which is often interpreted to denote one’s inexplicable charisma.)

Given a bit of book-reading/media-training/patience, that charisma could become your magic carpet. There is something very charismatic and misunderstood about you. The misunderstood bit oftentimes reminds me of myself. You’re very passionate about the things you believe in, super determined, and most certainly aware of who you are and where you stand in this world, as a parent, as a politician, but most importantly, as a woman.

Given the propensity of conservative right-wing media publications to veer into very fearful/erroneous/baseless/contradictory/prejudice analyses of us “melanated,” peoples of the United States, It should come as no shock to you that a satirical article accusing you of saying, “Even the French understand that Slavery wasn’t our fault because the negroes liked it,” Would be provocative enough to ruffle a few feathers.

Now since learning that the article was not published officially, I sincerely apologize for any emotional distress or reputational scarring i may have caused you.

In my honest defense, i was completely kidding. I happen to have a really crass, New-York-City sense of humor, and regularly make silly jokes in attempts make light of situations which make me uncomfortable. As the fabric of the American Nation is EMBEDDED with racism, I merely made a raCIALly driven joke to counter what i believed to be real, raCIST rhetoric.

Also, i never said you should be raped. I used the term “run a train,” which is slang for group sex, NOT for “rape.” There are many distinctions between the two.

As a woman, I would never trivialize something as lewd and criminal to provide myself any sort of comic relief because it simply… just isn’t funny. (and no, is not a reputable source of information to seek clarity on the aforementioned dichotomy).

However, i find great irony in the right-wing media’s attempt to “victimize,” you in this situation. Seeking empathy through sensationalism is something left-leaning liberals are frequently ridiculed for by the Right. But American Hypocrisy is nothing new.

Considering the imminence of 2016’s polarizing presidential election, I’ve taken it upon myself to do my own social research. I’ve recently had the opportunity to indulge in a few lengthy conversations with some very popular conservative figures. I’ve concluded: Amongst millennial conservatives, Censorship paired with the (questionable) social necessity for political correctness are atop the list of social grievances.

It is as though this newest generation of conservative voters desire the right to express their true feelings, free of any filter and free of any consequence. I too harbor a similar sentiment regarding censorship and self-expression, as i am an artist. I cherish my ability to express myself freely, yet remain totally aware that for every action, there will be a reaction.

All in All, Woman to Woman, I hope you will accept my sincerest apology.

-Miss Azealia A Banks.

-I am an EXTREMELY intelligent woman, Mrs. Palin.

-“Hey Female Rapper,” was your way to euphemize what you REALLY wanted to say. What you wanted to say was, “Hey little Stereotypical Black, Thing!”

-Realize that stereotypes are a product of what I like to call the “Critical White Gaze.” The basic fundamentals of the Critical White Gaze are Fear, Ignorance, Curiosity, and Fetishization.

-Intelligence is not something which can be quantified in 140 Characters.

-Twitter is not real, neither is your opinion of me!

-If Bristol Palin listened to my music she probably wouldn’t have all those cotdamn kids!!!! ;-P #sis #iud #stayinschool #causeitsthebest

For more entertainment, music and pop culture updates and news, follow Max Page on Twitter


Of COURSE Sarah Palin Blames Obama For Track’s Domestic Violence Arrest

Blame it on the black man why don't you?

Sarah Palin Blames Obama for Track arrest—26-year-old punched his girlfriend in the eye, kicked her in the knee and then held an AR-15 assault rifle near his head—all while drunk

In today's totally unsurprising news, Sarah Palin blames President Obama for her son Track's domestic violence arrest—because, of COURSE she does—because Sarah fucking Palin!

As Popdust previously reported, Track Palin was arrested Monday night and charged with assault in the fourth degree (domestic violence), interfering with a report of domestic violence, and possession of a weapon while intoxicated—following a drunken attack on his girlfriend at his mom's Wasilla, Alaska, home.

According to the police report:

Track punched his girlfriend in the eye, kicked her in the knee and then held an AR-15 assault rifle near his head—all while raging drunk.

The 51-year-old kept mum on the most recent Palin family scandal yesterday, when she took to the stage to endorse fellow hate monger, Donald Trump—making no mention of Track's latest violent outburst. Presumably because she was taking her sweet time working out who to point the finger at—because, let's face it, Palin is not exactly known for her ability to take responsibility for anything.

And sure enough, today, in a move that was truly shocking, even by Palin's past record of shocking behavior, during a Trump rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma, she turned her son's arrest into an opportunity to try and score some political points.

