The Suicide Squad

The official trailer for The Suicide Squad, the upcoming DC Comics film, was released today.

The Suicide Squad — not to be confused with the 2016 film, Suicide Squad — yet again centers around Harley Quinn, this time joined by Bloodsport, Peacemaker, Blackguard, and an array of convicts at Belle Reve penitentiary who, naturally, are all hired to destroy a different prison. Except this time, there's a Nazi subplot for some reason. The film is currently slated for release on August 6, 2021, in theaters and on HBO Max.

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Film Features

Chris Evans' Shade-Throwing Friend Is the Real Hero of "Captain America"

A behind-the-scenes clip shows Evans' friend Jon keeping him grounded.

Avengers Age of Ultron, Chris Evans

Jay Maidment/Marvel/Walt Disney/Kobal/Shutterstock

Have you ever wondered how Chris Evans stays so grounded?

He's handsome, charming, and has spent recent years as one of the highest paid actors in Hollywood for portraying a superhero — and actually having the physique to pull it off. And even after his character got his perfect ending in Avengers: Endgame, he's so popular that Marvel is reportedly trying to bring him back for at least one more movie — and possibly up to four.

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Warner Bros.

I have to get something off my chest, and no, it's not my luscious, curly chest hair.

As The Mary Sue point out in this enlightening article, Marvel apparently decides to shave almost all of their male superheroes' chests. As a dude sporting a pretty shaggy torso mat myself, I can't mince words here: Marvel's behavior is abhorrent, and I won't stand for it.

Everyone who's not a chud understands that body positivity––or at the very least, body acceptance––is, well, positive. In general, our media landscape has followed suit, if perhaps a little slowly. The cinematic landscape is far more diverse today than ever before, and a lot of that diversity centers around rejecting a uniform aesthetic of what is or is not attractive. And yet, as The Mary Sue illustrated, Marvel seems hellbent on telling hairy men that their chest hair is unwanted.

But here's where things get even worse for us forest-breasted lads: It's not just Marvel sending this message of hate.

Take Jason Momoa, for instance. Here's a man with some nice chest hair. Just look at his chest hair as Khal Drogo. That's the kind of chest hair one would expect from a barbarian warlord.

Khal DrogoHBO

Now look at him in DC's Aquaman.

Aquaman ShirtlessWarner Bros.

Undoubtedly, DC made a conscious decision to shave Jason Momoa's chest hair. But why? Is it because swimmers often shave their body hair in order to glide more easily through the water?

Okay, fine. Well, then explain this. Here's Joaquin Phoenix, a handsome man with some nice chest pubix, in You Were Never Really Here.

Joaquin Phoenix ShirtlessAmazon Studios

Now, here's Joaquin Phoenix shirtless in Joker. Can you tell what's missing?

Joker ShirtlessWarner Bros.

Yeah, that's right, no chest hair. Don't even try to tell me that Arthur Fleck just randomly decided to shave his chest during a mental episode, because I don't buy that for a second. The chest shaving of The Joker is an intentional effort by DC to show us that the ideal male body does not have an ounce of pec hair.

But I don't think Marvel, DC, and whatever other hairless superpowered smut purveyors are in it alone. No, I think the rabbit hole goes deeper.

Considering the fact that we live in a capitalist hellscape, what if (and this is just a theory) superhero movies were marketing all their male heroes as bare-chested in an attempt to sell razors? What if the true mastermind behind all these no-chest hair superheroes was Gillette?

Okay, I know that's crazy. It's not like there's…

Marvel GilletteGillette

Oh.

DC Comics GilletteGillette

Oh boy. This is it. Not only has Gillette collaborated with both Marvel and DC on superhero-themed razors, but they also started #TheBestASuperHeroCanGet campaign in what can only be summed up as a hate crime against voluminously stranded men.

