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Culture Feature
This Haunts Me: Pearl the Mermaid Baby and All the Horrific Dolls of Etsy
Is every ugly doll on Etsy full of drugs?
04.21.2020
You may have read the saga of Pearl the baby mermaid when Elizabeth Faidley recounted the events on Facebook in December of 2019.
Though the story takes place from between 2015 and 2016, Faidley is in the habit of recounting the bizarre events involved each year as Christmas approaches, and her latest retelling brought Pearl to the world's attention and seared her image into my brain.
<p>As the story goes, Faidley's daughter, Ellie, had a specific request for Christmas that year. She wanted a mermaid baby. Knowing that mermaids are sentient creatures that humans can't ethically own or properly care for (and also mythical), Faidley assumed that what her daughter actually wanted was a doll that combined the best aspects of a baby with the best aspects of a mermaid. Unfortunately, that hybrid turned out to be surprisingly difficult to come by.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-632"></div>
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</p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-813"><center><script async="" src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
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<!-- End Ezoic - under_second_paragraph - under_second_paragraph --><p></p><p>After searching far and wide (though clearly not far or wide enough, because there are definitely some options out there that aren't hideous...) Faidley found Pearl, a very expensive custom baby mermaid doll on Etsy. Was it worth several hundred dollars? If it will make her daughter happy, why not? </p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-633"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent1 - mid_content --></p><p>Elizabeth made the purchase and didn't realize until Pearl arrived that what had appeared to be a veil in the images posted online were actually the strange, mottled "scales" painted all over Pearl's face. Pearl had stringy green hair, pearl earrings, a sort of shimmering pillow for a tail, and a sour expression on her face.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-634"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent11 - mid_content --></p><div class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="cbbe2d521b7ffc4a07fc170d128ce9ab"><div class="fb-video" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.faidley.7/videos/10102013365481285/" data-allowfullscreen="true"></div></div><p>In short, Pearl was ugly, and despite Faidley's hopes that her daughter's innocent love would see past the doll's imperfections, Ellie's instinctual response was, "Eugh!" and to back away slowly, saying, "It's not what I expected..."</p><p>The mystery of Pearl was manifold. Why paint her face so she looks almost diseased? Why adorn her head with that wispy, seaweed hair? And who—besides a confused mother making a mistake—was the intended customer for such an expensive and ugly doll? That answer only became clear months later, after Faidley had sent Pearl to a "doll hospital," in the hopes that medical professionals could assist with Pearl's terminal case of Zactly disease. </p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-635"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent2 - long_content --></p><p>As it turned out, Pearl was stuffed with drugs. There was presumably some coded indication in that Etsy post that this mermaid doll had a very good reason for being so expensive, and it was extra ugly to avoid someone like Elizabeth Faidley participating an unwitting drug deal... Whoops.</p><p>After the feds looked into the whole family and determined that Faidley was telling the truth, she was able to return to her life with no harm done and an amusing story about Pearl the mermaid drug mule. But after reading the account, I was not so fortunate. I could not get the image of Pearl—or the concept of a doll so ugly it could only exist to transport drugs—out of my head. </p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-636"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent22 - long_content --></p><p></p><center><script async="" src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><!-- Popdust Mobile Banner 320x100 --><ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:inline-block;width:320px;height:100px" data-ad-client="ca-pub-4301469008561137" data-ad-slot="6952751205"></ins><script>
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</script></center><p></p><p>Then, last night, I was searching for "dwarf rabbits" to figure out if I could get offended somehow, when Google did me one better and served up a thumbnail that left me shaken to my core. It was a sight too unholy for mortal eyes. A vision of such pure and cruel insanity that I was left scarred in a way I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It was the weird bunny baby I put in the lead image to this article.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-637"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent3 - longer_content --></p><p>I clicked the link as if compelled by my curiosity or by dark forces beyond my awareness, and I saw the image in full size. It looked like a shrunken Bugs Bunny strung out on Lady O in a victorian drug den. It was listed for over $1300. Surely I had stumbled onto another "doll" being used to smuggle contraband. </p><p>No one would pay good money for such a horror. I found myself descending deeper into the rabbit hole, in a daze, clicking through related listings and uncovering a menagerie of grotesque infancy marketed as "custom fantasy reborns," and advertising their ability to drink and pee. A clown, a leprechaun, a dragon, a pig. Were they all merely vessels for mind-altering substances?</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-638"> </div>