You betcha!

Well, if life gives you lemons….

Palin started off reasonably enough:

I can talk personally about this. I guess it's kind of the elephant in the room – because my own family, going through what we're going through today with my son, a combat vet having served in a Stryker brigade fighting for you all, America, in the war zone.

But my son, like so many others, they come back a bit different. They come back hardened.

But then:

They come back wondering if there is that respect for what their fellow soldiers and airmen and every other member of the military have given so sacrificially to this country, and that starts at the top.

It's a shame that our military personnel even have to question, have to wonder if they're respected anymore. It starts from the top.

That comes from our own president, where they have to look at him and wonder, 'Do you know what we go through? Do you know what we're trying to do to secure America?'

And, finally:

So when my own son is going through what he goes through coming back, I can certainly relate with other families who kind of feel these ramifications of PTSD and some of the woundedness that our soldiers do return with, and it makes me realize more than ever, it is now or never for the sake of America's finest that we'll have that commander in chief who will respect them and honor them.

How about focusing on your 26-year-old son having a MOTHER that respects and honors him instead of using and exploiting him to help achieve your own political goals Ms. Palin?

And, by the way Ms. Palin, everyone knows you hate to read anything other than the latest issue of Guns and Ammo, but take a look at the actual facts when it comes to President Obama's record on veterans.

Here's a summary:

  • Established advance appropriations for Veterans Health Care
  • Improved care and benefits for traumatic brain injury, post traumatic stress disorder, and mental health
  • Expanded VA's mental health programs, hiring in excess of 3,500 more mental health professionals since 2009
  • Expanded access to education
  • Created the returning heroes tax credit bill
  • Launched the Veterans Jobs Corps conservation program
  • Created the Veterans Job Bank
  • Established the National Veterans Entrepreneurship Training program
  • Launched Joining Forces—a comprehensive national initiative to mobilize all sectors of society to give service members and their families the opportunities and support they have earned
  • Provided housing relief to veterans and service members
  • Oversaw a 33 % decrease in veteran homelessness

Well, in fairness to Sarah Palin, she's probably just doing her duty as a white privileged American by blaming it on the black man.

For more entertainment, world, music and pop culture updates and news follow Max Page on Twitter


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track palin domestic violence arrest TrackPalin DomesticViolence Arrest—Testament To Sarah’s Fine Parenting

The Track Palin domestic violence arrest is surely testament to mom Sarah Palin’s fine parenting skills.

And, what fine parenting skills indeed—with daughter Bristol, an unmarried single parent, pregnant at 17 by one guy, then again at 24 by another, all while espousing abstinence as being the best path to preventing unwanted pregnancy—daughter Willow, a teen vandal who, along with her high school buddies, completely trashed a vacant home, resulting in a whopping $20-30,000 of damage—son Track, divorced at age 23, after just one year of marriage to a chick he knocked-up before they wed, facing allegations of abusing drugs, engaging in a drunken brawl at an Anchorage party resulting in his ribs being broken, and now charged with drunkenly beating-up his girlfriend all while waving around an assault rifle—now, that my friends is Family Values at its very best.

Good job Sarah! Good job!

Track was charged yesterday, with assault in the fourth degree (domestic violence), interfering with a report of domestic violence, and possession of a weapon while intoxicated—following a drunken attack on his girlfriend at his mom’s Wasilla, Alaska, home.

News of the latest Palin family scandal broke earlier today, as the 51-year-old former Alaska Governor, waited in the wings at an Iowa rally, preparing to get on stage and endorse her fellow hateful idiot Republican, Donald Trump.

Here's the police report:

On 01/18/2016 at approximately 2204 hours, Wasilla Police responded to a residence for a disturbance. An investigation revealed Track Palin had committed a domestic violence assault on a female, interfered with her ability to report a crime of domestic violence, and possessed a firearm while intoxicated.

Palin was arrested and charges of assault in the fourth degree (domestic violence), interfering with a domestic violence report, and misconduct involving weapons in the fourth degree were forwarded to the District Attorney’s Office. Palin was held without bail until arraignment.


According to the Daily News:

Track allegedly punched his girlfriend in the eye, kicked her in the knee and then held an AR-15 assault rifle near his head.

At one point, Track was “holding onto a gun, yelling ‘do you think I’m a p---y?’ and ‘do you think I won’t do it?’”


The victim was left with “bruising and swelling around her left eye” and “complained of pain to that area as well as to her right knee.”