If we men take any pride in the strands around our nips, we cannot let this stand. No longer will we let Gillette and their cabal of superhero capitalists tell us that the only male beauty is the hairless kind. We must rise up and throw our razors in the trash. We must pinch our bountiful locks in our fingers and shout, "I'm a hairy man, and that makes me beautiful." Then, at last, we must throw our superhero Blu-rays in the trash. #HairyANDSuper

TV News

The "Captain Marvel" Backlash Isn't Sexist—That's Just the Internet

Brie Larson said she works with "overwhelmingly white males," but everything's fine and probably no one's mad.

Brie Larson at the World premiere of 'Captain Marvel'

Photo by Tinseltown (Shutterstock)

Brie Larson is no one's "social justice warrior," but try telling that to the irate Captain Marvel reviewers on Rotten Tomatoes.

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Film News

Spider-Man: Far From Home Trailer—Untangling the Villains

Find out who the baddies are in the new Spider-Man movie.

In a shocking spoiler for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the new Spider-Man: Far From Home trailer reveals Peter Parker is alive and well.

Just kidding, everybody already knew Peter Parker wasn't actually permanently dissolved at the end of Infinity War—not when another Spider-Man sequel had been announced before that movie even hit theaters. Sure, we'll have to wait until Endgame to discover the exact mechanics of how you can rebuild a person from a pile of cosmic dust, but rest assured, Spider-Man will be back. And when he is, he'll be vacationing in Europe.

Spider-Man: Far From Home will follow Peter Parker (Tom Holland) and his friends as they travel abroad for summer vacation. Peter just wants a break from being Spider-Man, a totally understandable request from a high school kid who recently got murdered by a giant purple alien man. But uh-oh, trouble's a' brewing overseas. No sooner has Peter started to woo his crush MJ (Zendaya) when some giant elemental monsters tear up the town. What's a web-slinging superhero to do? Why, put on a new costume and team up with Mysterio (Jake Gyllenhaal in a crazy cyber-suit), of course!

Who are the new villains?

The most exciting part of any superhero movie are the villains, and Spider-Man: Far From Home gets instant points for using new ones outside of the usual staples: Doc Ock, Rhino, Sandman, and Venom. This time, Spider-Man is up against the Elementals, a group of four extradimensional beings who, as their moniker suggests, have control over various elements.

There's Hydron, with the the power to control water.

Magnum, with the power to control earth.

Zephyr, with the power to control air.

And Hellfire. You can figure out what he does.

The group, created by writer Tony Isabella and artist Val Mayerik, debuted in Supernatural Thrillers #8 (August 1974) for an 8-issue run, briefly fought Ms. Marvel for two issues of her series in 1977, and subsequently never appeared again. Until now.

So far, we've only seen the powers of Hydron and, most likely, Magnum (although many people are mistaking his powers in the trailer for Sandman). But the others are sure to follow.

***ACTUAL SPOILERS AHEAD, PROBABLY***

Of course, the main villain is probably Mysterio.

And as the main villain of a major movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Mysterio is a fantastic choice. One of the oldest Spider-Man villains (created by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko and debuted in The Amazing Spider-Man #13 in June 1964), Mysterio has no actual powers. Rather, he's a master of special effects and illusion, a Hollywood stuntman turned supervillain. How perfect for a real Hollywood movie!

In the comics, Mysterio is often a punchline of sorts, usually foiled by his own hubris. But in Spider-Man: Far From Home, it's entirely possible Jake Gyllenhaal will turn the character into a truly sinister threat.

How will Mysterio's misdeeds factor into the attacks on Europe? Are the Elementals real or simply his illusions? We'll have to wait until July 5, 2019 to find out. In the meantime, check out the trailer above.


Dan Kahan is a writer & screenwriter from Brooklyn, usually rocking a man bun. Find more at dankahanwriter.com


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Why Are 10 Superhero Films Coming Out in 2019?

Are superhero movies simply bad or a cultural pestilence?

S

Photo by Massimo Virgilio-Unsplash

Looking back at 2018, escapism in the cinema seems alive and well.

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