CULTURE

You Can't Change My Mind: Astrology Is Worse Than Nonsense

People invest their money and their lives in a system that's based on nothing

If, within ten minutes of us meeting, you were to tell me your star sign, your rising sign, and your time of birth, I would already know so much about you.

I would know that you believe in astrology.

What astrology promises is almost irresistible. With one fact about you—run through a system of intricate calculations to pinpoint your place in the universe—you can uncover wisdom about your love life, your career, your emotions, your future. It's both a personality test and a fortune in one. It's the best way to discover who you truly are and to help you navigate your life. With the amount of anxiety and uncertainty that rules our lives, having a system in place that you can rely on for answers and support is huge. For even the few among us who have actual friends we can talk to in times of crisis, serious and unequivocal advice is hard to come by. Horoscopes, though? Horoscopes are everywhere.

Mercury in retrograde

And actually, there are some real differences that arise based on the time of year you were born. A variety of factors, including Vitamin D levels in early development, the mother's activity during gestation, and your age relative to your classmates' can influence everything from temperament to athleticism to developmental disorders. No doubt people have been observing these differences for as long as societies have existed, and they've attempted to codify them into different systems of understanding. Likewise, since time began people have been obsessed with tracking the movement of heavenly bodies and their relationship to seasonal changes. The mash-up of the two was inevitable, but there is no possible cause and effect there. Your fate is not connected to the passage of the sun between the earth and a random assemblage of constellations.

That said, you really can't blame people who get sucked in. The power of wishful thinking makes a strong cocktail in combination with coincidence, genuine observation, and so-called Foer Barnum statements like, "You often have great ideas that you just never have the motivation to follow through on." These are the sort of assertions that astrologers can safely make, because they are designed to seem more personal than they actually are. They tap into a common tendency expressed in another Barnum statement: "You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others." We all hold back to a certain extent. No one likes to be fully open and emotionally vulnerable in their day-to-day lives. When these hidden commonalities are tied to a mystical identity, it can feel like our place in the universe has meaning—like we are seen and known by forces that extend beyond us and connect us to the mysteries of existence. Cool.

Universe connection

If that was all that astrology was—that comforting sense of a vague spiritual connection—I would have no problem with it. But Astrology did not become a $2 billion industry with that kind of innocent, half-believed fun. Popular apps like Co–Star and the Pattern seem relatively harmless in and of themselves, but far too many Astrologers prey on people who rely on the accuracy and wisdom of their "insights." If you pay to get a detailed chart for fun, and your astrologer does not offer a disclaimer that the information is imprecise and open to broad interpretation, then you are supporting a career scam artist who is recklessly disseminating advice that will be taken as gospel, and—even more than actual gospel—is based on virtually nothing.

Think about when you give advice to a close friend in a time of crisis. Occasionally there will be an iron-clad course of action that you can offer without reservation—ask for a raise, drink more water, leave the abusive partner—but more often than not, life's big problems require nuance and careful weighing of imperfect answers. It may be comforting to get an infallible directive from the universe, but it erases the uncertainty that really ought to be there—uncertainty that can be stressful, but is nonetheless a natural and healthy part of life.

And because of the casual users who prop up the industry, there are thousands of gullible people who feel comfortable to take it all too seriously—whose lives are under the sway of Bronze Age interpretation of stars and planets that predates even the basic knowledge of the scale of the night sky, or even what those celestial objects are. If this seems overblown, keep in mind that it wasn't too long ago that the President of the United States was basing high-level planning on the advice of a celebrity astrologist. Is that worse than leaving national security in the hands of a narcissistic Twitter addict? Probably not, but it's definitely not great. Under the guise of wisdom and comfort, this kind of advice adds a layer of chaos into an already chaotic, messy, and frightening world.

Ronald Reagan

To bring the point home, it's worth laying out the underlying theory of how Astrological systems supposedly control the course of our lives. Leaving aside the fact that there is no evidence for the effects that the movement of the heavens supposedly have on earthly events, how is the whole system supposed to work? According to Astrology, each year on a given date, the sun will be in the same place in the sky (it's not). As a result, a baby born on that day will be affected by the energies of the constellations and planets visibly near the sun's position…for reasons. Those energies, somehow linked to the four elements, will leave an indelible impression on that baby that will shape its personality for the rest of its life and determine the effect of future heavenly movements.

