TV

Why Phyllis Vance Is a Straight Savage on "The Office"

Phyllis Vance is the coldest mofo in Scranton.

Cast photo of THE OFFICE

Pretty much everyone who has Netflix watches The Office.

The US version of The Office is known for its savage moments, from paper salesman/romantic lead Jim Halpert's (John Krasinski) constant pranks on beet farmer/bear expert/"assistant to the regional manager" Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson) to temp-turned-CEO Ryan Howard's (B.J. Novak) biting one-liners. But while plenty of the characters have their share of savage moments, it's always the quiet, reserved ones that surprise us the most.

Enter Phyllis Vance (Phyllis Smith, originally a casting director for the show), the sweet Mother Goose-esque saleswoman who also happens to be The Office's ultimate savage.

Phyllis starts off as a complete pushover, frequently under the control of shrewish, bossy Angela who heads the party planning committee. In the beginning, she never raises her voice and usually keeps to herself. But as the series progresses, we start to see more of Phyllis' personality, along with hints at some juicy secrets: She has sex with her husband in the bathroom of an Italian restaurant during a Valentine's Day double-date with Pam and Jim. She had a baby who she gave up for adoption in high school. And, more shockingly, she might, possibly, be into bestiality. Matronly Phyllis Vance isn't as innocent as she seems.

Phyllis has some great passive aggressive lines throughout the show, but the best moments are the ones proving that no one messes with Phyllis Vance. For instance, when Pam joins the Michael Scott Paper Company, before Dundler Mifflin buys them out, and then returns as a saleswoman after taking Phyllis' clients, Phyllis confronts her directly. When Pam is in the kitchen complimenting Phyllis on her outfit (they're wearing the same one), Phyllis retorts with, "I wished I had more time to talk to my clients. Isn't that what you told a bunch of my clients when you were stealing them from me?" When Pam tries to defend herself, Phyllis whips out this iconic comeback: "Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout." Pam was shook.

This isn't the first time that Phyllis lays down the law. In another memorable scene, Phyllis interrupts Pam and Jim's lunch date soon after they start publicly dating. Phyllis enters the rec room, double-checking that they weren't getting "handsy" underneath the table (Phyllis is very scandalous). She then tells Pam, "It's great that you're dating. But when a new client calls, you just have to randomly assign them to a salesperson. You can't base who gets new clients on who you're sleeping with that week." It's an especially savage burn considering Phyllis has always been supportive of Jim and Pam. Then again, this is the same Phyllis Vance who takes all of Pam's wedding ideas from her prior relationship with Roy and uses them for her own wedding with Bob. Later, when Pam and Jim actually get married, Phyllis deliberately ignores Pam's humble request for cash/financial donations, instead opting to give her a homemade birdhouse that no one wants.

Phyllis and Bob might even be considered the resident "power couple" of The Office. Bob is definitely Phyllis's muscle, and she uses him as a threat when things aren't going her way. When Michael tries to upstage Phyllis' Santa role at the Christmas Party, Bob shows up ready to throw down. Phyllis even reveals that she deliberately wears low cut shirts to get attention from other men at local bars so Bob can beat them up.

But, hands down, the most savage thing Phyllis does is blackmail Angela and indirectly cause Michael Scott to quit his job. Now, Angela isn't exactly an angel either and gets pretty upset when Michael replaces her as head of the party planning committee with Phyllis. Michael asks Phyllis to step in and plan Toby Flenderson's going away party. Naturally, Angela destroys all her vendor contacts so Phyllis has to plan the whole party from scratch. When Phyllis catches Angela in the act with Dwight, she decides to blackmail her as revenge, threatening to out their secret tryst if Angela doesn't do as she says.

This predominantly plays out in the Christmas episode where Phyllis orders Angela to wear an ugly hair net, forcefully shoves all of her Christian decorations in her desk drawer since they're not "in theme" with her Morrocan Christmas party, and spends the whole day assigning Angela "grunt work" like moving the Christmas tree. Finally having had enough of Phyllis's shenanigans, Angela stands her ground and tells Phyllis that she's tired of being her maid. So Phyllis makes good on her threat, shouting that Angela is having an affair with Dwight to the entire office and ultimately ruining Angela's engagement to Andy. After the hubbub, Michael appoints Jim and Dwight as temporary heads of the party planning committee. They later forget to plan a party for Kelly's birthday, and Phyllis is the one who lets them know that's the reason Kelly is upset. This implies that she purposely let Kelly's birthday be sabotaged out of spite, even though she could have reminded Jim and Dwight beforehand.

But this isn't the only time she gets revenge on the party planning committee over her dismissal. When the new VP of Sales Charles Miner starts working at Dunder Mifflin and notices Michael, Pam, Jim, and Dwight spending time in the conference room, he asks Phyllis what they're doing in there. In classic snitch fashion, Phyllis tells Charles that they're the party planning committee and that they spend hours planning parties. It's a brutal thing to do, since up to this point it's clear that Michael feels threatened by Charles. Phyllis' "confession" leads to Charles disbanding the committee, prompting Michael to quit his job and start the Michael Scott Paper Company. It's an awful way to thank your boss after he gives you a six-week paid vacation for your honeymoon trip (which Phyllis proudly manipulated Michael into doing by allowing him to be a "part" of her official wedding party).

All in all, Phyllis Vance proves to be a smug mean girl underneath her "grandmotherly" exterior. She might knit, enjoy rainy days, and read 50 Shades of Grey, but she will shut it down if need be. Not to mention, just like tightly wound Angela, Phyllis is a little freak. She's all about public PDA, being proud of her "jugs," ordering exotic cakes, and letting everyone know that she has a gym at home and it's the bedroom. We see you, Phyllis Vance.