This week's Vanderpump Rules kicked off with Stassi Schroeder holding down the fort in LA while the rest of the gang were partying it up in Miami.

However, much to her dismay, they were all due to arrive back in town, just as Shroeder gave her pal and only remaining #TeamStassi member, Kristina, a ride to SUR.

As Popdust previously reported, Stassi has been majorly pissed at Katie Maloney for going to Florida with the rest of the group. Stassi thought it was a betrayal for her to hang out with them, while Katie saw it as a good step for improving the relationship with her boyfriend.

On their way to SUR, Kristina told Stassi she understood why she was mad, but didn’t think that Katie had done anything wrong. Was she seriously, actually disagreeing with Stassi? Did she want to die a slow and painful death?

Meanwhile, inside the shit show that is SUR, Lisa Vanderpump was chatting with Jax Taylor and Katie. Katie told Lisa about how Stassi still wouldn’t speak to her. Queen V advised Katie to stand her ground, because she did nothing wrong. Oh, and Jax admitted he would give his left nut to be back with Stassi

Peter Madrigal had his sights set on the new girl, Vail. They sat out back and talked while on break. Peter flirted with her no end and Vail did it right back at him. They discussed what went down in Miami, and Vail denied having hooked up with Jax—but even a deaf, dumb and blind person could confirm that it happened. Good thing everyone at SUR doesn’t mind sloppy seconds—cause Peter was going in for the kill.

Kristen Doute, the certified lunatic, was hanging out with her boyfriend and Scheana Marie. Scheana discussed the stress of organizing her wedding seating chart. Oh my God, can anyone say #FirstWorldProblems?!!

Jax decided to dump his latest girlfriend, so naturally, he was now trying to get his other ex-girlfriend, Carmen, to be his date to Scheana’s wedding. Scheana asked Kristen about her conversation with Tom Sandoval in Miami and Kristen deviously smiled like the bat shit crazy bitch that she is. James, her pre-pubescent boyfriend, was annoyed that Kristen just refuses to shut the fuck up about Tom. And to be honest, I would be too.

Jax met up with Carmen, because, let’s be honest, basically he was looking for some ass. Sorry, just an assumption. Anywho, he basically begged her to come to the wedding with him. She looked at him like he had 17 heads, yet wanted to bang him at the same time. He told her he was sorry for the way things ended between them and for breaking up with her at a pizza shop.

Freakin’ classic. This dude is a catch, ladies.

Kristen and her friend, Rachael, went for a hike. Of course, she did nothing but talk about Tom. For some odd reason, she was borderline obsessed with this random Miami chick that was claiming to have banged Tom a few months back. This random chick was supposedly planning to come to Los Angeles to confront Tom. Kristen seemed as excited as a little kid at Christmas.

Why you ask? Well, if the rumor was true, she was hoping Ariana would break up with Tom and they would be able to get back together. Seems totally logical and level-headed—and not psychotic at all—right?

Peter finally found the balls to ask Vail out. It obviously wasn’t too clear though because she thought it was a coffee date between friends kinda deal. The two met around 5pm. She was ready to order tea, while he was ready to slug a bottle of wine. Their “date” was quite possibly the most awkward thing I’ve ever witnessed. Peter creepily stared at her the entire time. She thought about telling him she was a lesbian. Sorry, Peter, I think you’re gonna have to take the L on this one.

Leaving the best drama till last—Stassi and Katie finally met up to discuss the Miami situation. Stassi basically felt that Katie betrayed her by going behind her back and hanging out with the crew. Katie tried to explain that she simply went to make things better between her and boyfriend, Tom Schwartz.

Katie said that she felt like she had been a loyal friend to Stassi through everything. Stassi acted like a little bitch who thinks the entire world revolves around her feelings. Katie stood her ground though, as she should. She basically told Stassi to go fuck herself and enjoy having no friends.

Kudos to you, Katie!

Next week, the random whack job Miami chick shows up at SUR—This show is a train wreck—a sad, yet SO AMAZING train wreck.

