Sex and Alcohol Addiction and the Aftermath of Abuse Have Taken a Toll on the Former Spice Girl
Never shy to share her story, Mel B of Spice Girls and America's Got Talent fame, is speaking out about personal demons and dependency.
Once known as "Scary Spice," Mel B is dealing with what must be far more frightening – coming to terms with
PTSD from an "emotionally abusive" relationship with her ex as well as addictions to sex and alcohol.
Judging America's Got Talent cdn.cnn.com
In the midst of writing a book entitled Brutally Honest, the entertainer took a deep look inside and knew she needed help. As per CBS News, Mel B hit a "crisis point" as she reflected on her past pain. As per CBS News, "Brown said that she has been 'drinking to numb [my] pain.' She continued, 'Sometimes it is too hard to cope with all the emotions I feel. But the problem has never been about sex or alcohol — it is underneath all that.' She then revealed that she was recently diagnosed with PTSD, and is undergoing treatment for it."
With the Spice Girls vh1.mtvnimages.com
The 43-year-old will be checking into a rehab clinic in the UK sometime next month, noting, "The past six months have been incredibly difficult for me. But I am working on being a better version of myself for my kids - whom I love more than life itself - and for all the people who have supported me," as told to The Sun. But even as she is at a low point, Mel B wants the world to know it's OK to address and openly talk about such issues, seek proper help, and find a light at the end of what seems like an endless tunnel. She shared, "I am speaking about this because this is a huge issue for so many people. I am still struggling but if I can shine a light on the issue of pain, PTSD and the things men and women do to mask it, I will."
Mel B and her ex, Stephen Belafonte have been in a public feud surrounding their split – from abuse allegations to custody battles to spousal support to rumors of being forced into sexual scenarios. Additionally, as Page Six reports, "In documents previously obtained by Page Six, Belafonte accused Mel B of having substance abuse issues. Belafonte also alleged that Mel B was often intoxicated in front of her children." They parted ways last year but there still doesn't seem to be any peace in the picture.
With ex Belafonte and children mtonews.com
Between allegations, accusations, and animosity, only Mel B and Belafonte know what really happened during the course of their relationship. What matters now is that Mel B gets the help she realized she needed so desperately. Her family supports her; her mother tweeting, "I'm so proud of my daughter. She has the courage to face her demons head on and deal with them. I know what hell she has been through and I know what trauma she has suffered and still suffers. Do not judge…"
We wish you well Mel B. Concentrate on your clarity and coming through healthier and happier.
Melissa A. Kay is a New York-based writer, editor, and content strategist. Follow her work on Popdust as well as sites including TopDust, Chase Bank, P&G, Understood.org, The Richest, GearBrain, The Journiest, Bella, TrueSelf, Better Homes & Gardens, AMC Daycare, and more.
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Plus celebrities react to Nigerian protests.
Young people across Nigeria have been pouring into the streets for the last two weeks to protest police brutality, specifically the controversial special police force known as the Special Anti-Robbery Squad (SARS).
Tension came to a head on Tuesday when armed forces fired on protestors in Lagos, the biggest city in Nigeria, who were out past the state-mandated curfew. According to AP News, "Police also fired tear gas at one point, and smoke could be seen billowing from several areas in the city's center. Two private TV stations were forced off the air at least temporarily as their offices were burned."
Not all non-binary people prefer gender-neutral pronouns.
October 21, 2020 marks the third annual International Pronouns Day.
Created by an independent board and first observed in 2018, it's one of those small commemorative holidays that trends on Twitter in hopes of drawing attention to a pressing social issue, like International Women's Day (March 8th) or the ever so serious National Taco Day (October 4).
But Pronouns Day in particular "seeks to make respecting, sharing, and educating about personal pronouns commonplace." The organization's website further describes, "Referring to people by the pronouns they determine for themselves is basic to human dignity. Being referred to by the wrong pronouns particularly affects transgender and gender nonconforming people. Together, we can transform society to celebrate people's multiple, intersecting identities."
But in the words of nonbinary activist and Trevor Project's Head of Advocacy and Government Afairs, Sam Brenton, "Pronouns are hard." Never before have pronouns been scrutinized as closely as they are in 2019 for their power to (in)validate or accurately describe something as fluid as gender identity. In fact, it was only this year that the Merriam-Webster Dictionary expanded the definition of "they" "to refer to a single person whose gender identity is nonbinary" (thus codifying a long history in English language of using "they" to refer to a singular non-gendered entity).
‘Everyone has the responsibility to be respectful.’ — The @TrevorProject’s Sam Brinton is explaining why pronouns a… https://t.co/pMMO8KRvBR— NowThis (@NowThis)1571253180.0
But throwing an additional wrench in the works is the fact that not all non-binary people prefer gender-neutral pronouns.
Take me, for instance: Despite having female biology, I couldn't pass a lie detector test saying I'm a "woman." But my pragmatic, Puritan family is still endearingly confused by the idea of "liberal arts," let alone the notion of gender fluidity. And I'd rather share a communal language with them than do the emotional and mental labor of re-orienting their worldview for them. Plus, I have the privilege of passing as female without feeling too, too, terribly dysphoric (which non-binary people can definitely suffer from, despite not identifying as trans).
But enough about me, look at Queer Eye's beloved Jonathan Van Ness. While he's been outspoken about being genderqueer, gay, and HIV positive, he prefers he/him pronouns. "The older I get, the more I think that I'm nonbinary," Van Ness said. "I'm gender nonconforming. Like, some days I feel like a man, but then other days I feel like a woman." As he told Out magazine, he doesn't identify as a man, but he does prefer "he/him/his" pronouns. In his view, those pronouns don't detract from or contradict his non-binary identity, because gender is not about simple binaries between masculine and feminine identifiers. "Any opportunity I have to break down stereotypes of the binary, I am down for it, I'm here for it," he said. "I think that a lot of times gender is used to separate and divide. It's this social construct that I don't really feel like I fit into the way I used to."
On the other hand, last month non-binary singer Sam Smith announced that their preferred pronouns are "they/them." Smith posted to Instagram, "I've decided I am changing my pronouns to THEY/THEM ❤ after a lifetime of being at war with my gender I've decided to embrace myself for who I am, inside and out." People like Smith and Trevor Project's Sam Brenton simply feel more validated, seen, heard, and true to themselves with gender-neutral pronouns. Smith wrote, "I'm so excited and privileged to be surrounded by people that support me in this decision but I've been very nervous about announcing this because I care too much about what people think but f*ck it!"
Most importantly, as pretty much every non-binary person and activist is aware, changing cultural norms is hard. While LGBTQ+ activism is inspired and passionate and dedicated to expanding human rights to all gender identities, we all know that changing society's entire understanding of gender and pronoun usage is about slowly opening minds. As Smith wrote, "I understand there will be many mistakes and mis gendering but all I ask is you please please try. I hope you can see me like I see myself now. Thank you." Happy Pronouns Day to you/him/her/they/(f)aer/zim.