Image via SKY/HBO Max

Updated 12/12/22

Well, we couldn't have been more wrong. After weeks of theorizing, White Lotus has come to another nail-biting, tragic end that no one saw coming. I mean, the whole episode gave me raging anxiety. Let's dig in.

It turns out all Ethan and Cam had to do to solve their marital problems was sleep with each other's wives. Oh, and the scene where Daphne finds out about it all and plots her revenge within 10 seconds? Give Meghann Fahy her Emmy now.

Perhaps one of the biggest surprises of the night was discount Harry Jowsey -- AKA Jack -- deciding to spare Portia's life despite her outfit choices. And of course, she and Albie connect over their failed love attempts.

But, all good things must fall apart. Of course, Jennifer Coolidge's beloved Tanya character had to die in the most Tanya way. But not before finding out she's actually a pretty good shot. And might I add, there were steps RIGHT THERE. I'm putting in my personal request for Mike White to fit her into Season 3 somehow, as is rumored in Japan.

If you want to see how our editors completely missed the mark...read on!

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Trending

Is the Cinnamon Toast Shrimp Tails Guy a Liar, Serial Abuser?

Yet another weird viral story that was hiding (even more) disgusting layers beneath its surface.

Milkshake Duck. Zoom Cat Lawyer. And now, Cinnamon Toast Shrimp Tails Guy.

There is an alarming tendency for the Internet to thrust a seemingly random assemblage of nouns — always including a small animal — into strange viral stories, only to have the central figure in said stories revealed as a secret villain.

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The Parks And Recreation Cast Sings - Late Night With Seth Meyers

via YouTube.com

It's hard to believe it's been over five years since the final episode of Parks and Recreation aired.

For a start, 2017 has come and gone, and in a world without Gryzzl we continue to be deprived of transparent, holograph-projecting phones and tablets—though folding phones are kind of a thing finally. But now, the old crew is getting back together for a one-episode charity event to benefit Feeding America.

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FILM & TV

Aubrey Plaza's Best Talk Show Moments

No one makes a host uncomfortable quite like Aubrey Plaza.

Aubrey Plaza is an actress, comedian, and producer, and now, a late night phenomenon thanks to her odd anecdotes and supremely awkward reactions.

Promoting her new movie Child's Play, Aubrey Plaza is on the media circuit again, generously giving the people what they want. Plaza makes the most seasoned hosts fumble gloriously— you can't help but laugh. Her strange persona sparkles one-on-one and now, more than ever, she's simply the most fun.

Aubrey Plaza Meets Ellen

Aubrey Plaza Meets Ellen Show www.metatube.com

Aubrey Plaza had already been on various talk shows at this point in her career, but when she finally made it to daytime television, she became a memorable interviewee. A clip of the interview was difficult to find, possibly because The Ellen DeGeneres Show tried to scrub it from the internet. Throughout their five stupendous minutes together, Ellen had no idea how to handle Plaza's off-beat delivery and humor— for once, Ellen was thrown off and hilariously perplexed.


Aubrey Plaza: F#*% You Old People, I'm Going To Live Forever!

No one can banter with Aubrey Plaza like Conan O'Brien. She's often a highlight of his program, but out of all the videos, this one stands out. Here, Aubrey recounts her legendary speech after winning the Young Hollywood Award, where she told old people to go f#*% themselves and declared that she was going to live forever. Wonderfully, she goes on to explain that as a child, she wanted to be an old woman because she believed old people could get away with anything.

Aubrey Plaza Flashed The Dirty Grandpa Producers at Her Audition

For once, the headline of a late night clip isn't clickbait. Seth Meyers, with his boyish charm, giddily laughed while Plaza narrated the unforgettable moment. Although Plaza had been asked to audition for Zac Efron's love interest, she pushed to play the role of Robert De Nero's smokin' boo. This interview has it all: butts, producers, dirty pictures, and of course, Aubrey Plaza.


Aubrey Plaza's Audition For Catwoman

Just the other day, Plaza graced Stephen Colbert's show to promote Child's Play. Jump forward to the 6:50-minute mark to experience their hysterical bit. After Colbert asks her about wanting to audition for Catwoman, she slowly transforms into the role as Colbert brings out more cat-like accessories. The clip ends with Plaza on Colbert's desk, pawing at his face. The host couldn't help but smile as he tried to move to commercial break.

The Parks and Recreation Cast Sings "Bye, Bye Li'l Sebastian"

Saving the best for last, Aubrey Plaza took bits to a whole other level on Late Night with Seth Meyers during the Parks and Recreation send-off— stealing the spotlight with another co-star. Please, just watch for yourself if you haven't seen the sensational clip already.

FILM

"Child's Play" Is a Waste of Chucky's Talent

The script feels like the first draft of a screenplay written by a bot—which is a problem when you already have one character that's actually a robot.

The Child's Play remake is a waste of everyone's talent—especially Chucky's.

The movie's clearly not aimed at adults, since most of the plot follows a 14-year-old and his witless friends. But it's not directly aimed at kids, because it has a seriously hard R rating for violence. The writing is atrocious, the directing is comically confused, and so the biggest question remains: Who is this movie for?

In the original 1988 Child's Play, we follow a murderous doll who'd been inhabited by a serial killer's spirit as he seeks to get his old body back, killing innocent people along the way. The kills are ridiculous, the one-liners are cringey, but overall the Chucky franchise is a lot of fun. They weren't cinematic masterpieces or beautifully written dramas—they were campy, brutal, classic 80's slasher films.

And then we have the 2019 remake.