Check out Popdust's gallery of Scheana's Miami Bachelorette party photos—and tune in to Bravo every Monday at 9pm to catch all new episodes of Vanderpump Rules

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This week on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the ladies of the 90210 took the saying “wined and dined” a little too literally. There were make-ups, break-ups, tears, tantrums, and wine throwing.

Money can’t buy you class, folks.

Lisa Vanderpump finally agreed to sit down with Brandi Glanville. There is no denying how awkward it has been between the two of them all season. Brandi was kissing Queen V’s ass like a pathetic peasant because she finally realized how badly she had fucked up. Lisa, on the other hand, was SO over their friendship. However, she decided to meet for lunch to clear some things up.

Long story short, they both apologized.

Brandi admitted she felt like a scumbag for having spread rumors that Queen V lived “deep in the Valley”…..oh, the horror! Lisa, in turn, apologized for bringing Scheana Marie around. In case you were blissfully unaware—Scheana is the former-mistress of Eddie Cibrian, Brandi’s douchebag ex-husband. Brandi graciously accepted and said she’s ready to have fun with Lisa again—Lisa, however, looked like she would rather play in oncoming traffic.

Meanwhile, Yolanda Foster was busy making another one of her children America’s Next Top Model—all while still dealing with the aftermath of Bella’s DUI. In order to hold her accountable for her actions, Yolanda decided to make Bella pay her own legal fees. I support that 100%. She’s in college making more money than I’ve ever seen. She also took away Bella’s phone and social media privileges. Any parent of a teenager knows the deal—take away their cell phone and suddenly they need to enter a psych ward.

Lisa Rinna, Eileen Davidson, Yolanda, and Brandi met for dinner. They were having what appeared to be a great time, until it became apparent that Brandi forgot to take her crazy meds again. A self-proclaimed soap opera super fan, Brandi, begged Eileen to act out a scene from Days of Our Lives. Eileen said no several times. So, Brandi decided to toss a glass of wine on her.

I think we can all collectively agree that she is a fucking lunatic. On what planet does she live? Eileen handled it rather gracefully. I, on the other hand, would have drowned that crazy bitch in the Pacific Ocean with a smile on my face. All the women looked shocked, while Brandi sat there and giggled. This lady is cray cray to the CRAY.

Kyle Richards was preparing for her daughter Alexia to leave for college. So, it only made sense for her to teach her how to do the laundry. Cause, ya know, Alexia’s only friggin' 18-years old, so of COURSE she doesn’t know how to wash her own clothes. Kyle cried as she told the teen that if she doesn’t like school she can always leave. Alexia looked at her like she had 11 spinning heads.

The next night, Yolanda and “my love” AKA hubby, David Foster, hosted a fab dinner party. I wish I was friends with Yolanda—she could make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich look chic. Anywho, all the women were invited. Even wine tossin’ Glanville.

Upon her arrival, Brandi pulled Eileen aside to apologize. It was a half-ass apology at most though—she handed Eileen some necklace as a gift and said she got caught up in the moment. Eileen accepted the apology.....probably because she knows Brandi is truly off her mother fucking rocker.

Yolanda played the piano and it was time for dinner. The gang was seated around a table that included Babyface. Lisa Vanderpump got confused and called him “Papaface." Yolanda gave a speech thanking “my love”, as well as congratulating Lisa on her restaurant and Eileen on her Emmy. Brandi was chatting with Babyface’s wife, Nikki, and asked to see her engagement ring. Brandi informed her that it is too small. She needs a muzzle.

After dinner, they all gathered around the piano while David and Babyface sang for them. Lisa Rinna pulled Eileen aside to discuss Brandi. Lisa R thinks Brandi is batshit crazy—Eileen thinks Brandi is just needy and craving attention.

Hmmmm, ya fucking think?

Ending on a truly heartwarming note, Babyface asked the ladies to pick a random subject for him to sing about. Brandi, being the class act she is, suggested “finger banging”.... So.....a perfectly civilized evening at the Fosters was drawn to a close with Babyface singing a tune about finger banging your wife.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesdays at 9pm on Bravo.