The major problem, apart from the questionable nature of those energies (some point to gravitation or electromagnetism, which begs the question of how a passing truck or a nearby lightbulb might also alter the baby's fate), is that the stars that make up constellations have literally nothing to do with each other. The idea that they are connected makes as much sense as the idea that your friend was really holding up the tower of Pisa in that picture. It's an optical illusion.

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With some rare exceptions, they are actually many light-years distant from one another—in front or behind—with nothing to link them in an actual formation or to connect them with one element or another. If we could see those same stars from any other solar system, their apparent proximity would disappear. So why would they give off any unified energy? Their shapes only exist from our limited visual perspective and with the additional framework of ancient myths. To accept astrology is to deny the real composition of the universe. Worse yet, the sun isn't even where traditional, outdated charts say it's supposed to be. Stars move over time, as does the Earth's path around the sun, and the charts are centuries old. This led to the 2017 controversy of an updated astrological calendar that was roundly rejected by people who passionately identify with the sign they've invested years in.

scorpios

If you can read all that and still believe that the fact that I was born on November 7th is a determining factor in my writing this article, you may be beyond help. I just hope that you don't throw your money away on it. Also… that's not my real birthday. Try to guess it based on my personality.

Photo by Chris Abney Unsplash

Recently I've noticed that a significant percentage of the women I look up to seem to own a lot of plants.

There also seems to be a clear overlap between women who have overcome difficulties to find happiness and women who own and care for huge rooms of green, glorious ferns, shoots, and sprawling palms.

This New Year's Eve, Maisie Williams added herself to the list when she posted about her newfound love for gardening.

"2020 will probably be filled with more days spent tending our pot plant children which sounds perfect to me," she wrote in an inspiring Instagram post, which also detailed her journey into the land of self-love and self-actualization. (I don't think she was talking about *that* kind of pot, but the message is overall quite inspiring).

One of my all-time idols, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, is also open about her plants (and how they connect to her own growth). The congresswoman has spoken out about how her gardening hobby is a form of "self-care" and "mindfulness," and in one Instagram story, she wrote, "I feel like plants are a great accountability partner because they literally die if you don't take time to tend to yourself and to them."

GND Gardening - @ocasio2018

The examples go on and on. Sex-positive activist and artist Favianna Rodriguez also has a lot to say about the benefits of gardening. In a post about how her life has changed a year after leaving an abusive relationship, she wrote, "I focused on unlearning my patterns and creating new practices and ways of being. The most powerful thing I did was to shift my attention to doing things for myself, like having plants, having a garden, masturbating much more, and adopting a plant-based diet. By shifting towards ways I could love myself, either through my own body or my environment, I was learning new ways of being."

What I notice about many plant-loving women is that their love of plants seems to coincide with a personal growth trajectory, a movement towards internal healing and taking up space. This doesn't seem like a coincidence.

The Plant Girl: The New VSCO Girl, or Something More?

I've heard whispers of a "plant-girl" prototype around social media, which makes me worried that plant-owning has or will just become another act of performative wellness—like Kylie Jenner lips or fitbloggers. It's already been connected to millennials, whom the New York Times recently accused of "opting to fill their voids — both decorative and emotional — with houseplants." Even worse, it might become a new version of the #VSCOGirl stereotype, a meaningless term that somehow became yet another way of putting down teen girls on the Internet.

Still, something about all the posts tagged #plantgirl feels—if not outside of Instagram capitalism and media commodification then, at the least, not streamlined to fit into it. A lot of them are grainy and slightly out of focus. They seem to be taken by people whose phones don't capture everything in magical high-definition. Different from the cabin or van-bloggers, plant-tenders seem less focused on external beauty, more focused on internal growth, small moments, and reclaiming stolen space.

