FILM

Stop Putting Jared Leto in Movies

Morbius is going to suck.

There's a big problem with the trailer for Morbius, Sony's upcoming Marvel outing that is definitely not part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe even though it has Michael Keaton reprising his role as Vulture (please let us keep our license, Disney!).

See if you can spot it.

MORBIUS - Teaser Trailer www.youtube.com

If you answered, "Sampling Beethoven's 'Für Elise' to line up with blue-tinted action shots is the absolute lowest effort, brain-dead attempt to signify 'gothic vampire movie' in the entire history of movie trailers," you're correct, but that's still not the biggest problem with Morbius. No, the biggest problem is that Morbius is played by Jared Leto.

It is perhaps the most puzzling cinema-related quandary of the modern age, a baffling question with no logical answer: Why does Jared Leto keep getting work? What do audiences see in him, and if the answer is "nothing, he sucks," as it should be, then for what nefarious purpose do casting directors keep putting him in movies?

Jared Leto is like some college douchebro's idea of an Actor with a capital "A." He's the kind of guy for whom "method acting" is synonymous with "sexually harassing your co-workers," or perhaps "making up a story about sexually harassing your co-workers but then denying it later after people believe you," and then crying when nobody wants to work with you anymore. And before anyone tries to argue that Jared Leto's douchebaggery serves a greater artistic purpose, please keep in mind that he's also a pretty sh*tty actor.

Jared Leto Joker Warner Bros.

The Joker is one of the Award-baitiest roles ever created, a character drawn broadly enough that every actor who portrays him can bring their own unique flavor to the performance. Every other person who has played the character in film––Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger, Joaquin Phoenix––has been critically lauded and at least been nominated for a Golden Globe or an Oscar. Of course, Jared Leto got an award nomination, too, for his take on the Joker as an adult edgelord who spends all his money at Hot Topic and gets silly words tattooed on his forehead. Fortunately, Leto's nomination (which he really should have won) was for a Razzie.

Jared Leto isn't even bankable. Nobody wants to see a movie because Jared Leto is in it. At best, they see a movie in spite of Jared Leto. At worst, Jared Leto's presence in a supporting role tanks an otherwise great movie like Blade Runner 2049, because the awful marketing team focused on his bit role (for which he pretended to be half-blind and forced an underpaid assistant to walk him onto set like a big baby).

There has never been a movie concept less appealing than "Jared Leto pretends to be a battle vampire." Frankly, a worse movie idea couldn't exist, unless it also starred Jared Leto.

Make no mistake, Morbius is going to fail. Morbius already isn't a particularly bankable Marvel villain, but couple him with Jared Leto's anti-star power and you have a recipe for disaster. And yet, for some reason, Jared Leto will continue to get work. Every year, there will be a new movie wherein Jared Leto appears in a role nobody wants to see him in, brags about whatever dumb "method acting" he did to inconvenience the people around him, and then complains when it fails.

Then again, the world doesn't function on logic. There are people who say very racist things and then get very upset when someone calls them racist. There are people who work minimum wage jobs and still vote for Donald Trump. And, presumably, there are good, moral people who still watch Jared Leto movies.

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