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Kourtney Kardashian Is No Patagonia

Her Boohoo Sustainability Campaign Falls Short Of Helping Anyone

Boohoo By Kourtney Kardashian Barker show, Arrivals, Spring Summer 2023, New York Fashion Week, USA - 13 Sep 2022

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Oh, Kourtney. You make my job so difficult because I wanted to root for you. I was on board with you publicly tonguing Travis as long as you stayed out of trouble. Kylie’s supposed to be the one who emits tons of carbon dioxide with her private jet - and that’s it.

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Kanye West attends the Manus x Machina Fashion in an Age of Technology Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art

Photo by: By Ovidiu Hrubaru / Shutterstock

Everyone knows that it's a good and positive thing to find positivity and goodness in the world.

But not everyone is a visionary, once-in-a-generation genius capable of producing groundbreaking music, religious revival, and weird-looking shoes. If we were, then we would have come up with the party game—or "bored" game, as West punned—that Kanye and family showcased on this weekend's episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. The good news is, you don't have to be Kanye West, or even to know Kanye West, to play this game with your own loved ones.

The rules are simple. Keep your pockets stuffed with pocket dictionaries so that, when the mood strikes, you can produce and distribute said dictionaries to everyone who wants to play. The only other equipment you need to play is a heart full of love and a highlighter. Pick a page in the dictionary and have everyone flip to that page together. Now take a minute to go through that page in silence, everyone highlighting the words they think are "positive." Once everyone is done highlighting, it's time to convene and discuss your results with the group.

This is where the magic happens. Did everyone highlight "precious," but only one person highlighted "precarious?" Why did they do that? Do they not know how the game works, or do they not know what that word means? If they don't know what that word means, why didn't they just read the definition? More importantly, who the hell highlighted MAGA? There are no wrong answers, but they need to explain why they think something that no one agrees with.

As Kanye says, "This always sparks these kinds of conversations." "These kind of conversations" being disagreements about whether "barter" is technically positive, since it "could also introduce so many negative things," and an insistent request for an explanation of why Kim highlighted "basic"—"You're not wrong or right, I just want to know why."

Thrilling. This is not the first time Kanye has espoused the wonders of reading the dictionary. Apparently he uses this exercise to assist in the song-writing process for his Sunday services. And now that you know how to play at home, you and the people you love can unlock your own religious muses by debating the emotional value of words such as "tedious," "hector," and "discord."

My only issue with the game as demonstrated is the fact that not even one member of the group highlighted "barrel." Do they have any idea how useful barrels have been to human civilization?! Do they hate beer, and wine, and oil, and basically the entire history of seafaring? Don't they know the philosophical teachings of Diogenes the Cynic? Do they have some kind of issue with the cooper community? Or maybe they're just a bunch of morons who wouldn't know true positivity if it bit them on the ass!

I don't even want to play this game anymore! Not with that bunch of jerks! I'm going to my room!

Bios

Kourtney Kardashian

All you need to know.

Full Name: Kourtney Mary Kardashian

Date of Birth: April 18, 1979

Born: Los Angeles, California

Occupation: Reality TV star, model, businesswoman

Status: Single

Children: 3

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Kim Kardashian Was High on Ecstasy During Wedding and Infamous Ray J Tape

The reality star admits to dabbling in drugs in her teen years.

Evan Agostini/Invision/AP/Shutterstock

You probably think there's almost nothing you don't know about Kim Kardashian-West.

Whether you're a devoted fan of Keeping Up With the Kardashians or an unwilling victim of the media force-feeding you Kardashian content at every turn, Americans can hardly escape the siren call of the reality star's signature vocal fry. We're a nation bewitched by her every move and bizarre entrepreneurial pursuit, and each new nugget of information about the 38-year-old only drags us deeper into our obsession.

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Bios

Scott Disick

All you need to know.

Full Name: Scott Disick

Date of Birth: May 26, 1983

Born: Eastport, Long Island, NY

Occupation: TV personality, entrepreneur

Status: Single

Children: 3

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