Certainly, this work is not easy. Being a plant girl seems like a lot of effort—just like being AOC is certainly a lot of work, or finding self-love after a childhood spent on Game of Thrones is probably also a moderate amount of work. But maybe that's the point. Plants yield a little oxygen, a little greenery, and sometimes a little nourishment; they don't provide the immediate thrill that so many of us are conditioned to seek out in our daily lives, and instead require repetitive yet careful attention. There is no end-point to their growth. In a world where we're all constantly seeking that dopamine rush of success, maybe plants could be part of the antidote.

I'm sure that men and people of all genders could benefit greatly from plant-growing; the "plant girl" or "plant lady" archetype doesn't necessarily have to be gendered. Also, many plant-growers don't use social media or have been growing plants for generations, of course.

But I'm interested in that specific intersection between healing and femininity and coming-of-age in the twenty-first century because I think survival during this time might be found at some crossroads between these things. If plants aren't the key, they might be vital hints.

Gardening: An Old Trick for Modern Times

The fact that gardening is beneficial for your health is not news, and indeed, it's been proven many times that the benefits of plant-keeping are innumerable. Gardening can work as a counter to the toxicity of modern life in so many ways—for example, the simple act of putting your hands in soil can be a valuable balm for the monotony of the cubicle life. "When you sit at a desk all day, there's something about literally putting your hands in the dirt, digging, and actually creating something that's really beautiful," said seasoned gardener Gillian Aldrich.

Gardening can also combat attention fatigue that stems from our overwhelming 24/7 news cycle. In a world where we're constantly asked to devote our total attention to flickering stories and images, the persistence of a steadfast potted plant can be immensely healing.

Growing A Jungle In My New York Apartmentwww.youtube.com

Gardening can also help alleviate symptoms of depression, dementia, bipolar disorder, and much more, according to a multitude of studies. If you've got an outdoor garden, the benefits of spending time outside are countless.

But indoor houseplants can also be vital in terms of removing toxins from the air and even boosting your mood. One recent study even found that women who live their lives surrounded by plants lived significantly longer and had better mental health than those who did not. And horticulture therapy, a practice that uses gardening as a form of healing, has been used for hundreds of years and has helped everyone from returning veterans to hospice patients to suffering communities.

Of course, plants have been used as medicine since ancient times. Though the scientific community is just waking up to the benefits of things like psychedelics and the importance of the mind-body connection, this is age-old knowledge.

Many people who do use psychedelics report feeling a deep, profound connection to nature, and some even report that they can hear plants speaking while on the drug. While growing your own plants isn't the same as actually communing with them, many people have long believed that plants can interact with humans on subconscious levels, realigning negative wavelengths just as they convert carbon into oxygen and sunlight into energy.

Secret life of Plants 1978www.youtube.com


We All Need to Start Gardens

Not all of us can be Maisie Williams or AOC, and not all of us can suddenly change our lives and start gardens and suddenly heal.

Personally, I know I'm not yet ready to be a plant mom. I'm still too irresponsible to risk anything other than a few succulents. Also, plants are expensive and require a certain amount of care and intuition that many people simply cannot afford in this day and age, even if they could gladly provide it.

But is it so stupid to imagine that this paradigm could change and that in the future, more of us might have gardens? That more of us might live more sustainably? That more of us might be content with small victories, with tending to things rather than forcing them into doomed spirals of exponential growth? Is it stupid to imagine that someday, I might be a plant lady? Is it crazy to imagine that the planet could heal?

Maybe it is—maybe we're doomed—but then again, every forest starts with a single seed. I'm sure my desire to start a garden is really emblematic of a desire to take better care of myself and the world around me. I think it's connected to a fear of what's happened to the planet, as we can see in the Australian bushfires that are ripping apart the Australian continent, and a desire to ground myself in the beauty of the earth if only to remember what matters now and then.

I think Hayley Heynderickx puts it best in the song "Oom Sha La La," off her debut LP, I Need to Start A Garden. "I'm tired of my mind getting heavy with mold," she sings, and then her voice shifts to a scream. "I need to start a garden." She shouts the last line over and over again as the music builds.

It's the sound of panic—and of hope, placed in the earth one seed at a time, with care and dedication, and in faith that someday, something might grow.