CULTURE

What Do Christopher Meloni and Peloton Want From Us?

How does Peloton choose its men?

Christopher Meloni Working Out For Peloton

Apparently it’s #NationalNudeDay. The best way to celebrate? With … Peloton?!?

Everyone’s favorite exercise bike brand has done it again: gone viral. While their first viral video broke the internet unintentionally, in its aftermath, they’ve since capitalized on the hilarity of it and become master marketers.

Don’t recall the OG viral Peloton commercial? The premise was simple: give your loved one a Peloton, aka “The Gift That Gives Back.” In it, a husband gifts his wife a Peloton, and she tries it out for size. But for some reason, the internet interpreted her facial expression as a cry for help.

So, the “Peloton Wife” went viral. So viral that Ryan Reynolds made a parody ad for his own company featuring — you guessed it — the same actress from the original commercial. Brilliant!

And so a new era of Peloton was born. A self-aware, semi-absurdist era that I’m totally into … even if I don’t always understand it. Sure, the bikes are of excellent quality. Yes, the instructors are iconic. And, obviously, they got a serious popularity boost during the pandemic — and it was deserved. But nothing makes me want a Peloton more than their latest series of ads that expertly blend hilarity and hotness.

Enter: the sensational Maximum EffortPeloton commercial featuring Christopher Meloni — known for his role in Law & Order: SVU and his self-proclaimed “big cakes.” (This is a real thing he said. I swear. It’s on Elon Musk’s Twitter forever.)

Such a great App.youtu.be

This strange new ad is already living in my mind rent-free. Sure, Sexy Stabler content never fails to get the internet riled up (see: the pictures that prompted the “big cakes” tweet). But I have to wonder what went on in that casting room.

I imagine the Peloton board — cycling on Peloton, all wearing suits, because in my head that’s how they conduct business — dreaming up this concept and putting it into action as no one other corpo entity could.

I’ve barely recovered from their Mr. Big commercial. At least that was timed to the And Just Like That release date. This? No thoughts. Simply Chris Meloni naked for Peloton.

I just want to know how they find these men. And what they want from us — Peloton, please! Explain yourselves! Perhaps their next venture will be a dating app. I’d swipe right.