Culture Feature

6 of the Best Comedy Bits Spawned from Donald Trump's Insanity

A tribute to the people who have made the last 500 years a little more bearable.

Donald Trump quotes said by Zapp Brannigan. Part 3!

With the election behind us, and the Trump team's spurious legal cases being thrown out of court left and right, it's beginning to look like America will finally be able to leave the Trump era behind.

As many problems as we are still going to face after January 20th, it's a relief to know that we will no longer have to think, "Oh, god, he's the president..." every time Donald Trump says or tweets something offensive, dangerous, or moronic.

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Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers -

Normally, we think of horror movies as based on true events, not the other way around.

But on a number of occasions, horror movies have actually inspired or predicted real-life occurrences.

While the vast majority of violent events occur without the influence of movies, and while most people who watch scary movies do not become violent afterwards, every once in awhile, life really does imitate art. Here are eight terrifying and gory examples of times that scary movies crept their way into reality.

1. The Orphan

Kendall Rae -

Natalia Grace

The tale of Natalia Grace, the girl with dwarfism abandoned by her adoptive parents, has been all over the news lately. According to Natalia's parents, the 9-year-old they believed they adopted was actually a 22-year-old, sociopathic adult woman. Doctors have apparently been unable to determine her actual age.

If this story sounds familiar, you might be thinking of the 2009 film Orphan, directed by Jaume Collet-Serra. In that film, a 9-year-old adopted child named Esther is revealed to be...a wicked, sociopathic 33-year-old woman with dwarfism.


Mortal Kombat 11 really knows what it's doing when it comes to DLC.

Alongside new costumes and fresh story content (as if anyone cares about about the story in a game centered around pulling people's spines out of their faces), Mortal Kombat 11 has been releasing a steady stream of guest characters. Thus far, Joker, Spawn, and The Terminator have all graced Mortal Kombat's hellish arenas, each one bringing their unique flair for making bodies bleed as much as possible. But of all the potential characters from all the existing franchises, no character is capable of shooting a dude until he literally explodes quite like RoboCop.

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Warner Bros.

I have to get something off my chest, and no, it's not my luscious, curly chest hair.

As The Mary Sue point out in this enlightening article, Marvel apparently decides to shave almost all of their male superheroes' chests. As a dude sporting a pretty shaggy torso mat myself, I can't mince words here: Marvel's behavior is abhorrent, and I won't stand for it.

Everyone who's not a chud understands that body positivity––or at the very least, body acceptance––is, well, positive. In general, our media landscape has followed suit, if perhaps a little slowly. The cinematic landscape is far more diverse today than ever before, and a lot of that diversity centers around rejecting a uniform aesthetic of what is or is not attractive. And yet, as The Mary Sue illustrated, Marvel seems hellbent on telling hairy men that their chest hair is unwanted.

But here's where things get even worse for us forest-breasted lads: It's not just Marvel sending this message of hate.

Take Jason Momoa, for instance. Here's a man with some nice chest hair. Just look at his chest hair as Khal Drogo. That's the kind of chest hair one would expect from a barbarian warlord.

Khal DrogoHBO

Now look at him in DC's Aquaman.

Aquaman ShirtlessWarner Bros.

Undoubtedly, DC made a conscious decision to shave Jason Momoa's chest hair. But why? Is it because swimmers often shave their body hair in order to glide more easily through the water?

Okay, fine. Well, then explain this. Here's Joaquin Phoenix, a handsome man with some nice chest pubix, in You Were Never Really Here.

Joaquin Phoenix ShirtlessAmazon Studios

Now, here's Joaquin Phoenix shirtless in Joker. Can you tell what's missing?

Joker ShirtlessWarner Bros.

Yeah, that's right, no chest hair. Don't even try to tell me that Arthur Fleck just randomly decided to shave his chest during a mental episode, because I don't buy that for a second. The chest shaving of The Joker is an intentional effort by DC to show us that the ideal male body does not have an ounce of pec hair.

But I don't think Marvel, DC, and whatever other hairless superpowered smut purveyors are in it alone. No, I think the rabbit hole goes deeper.

Considering the fact that we live in a capitalist hellscape, what if (and this is just a theory) superhero movies were marketing all their male heroes as bare-chested in an attempt to sell razors? What if the true mastermind behind all these no-chest hair superheroes was Gillette?

Okay, I know that's crazy. It's not like there's…

Marvel GilletteGillette


DC Comics GilletteGillette

Oh boy. This is it. Not only has Gillette collaborated with both Marvel and DC on superhero-themed razors, but they also started #TheBestASuperHeroCanGet campaign in what can only be summed up as a hate crime against voluminously stranded men.

If we men take any pride in the strands around our nips, we cannot let this stand. No longer will we let Gillette and their cabal of superhero capitalists tell us that the only male beauty is the hairless kind. We must rise up and throw our razors in the trash. We must pinch our bountiful locks in our fingers and shout, "I'm a hairy man, and that makes me beautiful." Then, at last, we must throw our superhero Blu-rays in the trash. #HairyANDSuper


Is The Bronx Safe for Tourists Flocking to the "Joker Stairs"?

Like the "Rocky steps" in Philadelphia and the horrible "Friends" apartment building in the West Village, the "Joker stairs" are now a hot tourist attraction.

Photo by Roy Rafael (Unsplash)

On Google Maps, the Bronx staircase at 167th Street is now labeled "Joker Stairs."

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During Joaquin Phoenix's recent appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live to promote his upcoming Joker movie, Kimmel played an "outtake" from the film wherein Joaquin Phoenix went off on a cinematographer named Larry for whispering.

Watch the clip, and Joaquin Phoenix's seemingly mortified reaction. Then ask yourself: Is Joaquin Phoenix joking?

I've watched it five times now, and I honestly have no idea. Joaquin Phoenix is a really great actor and, as proven by his press junket for I'm Still Here, he's been known to stretch the boundaries between fiction and reality. Remember I'm Still Here? As in the 2010 mockumentary directed by Casey Affleck as he "follows Joaquin Phoenix as he carries out a plan to retire from acting and concentrate on a new career as a hip-hop musician?" Did I imagine that whole campaign of amazing insanity? Both Affleck and Phoenix promoted the hoax film in the press with deadpan sincerity. At one point in I'm Still Here, Phoenix has a brilliant, fake breakdown after guest-starring on David Letterman. Do we remember this? Joaquin Phoenix f*cking loves fake-out breakdowns.

I'm Still Here (10/12) Movie CLIP - Post-Letterman Breakdown (2010)

As such, if an actor was going to stage a fake on-set freakout and then engineer a scenario wherein he gets exposed on live television, that actor would almost definitely be Joaquin Phoenix. It's also kind of in-line with the entire concept behind Joker, right?

But on the other hand, Joaquin Phoenix also seems like the kind of guy who would legitimately freakout at a cinematographer for whispering on set. His embarrassment seems pretty genuine, too. But also, he's a very good actor, so he might just be acting. I really just don't know.