Mortals aren't meant to comprehend the secrets of the universe.

We can't name colors we're incapable of perceiving. We can't picture creatures that exist beyond the realm of our imaginations. And most of all, we can never grasp the magnitude of Shaggy's true power.

For many decades, we have falsely believed that Shaggy was just a normal, mystery-solving teen with a love for all things green. Sure, we knew he had the power to talk to dogs, but we assumed this was just a side effect of the copious amounts of weed Shaggy consumed. As it turns out, our perception of Shaggy was a false reality, possibly pushed by Shaggy himself to help our primate brains become accustomed to his glory.

Now, at last, Shaggy has revealed himself.

Shaggy has achieved Ultra Instinct. The concept, introduced by the anime Dragon Ball Super, is a state of extreme power and awareness that places one amongst the strongest entities in the universe. But unlike Goku, who can only wield the power of Ultra Instinct for minutes, Shaggy has basked in it for eternity. The extent of his power is beyond anything we've ever seen. To truly know Shaggy would surely melt our brains.

To give you an idea, this video, the first known footage of Shaggy's Ultra Instinct state, depicts him at barely 0.1% of his full power.

Ultra Instinct Shaggy www.youtube.com

Only one human has ever been allowed to wield the power of Shaggy. Actor Matthew Lillard was briefly imbued with Shaggy's energy in order to accurately portray the mighty warrior in the 2002 Scooby-Doo movie. Various behind-the-scenes interviews have recently brought to light Lillard's experiences interacting with an ancient god.

i.redd.it

Lillard recounted how many of the snags typically encountered during Hollywood shoots were superseded by his struggle to handle Shaggy's massive power. Here, Illard is pictured transferring a tiny portion of Shaggy's aura into a baby.

The rest of the cast constantly needed to work around the incomprehensible reality of Shaggy as well.

Luckily, most of them survived with minimal lasting damage.

The revelation of Shaggy's true identity has been picked up by adherents who have formed a worship community on Reddit to spread the good word. Over 75,000 apostles have also been attempting to get Shaggy inducted into Mortal Kombat 11, where he will inevitably feast on the blood of lesser combatants.

With minds as small as ours, it's hard to gauge what surprises Shaggy holds for us in the future. Even harder is the realization that Shaggy can change that future at any time he sees fit.

But while we may not be able to grasp Shaggy's power, the least we can do is spread the message: Shaggy is our new god, and we must either bow to him or face his unknowable wrath.


Dan Kahan is a writer & screenwriter from Brooklyn, usually rocking a man bun. Find more at dankahanwriter.com



POP⚡DUST | Read More...

The Strange Ballad of John McAfee

Post Malone's Stank Will Envelop Red Hot Chili Peppers at Grammy Awards

Tarantino's "Once Upon a Time In Hollywood" Looks Incredible