Let these distilled doses of 1990s advertising take you back to a simpler time, when pizza came on a bagel and hair came in a can.
The field of advertising is designed to plant its simple ideas deep inside your subconscious.
As a result, your brain is overflowing with jingles, images, and snippets of commercial dialogue that you absorbed like a sponge through the hundreds of hours of TV you watched in your childhood.
While this has probably crowded out useful knowledge and skills like your CPR training, or the name of that cousin you see every few years, it does have the bonus of tapping straight into nostalgia. Short of the smell of your childhood home, there is probably nothing better than an old commercial to transport you back in time, away from the horrors and crises of the present.
With that in mind, let's not waste any more time on the intro—because you really need this right now.
In the late '90s, Popsicle ran a series of ads with sardonic talking dogs and nightmarish effects akin to the well-documented body horror of the Gushers canon. According to the logic of these commercials, eating a popsicle coated in sprinkles would cover you and your dog in sprinkles.
Each commercial featured a different horrific transformation. This gem includes the memorable line, Tthe colors, Duke, the colors!" and the dog's response: "I'm color blind, kid."
Now don't you feel like a kid again? And don't you want to buy all that stuff?
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