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<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzE0ODA1MC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMjIxOTQxM30.Tk5TRoeIBwzv-WA4tOy8goh9b3hyVvDQZFq-YosyYP4/img.jpg?width=980" id="16871" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="765d67214dac3c76453636c5431c60dc" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="Fantasy baby dolls">
</p><p>I was aware of the concept of "reborn" dolls that are expensive, handmade, "realistic," and almost always ugly. But would fans of that niche really stray so far into this realm of monstrous creatures? Then I noticed the reviews—dozens of strangers praising the creators for their craftsmanship and seeming to suggest that some of the creatures pictured were custom-made to their specifications. I closed my browser.<br></p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-639"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent4 - longest_content --></p><h2></h2><p>Am I now to believe that these "dolls," these nightmares made manifest, are the work of dedicated artisans giving their customers exactly what they want? That they are meant to be "cute"? No! I refuse. Pearl is the answer. I must maintain the belief that all these dolls are full of drugs—the reviews just part of the elaborate ruse to cover up the workings of a massive drug syndicate. I cling to my faith that they are stuffed with psychoactive pills and powders as I cling to my last thread of sanity. The alternative is too much to bear.</p>
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Music Features
The Many Faces of Drake
On his 34th birthday, we pay tribute to the Canadian Chameleon.
10.24.2020
Aubrey Drake Graham was born on October 24, 1986.
He found fame at a young age as one of the stars of the hit Canadian teen drama Degrassi. After his tenure playing Jimmy Brooks, he would transition from the screen to the booth, pursuing a full-time career as a musician.
Drake released a few mixtapes that were received well by fans and blogs, but it was the mixtape "So Far Gone" in February 2009 that would change his life and the course of music forever.
Since then, Drake would continue to shatter Billboard records, helping establish a sound that has since become the standard in Hip-Hop and has even transcended the genre itself. The keys to Drake's success are his talent, relentless work ethic, and his versatility as an artist.
<p>Drake's genre-bending has seen him assume different identities both on and off wax. Here's a look at some of our favorite personas.</p><p><!-- Ezoic - under_second_paragraph - under_second_paragraph -->
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<h2></h2><h2></h2><p>A decade-plus later since <em>So Far Gone</em>, Drake is still the topic of discussion in Hip-Hop, whether he's being revered for his eclectic trendsetting talent or being jeered for acquiring genres like Thanos collecting infinity stones. Call it cultural appropriation or appreciation, but after he debuted 34 years ago...Nothing Was The Same. Happy Birthday, Drake! </p>
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Down South Drake
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU2OTAyMy9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMTIyODgyOX0.LZCHeZQqHR8U09pSQjDIayp9CJaJdoG1e0vrT0-OhPM/img.jpg?width=980" id="16616" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8b62ebc22fc85ccc0cb5d5b8fa2ea231" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="drake" /><p>This version of Drake is associated with his early rise. Drake's father, Dennis Graham, is a Memphis-born musician, and Drake's summer visits there were the catalyst to his love for southern rap. Drake also cites his mentor and longtime collaborator, Lil Wayne, as one of his biggest influences.</p><p>Wayne, a New Orleans native, is one of the pioneers of Southern rap and arguably one of the greatest rappers of all time, inspiring a generation before crossing paths with Drake. Drake paid homage to New Orleans bounce with the songs "In My Feelings" and "Nice For What." </p><p>Drake still takes a trip down South now and then, though this time he plays the mentor to a newer crop of Southern rappers like Lil Baby and BlocBoy JB.</p>Emo Drake
