CULTURE

Deepfake George Lucas Is More Convincing Than Actual George Lucas

Baudrillard was right, and I have lost all sense of what's real.

George LucasLACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

Photo by Matt Baron/Shutterstock

A video purporting to show George Lucas camping out for the premiere of Rise of Skywalker was unleashed upon the world yesterday, and has thrown reality into turmoil.

We have been warned that Deepfakes have the potential to undermine democracy by casting doubt on the veracity of video evidence. If the alleged "pee tape" came out tomorrow, is there any doubt that Donald Trump and his defenders would shout fake? Even if the footage was clear and unmistakable, the existence of technology that can seamlessly meld a famous face onto a stranger's speech and mannerisms can throw any video into contention. But this new George Lucas video has done something much deeper, and much more troubling.

George Lucas Camps Out & Reacts to Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker - Deepfake Sagawww.youtube.com

Having watched George Lucas being sarcastic and self-aggrandizing in a bad George Lucas wig and a cheap fat suit, I don't know if I believe in the real George Lucas anymore. You can tell me that it's actually an actor and impersonator named Josh Robert Thompson, but when he rolls his eyes at Baby Yoda with perfect contempt, I know that he's the real deal. The essence of George Lucas lives in this video more purely than any footage of the man himself, and I am no longer convinced that George "it's like poetry" Lucas was ever anything other than a character embodied by Josh Robert Thompson.

He seems certain that American culture leaving him behind can only be a damning sign for society. Couple that with the sigh of a disaffected boomer billionaire—pining for Woodstock while he contemplates buying a movie theater to simplify his schedule—and you have enacted George Lucas' entire being since 2005. Skywalker Ranch has been officially relocated to the Uncanny Valley, and I'm now convinced that the original George Lucas, in all his pompous glory, was the first CGI creation of Industrial Light & Magic.

If you haven't watched the video yet, save yourself from the existential dread. It's too late for me. The map has subsumed the territory. All that remains is the simulacrum, and I am left to wonder, if George Lucas is nothing more than this basic character study in a beard and glasses, who actually created Star Wars? I do not have the answer, but If I had to guess, I'd say it's probably Hatsune Miku.

MUSIC

Baby Yoda Is Emo, and We Love That

Thanks to the Twitter account @emo_yoda, our favorite galactic infant now comes with your favorite sad tunes.

Photo by: Maksym Tymchyk / Unsplash

By now, we've already discussed in detail why internet celebrity (and my ideal offspring) Baby Yoda is so great, to a degree that he should probably run for president.

A lot of us haven't even watched a single episode of The Mandalorian, the Disney+ Star Wars spinoff that gave Baby Yoda a platform to steal our hearts, but that doesn't mean we can't participate in enjoying memes of the robed green creature. Naturally, many such memes have centered around music, whether little Yoda is bumping "Get Low" from the cockpit of his spaceship or proudly holding Charli XCX's Pop 2 mixtape.

This week, a Twitter account by the username @emo_yoda joined in on the fun for a specific lane of music lovers. In the wake of viral Instagram accounts like "Chandler Holding Ur Fav Album" and "Drake Loves Ur Fav Album," where different album covers are edited into the hands of either Chandler from Friends or Drake from Drake and Josh, @emo_yoda is where your favorite emo, pop-punk, and indie records are all beheld by the baby himself.

It all started a few days ago when Baby Yoda started listening to Modern Baseball's Holy Ghost. While he certainly enjoys the classics—the header photo is Baby Yoda superimposed over the cover photo for American Football's 1999 debut—he enjoys many newer records, as well, like Joyce Manor's Never Hungover Again, Snail Mail's Lush, and PUP's Morbid Stuff. The latter band responded, saying, "Just noticing your profile photo, which is totally f**king unhinged." The photo is unhinged, indeed: a shot of Pope Francis lifting a chalice, except the Pope's face is edited over with PUP frontman Stefan Babcock and the chalice is—you guessed it—Baby Yoda. Imagining Baby Yoda would headbang to PUP or cry to American Football is a true delight, and we're thankful for all iterations of the meme to keep him alive in his adorable glory forever.

FILM

Why "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker" Is Breaking All the Ticket Pre-Sale Records

Unpacking the phenomenon of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Recently, the final trailer for the final movie in the final trilogy of the mainline Star Wars franchise dropped, and fans are taking out their wallets en masse.

Per Atom Tickets, pre-sale movie tickets for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker have been flying off virtual shelves faster than a womp rat in an X-Wing, or some other Star Wars reference. First hour sales broke the previous record holder, Avengers: Endgame's sale numbers by 45 percent. So what's all the fuss about?

To be honest, as a die-hard Star Wars fan, I was a bit disappointed by the trailer. I watched the entire thing wondering when the porgs would show up, but there were none. Believe me, I checked three times, and I can sadly confirm that there are zero porgs in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (at least if the trailer is to be believed).

No doubt, other hardcore fans will be devastated when they discover the lack of porgs for themselves. Us lifelong Starheads (that's what I call everyone in my Star Wars group chat) who have been watching since Star Wars: The Last Jedi understand that porgs––the cute little alien bird things that I bought a life-size plush of––are the lifeblood of the long-running franchise.

Sure, this new movie has C-3PO, a big lightsaber battle, and the hairy monster guy who screams a lot, but where are the porgs? I'm betting that most of the people clamoring to buy tickets right now are filthy casuals who don't know the first thing about Star Wars, because if they did, they'd be holding off until we have some sort of official statement on why porgs have been cut from this film. #NoPorgsNoTicket