Meanwhile, not surprisingly, Palin made no mention of her son’s arrest during her Trump endorsement speech today.

According to CNN:


The at times rambling 20-minute speech was filled with phrases like "pussy-footin'," "hallelujah" and "you betcha."

"Looking around at all of you, you hard working Iowa families, you farm families and teachers and teamsters and cops and cooks, you rock and rollers and holy rollers!" Palin said. "You all make the world go around and now our cause is one."

Palin and Trump—truly a match made in hate speech spewing clown heaven... you betcha!

For more entertainment, world, music and pop culture updates and news, follow Max Page on Twitter



bristol palin baby daddy drama New Palingate!

Bristol Palin's former fiance is being forced to take a paternity test in his bid for joint custody of her new baby, whose date of birth is now in question as well.

This is exciting news for those who followed the conspiracy theories surrounding the birth of Sarah Palin's youngest child, Trig, who was rumored to be the secret offspring of then teenager Bristol.

Ah, what a web we weave when our name is Palin!

Of COURSE Sarah Palin Blames Obama For Track’s Domestic Violence

Bristol was engaged to Dakota Meyer, a Marine Medal of Honor winner, for just two months last year before breaking up in May, days before their scheduled wedding.

She announced her pregnancy on her blog, expressing remorse for disappointing her parents with a second out-of-wedlock pregnancy. She had previously been a very vocal spokesperson for premarital abstinence

Later, Bristol wrote in her blog that the pregnancy was planned.

Meyer posted a photo of Bristol and the new baby on twitter, with the caption,

Best Christmas present ever!! I couldn't be more proud of this little blessing.

But now that Meyer has filed for joint custody, the Palins have circled their wagons. Sarah has stated that Meyer showed no interest in the pregnancy or birth until now, while failing to explain how he acquired the hospital photo of baby Sailor Grace and Bristol.

Conspiracy theorists have accused Bristol of faking the date of the baby's birth on December 23, claiming to have evidence that the real birth took place more than a month earlier in November.

The November birth-date might verify rumors of a fling Bristol had in Las Vegas last year on Valentine's Day, when she tweeted 'Just ruined my life!'

Whether or not Dakota Meyer is the baby's father, he has not only asked for joint custody but child support as well. Because Bristol has bank.

Bristol earned a six-figure income as a public speaker and national teenage abstinence advocate. She has also starred in Lifetime’s 'Bristol Palin:  Life’s a Tripp.' Her mother Sarah has reportedly made $23 million giving speeches and working for Fox news.

But Bristol has already been through custody battles with the father of her first child, Tripp. She knows the ropes. Even though she is apparently calling Meyer's paternity into question, she has this to say about his request for money:

My values are such that a real American hero doesn’t ask for child support.

Got that? Let it never be said that Bristol Palin has no values.

Weighing in on the Starbucks Holiday Cup controversy, Stupidity Ambassador™ Bristol Palin says the whole dust-up is a leftist plot to make Christians look stupid.

Bristol, Bristol. Calm yourself. Try responding analytically instead of emotionally.

Do we really need Starbucks to make Christians to look stupid when there's already you and your mom?

If the Starbucks Cup Controversy has managed to pass you by, we will break it down for you.

The cups this holiday season will be red and green, but they won't have little reindeer and snowflakes.

If you hate that Marxist Muslim President Obama, you are pretty damn mad about this. How dare the godless left wing in this country try to abolish Christmas, because of political correctness!!! Stock up on guns before Christianity is outlawed altogether.

If you're reasonably sane, you recognize that not all Starbucks patrons celebrate Christmas, and the company merely wishes to demonstrate its awareness of this fact. Starbucks has made the decision to respect the sensitivities of non-Christians with their non-denominational cups.

Fox News is extremely upset about these heathen cups. They see it as a sign of encroaching Communism and worse. Donald Trump suggested a boycott.

Everyone else is kind of, meh, just give me the fucking coffee.

But let's listen to Bristol Palin, who advises us to sidestep the Lame-stream Media-crafted controversy:

Do not buy in to the media hype surrounding this story!!  It is just another attempt by the LEFT to make Christians look stupid.

In other words, Bristol says, It's a left-wing conspiracy!

And here is her advice:

Christmas is a celebration of the birth of the Prince of Peace.  So how about we take the media’s attempt to make us all seem crazy and stupid, and turn it in to an opportunity to truly share the love of Christ with our neighbors and communities who are hurting so much this season.

Done, Bristol! Except for the part about Christ, because....oh, never mind.