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU2MTg1MS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxMjU0MTgwM30.CT2RBR2qfeN3QfPjyMVmHrvhzUrSgMU1VNNl-2avgzQ/img.jpg?width=980" id="c69c8" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="c612e7e86f80a95b207f8657e8514b4a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="drake" /><p>Though ghostwriting rumors have called his credibility as a rapper into question, Drake's singing ability was a breath of fresh air in Hip-Hop. Rap artists before him have flirted with a melodic delivery, but Drake has the range to be able to sing full-on ballads. Songs like "Find Your Love" and "Marvin's Room" showcase Drake's vulnerability.</p><p>Tales of unrequited love and toxic relationships are familiar subjects that have helped Drake endear himself to the "fairer" sex. Drake has embraced this role so much that it's reflected in the title of <a href="https://hiphopdx.com/news/id.58526/title.drake-ramps-up-album-promo-with-certified-lover-boy-trucks-in-toronto" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">his forthcoming album, <em>Certified Lover Boy.</em></a></p>Trap Drake
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU2MTg1My9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMDU0MjU4MH0.6uj63Pb5XzMGEHryBivi1vf0XBHA4dxtYbnDT5u8DFQ/img.jpg?width=980" id="6510b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8a5a8d8c0f2932250a9b1b188990a47c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="drake" /><p>Walking the line between bravado and paranoia, Trap Drake remains aware of various entities plotting his demise while welcoming them to try and take his crown. His 2015 mixtape, <em>If You're Reading This It's Too Late,</em> embodies the energy of a coked-up Tony Montana shooting it out with Sosa's gunmen.</p> <p>Drake's mean streak was on full display in <a href="https://genius.com/a/a-timeline-of-drake-meek-mill-s-beef" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">his battle with Meek Mill</a> that same year. Many felt Drake was too timid to engage in lyrical warfare because of his nice-guy persona. But when the time called for it, Drake was battle-ready, and Meek Mill became the butt of many jokes in the process. </p>Caribbean Drake
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU2MTg3OS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwNDUzODU5MH0.wN6yLZJqtz4NQCZufHgnVBTJwZ35IvuUGPL2tEhuKY4/img.jpg?width=980" id="bf941" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8533842e5e8aed157ee8ac7163ba6c6d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p>The Caribbean/AfroBeats sound is prominent in today's pop music, and Drake is one of the artists responsible for the sound making its way into Hip-Hop. His 2016 offering, <em>Views, </em>and his 2017 follow-up, <em>More Life,</em> saw him use Caribbean patois associated with the island locals.</p><p>Accusations of Drake's cultural appropriation of said Caribbean culture soon started to circulate. Toronto is known for its robust Caribbean population, but some felt Drake was cashing in on a trend more than representing one of his hometown's demographics. He's worked with Wizkid and signed Jamaican artist Popcaan to his OVO imprint, though so at least he has two heavy hitters that can vouch for his authenticity. </p><p><center><script async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><!-- Popdust Mobile Banner 320x100 --><ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:inline-block;width:320px;height:100px" data-ad-client="ca-pub-4301469008561137" data-ad-slot="6952751205"></ins><script> (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); </script></center></p>Drill Drake
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU2MTg4Mi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2NjEyNTAyOX0.W8zCSXOG7wwN34deGPMMAVPwOUv1ErTJfa1f1fbd7-U/img.jpg?width=980" id="4683e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="c76fcb8cbcf03ab8cc597935bd133d2a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="drake" /><p>When you're an international megastar like Drake, collaborating with acts from around the world is par for the course. This side of Drake takes us across the pond to the UK's drill scene. Though it originated in Chicago, drill music has a massive presence in the UK Hip-Hop scene.</p> <p>Much like his island vibe, Drake adopts the London accent and slang on songs like "War" and "Only You Freestyle" featuring Headie One. To his credit, Drake doesn't seem out of sorts when he's carrying on like a would-be roadman. Drake's interest in the UK scene has extended beyond music and into the TV/Film world. He acts as executive producer on the popular British Street series <em>Top Boy. </em></p>Sporty Drake
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU2MTkwNi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MzIxMDg4MX0.ZhfiQy89kh238Er5vbFl_65kxAf9vF8BAVKq-8RRfqA/img.jpg?width=980" id="8ce4e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="485e83e3038ae1ba509b172fc7a1eded" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p>This facet of Drake's personality doesn't revolve around music. Not only is he one of the biggest celebrities on the planet; he's also an avid sports fan. Drake is the global ambassador for his NBA home team, the Toronto Raptors. When his schedule permits it, he's courtside at every game and even got to see the Raptors win an NBA Championship for the first time in franchise history in 2019.</p><p>When he's not rooting for the Raptors, Drake is rubbing shoulders with some of the NBA's elite. His friendships with LeBron James, Kevin Durant, and Steph Curry are public knowledge. He also pals around with athletes from other sports, which led to social media creating the narrative of "The Drake Curse," a superstition that implies Drake causes athletes to lose whenever he becomes one of their fans.</p>
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