Culture News

"Pokemon Unite": Why Pokemon Fans Will Never Get Their Dream Game

Sorry, the Pokemon game you want most is a pipe dream.

Hope, disappointment, complaining, and farming for shinies: Thus goes the life cycle of the hardcore Pokemon fan.

In a brief, 10-minute Pokemon Direct released on June 17th, 2020, The Pokemon Company revealed a slew of new titles including a puzzle game called Pokemon Cafe Mix, a teeth-brushing app called Pokemon Smile, and, most excitingly, a sequel to Pokemon Snap.

UK: Pokémon Presents!youtu.be

New Pokemon Snap arrives over 20 years after the release of the beloved Pokemon picture-taking adventure on the Nintendo 64, and it will undoubtedly benefit from the past two decades of graphic enhancements more than any other Pokemon spin-off. But perhaps even more excitingly, The Pokemon Company announced that this Pokemon Direct wasn't even the big Pokemon Direct. Indeed, the big Pokemon Direct would arrive a week later on June 24th.

Of course, Pokemon fans promptly hyped themselves up into a frenzy. If the long-awaited sequel to Pokemon Snap was revealed at the end of a measly 10-minute Pokemon Direct, what wonders could the longer, better, cooler, real Pokemon Direct possibly hold in-store?

Perhaps Nintendo was set to finally announce the desperately anticipated Diamond andPearl remakes, returning trainers to the fourth-generation Sinnoh region enhanced by modern technology. Certainly, this new mainline entry in the Pokemon franchise would include every single Pokemon to-date (unlike lousy, evil Sword and Shield, which only has some of the Pokemon). And it would bring back Mega Evolutions andZ-Moves and get rid of stupid Gigantamax. Without a doubt, the June 24th Pokemon Direct was set to be the greatest Pokemon Direct in history.

And then it happened, the big reveal: Pokemon Unite, a free-to-play MOBA (multiplayer online battle arena) game releasing for Switch and mobile devices as a partnership between Nintendo and veteran MOBA-gaming Chinese conglomerate Tencent. Wow. Now this is big.

It's like League of Legends but with Pokemon! Hardcore Pokemon fans must be overjoyed.

Or wait. No. Scratch that. They're pretty mad.

Nearly all of the top posts on the r/Pokemon subreddit from the past week are essentially venting threads (although, to fair, a number of these came before the most recent Pokemon Direct because the number one secret to being a Pokemon fan is that you're always angry).

Grievances range from accusations that the Pokemon Company is completely disconnected from its fanbase's wants, to ongoing disappointment in the Sword and Shield: The Isle of Armor DLC, to legitimate worries about Nintendo's new partnership with Tencent (especially considering Tencent's ongoing history of shady dealings for the Chinese government, including monitoring foreign WeChat users in order to further censorship of their Chinese demographic. And yeah. It sucks that Nintendo is partnering with Tencent and, quite frankly, anyone who has a problem with Tencent's practices should avoid downloading any of their games or apps).

But mainly, Pokemon fans are just pissed that Pokemon Unite is not the Pokemon game that they wanted.

So here's the thing: If Pokemon fans want to stop their perpetual cycle of hope, disappointment, and outrage, they need to stop getting their hopes up in the first place.

This might be hard to read if you're a Pokemon fan, so please, brace yourself: The Pokemon Company is never going to make your dream Pokemon game.

It's just not going to happen. Oh, sure, they're going to reboot the Sinnoh region eventually. But guess what? They're also going to add some new gimmick feature that you hate, or maybe even double down on Gigantamax. Maybe even Mega-Gigantamax. Or maybe they will bring back Mega Evolutions and Z-Moves, but the Pokedex will still be watered down. Perhaps they'll even do an entire new mainline game that forces you to use a team consisting of only Pikachus and Charizards, and it's called Pokemon Pikachu and Charizard because they know how much you love Pikachu and Charizard.

Point being: Stop getting your hopes up, Pokemon fans. Pokemon is a huge franchise and, if it's not clear to you already, hardcore players are not their main demographic. Their goal is to pander to the widest audience possible, and your desire for the perfect competitive Pokemon game where you can make the most use of all those shinies you spent years breeding is a pipe dream. Your choices are to enjoy the newer games as they are, or speak with your wallet and not buy Pokemon games anymore.

Or, of course, you can always waste away on Pokemon Internet forums complaining alongside other adults that Nintendo isn't listening to you. Which you're right about. They're not.