Instead of charm and camp, we get…sarcasm? Awkward pauses? Millennial humor at its absolute worst. Some jokes did get a laugh, mostly thanks to the charm of Brian Tyree Henry. But even he can't salvage dialogue like, "White man dies in a watermelon patch. That's poetic." Is it, detective Morris? Is it, really? (I'm going to start a petition to stop letting white people write white people jokes.)

Let me back up a bit. This new film starts with a disgruntled factory worker disabling the security features on a high-tech "Buddi" smart doll before throwing himself out of a window. Pretty strong start. The hacked doll then ends up in the hands of Andy Barclay, who shares a name with the original character and absolutely nothing else. With the security features disabled, Chucky is able to curse, commit foul acts, and eventually establish an affinity for bloodshed.

The plot is contrived, but that's not the biggest issue. The biggest flaw is Andy. He is an incredibly boring character, doesn't have much in the way of a personality, and spends an awful lot of time crying. I mean, in the original, Andy cried a lot too, but he was six - not fourteen. I don't understand why he is our main character when you have incredible talents like Aubrey Plaza playing his single mother and Brian Tyree Henry playing the friendly neighborhood detective. This would be the chance to make some very warranted creative liberties. But the director seems completely unaware of how to leverage his actors' strengths, as Plaza is left for most of the movie to play a clueless but loving mother, and Henry to a charming but ultimately useless cop.

What's worse is that this new A.I. "evil robot" angle could have totally worked as a Chucky reboot concept. The doll learns to love killing by misunderstanding human emotion; then he just starts slashing up the town. His wifi-enabled A.I. could hack into everyone's connected devices to create some really inventive kills! Instead, we get someone trapped in a smart car driving in circles, only to have Chucky pop up and stab the victim. I think the new Chucky design really worked, too: The dead, vacant eyes and creepy smile were really suitable updates to the already iconic doll we all know and love.

Unfortunately, the script feels like the first draft of a screenplay written by a bot. You knew what every character was going to say before they said it, and no one acted like a human. Which is a problem when you already have one character that's actually a robot.

You might find yourself thinking: "Who the hell made this?" And you might not be surprised to find that it's… some random guy. Lars Klevberg has directed a total of one other movie, also released in 2019 (he has a pretty cool Vimeo page, though). The writer, Tyler Burton Smith, also has a limited portfolio of feature films—this one. He's written some video game stories before, and his twitter is funny. So we have two guys who have never done this before and none of the original creative team (notably Chucky creator Don Mancini, and the legendary Chucky himself, Brad Dourif) to help move the project along.

The movie ends up being a wasted opportunity to bring life back to a dusty franchise. The ideas are there, and the characters are serviceable, but the execution holds the film back from being memorable in any way. Say what you will about the old series, but it had style—something this film does not.

So… who is this movie for? Definitely not me. But if you're looking for something new to watch and don't care about the purity of the Chucky franchise, you could do worse than this. But not by much.

Rating: ⚡⚡/5

FILM

Now in Theaters: 5 New Movies for the Weekend of June 21

Revisit old friends and make some new ones in "Toy Story 4."

Movies Theater

Photo by Felix Mooneeram on Unsplash

Welcome back to "Now in Theaters: 5 New Movies for the Weekend."

This week, return to your childhood for the fourth time with Toy Story 4...or Child's Play.

WIDE RELEASE:

Toy Story 4

Toy Story 4 | Official Trailerwww.youtube.com

There's never been a Toy Story movie that's anything less than fantastic, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that Toy Story 4 is getting rave reviews, too. Toy Story has the incredible capacity to combine nostalgia with fresh, modern stories that continue growing up alongside the people who watched the first one in theaters as kids. This one looks fun and sad and hopeful, and I can't wait to watch it. This probably goes without saying, but Toy Story 4 is my obvious PICK OF THE WEEK.

Child's Play

CHILD'S PLAY Official Trailer #2 - (2019)www.youtube.com

Even amongst stupid movie slashers, Chucky has always been exceptionally goofy. Then again, that's part of the charm––watching a doll possessed by a serial killer ghost murder people. The new movie is attempting to reboot the franchise, and somehow, they're making the already dumb premise even dumber by making the Chucky doll some sort of media super controller. Why would anyone ever want to buy a spooky doll to control all their electronics? Who would that product be for? Movie victims, that's who. I'm kind of looking forward to it.

Anna

Anna Trailer #1 (2019) | Movieclips Trailerswww.youtube.com

It's John Wick BUT FOR LADIES. That's basically how this is being advertised. Assuming that's accurate, assuming this really is a female-lead action franchise with the unprecedented grace and beauty of John Wick, Anna could be amazing. Unfortunately, even the big action scene in the trailer seems to have some unnecessary quick cuts, and the lead's skewed face suggests the use of a stunt double. The review embargo (essentially a ban on reviews being published prior to a given date) worries me, too. My hopes aren't high, but I'd like to be wrong.

LIMITED RELEASE:

Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am

Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am - Official Trailerwww.youtube.com

Toni Morrison is considered one of the greatest living authors in the American literary canon and, perhaps more importantly, one of the most revolutionary black authors in literature. Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am is a documentary that places her and her works within the proper cultural context to fully appreciate her influence. It looks like a powerful work, and if you're a fan of Toni Morrison's writing, it's definitely worth checking out.

Wild Rose

WILD ROSE | OFFICIAL MAIN TRAILERwww.youtube.com

Singer/actress Jessie Buckley (Chernobyl) stars as Rose-Lynn Harlan, a Scottish convict and single mother who pursues her dream of becoming a country music star in Nashville. The trailer shows a surprising amount of heart, and reviews seem overwhelmingly positive. Overall, Wild Rose looks really good, so if you're in the mood for a serious, musical drama this weekend, this might be one to watch.