"Krist the 30-Year-Old Boomer" is actually 37.
He tells us as much in his latest YouTube video, "I Am Done," in which he asserts that after "supporting the gaming companies for as long as I can remember," he is never going to buy another console game in his entire life.
To simply call Krist's video "cringe" would be a gross misrepresentation of what might be the most unintentionally hilarious self-own ever posted online. We open on Krist making his best pouty face in front of a few shelves of console games and Amiibos that he definitely thinks is a more impressive collection than it is. I don't want to hone in too much on Krist's appearance, but we're talking about a racist, unshaven, 37-year-old man who styles his receding hair into a tiny baby fauxhawk, so allow me this one punch: If you close your eyes and picture a grotesque stereotype of an unwashed gamer stinking of Dorito breath and Mountain Dew pits, whatever image you have in your head is significantly more attractive than Krist.
He stares into the camera with his beady eyes, takes a big sniff for some reason, and then goes off: "I've been talking about this for many years and the events over the past week have been the tipping point. I can no longer, in good conscience, support gaming companies who hate my kind and want to see me dead."
Yikes, buddy, gaming companies don't hate your kind at all. They love middle-aged, unmarried men who have no hobbies or outside interests other than giving them money. Oh, and his marital status isn't an assumption, either. Krist raises his left hand into the frame multiple times throughout the video, and the lack of a wedding band proves that all the women in his area have some degree of standards.
Of course, Krist isn't self-aware enough to recognize that "his kind" is negative gamer stereotype. No, Krist is talking about white people.
"I will never buy another gaming console ever again," he declares as his weak voice crescendoes into the angry, unintimidating squeak of a boy always picked last for recreational sports in gym class. "Why the F*CK would I give money to anti-white pieces of SH!T who want me DEAD?"
Krist goes on to whine for a whole minute about how angry he is that video game companies support Black Lives Matter, describing them as "cretins" without realizing the inherent irony to someone like him making a claim like that.
At one point, Krist, in what is presumably an attempt to show the video game companies how badly they f*cked up by losing his support, slightly shifts the camera towards his weak collection. "You can see I've supported this cancerous, SOY passive hobby my whole F*CKING life." He concludes by sticking up his stubby middle finger and telling the video game companies: "You guys can go F*CK yourselves."
I really don't want to give this loser views, but in all honesty, it's hard to understand just how cringey this whole thing is without actually watching it. Like, this guy Krist is the absolute bottom-tier of humanity, and the idea of him spending his whole life hoarding video games and then having that hobby ruined for him because gaming companies recognize black people's lives as valuable, is just so, so good.
Naturally, someone posted it on Reddit's r/cringe board, where it was highly upvoted because there really is nothing cringier than gross, racist gamers who think their dumb ideas matter. But "Krist the 30-Year-Old Boomer" is nothing if not dedicated to showing his ass and getting it beat, so he showed up in the comments to defend himself.
Posting under the username "LiberalDecay," perhaps in reference to the state of his own brain, Krist insisted that the guy who posted the video on Reddit was a "300 lb felon." It's impossible to say why he thought that would have any bearing on how cringey his video is, but in fairness, Krist is clearly not a man operating on anything close to human logic. Other commenters promptly gave him a spanking, with one quipping: "I honestly can't tell what's cringier: the video or the fact that you hopped in the comments to defend yourself and make OP look bad. You are overflowing with cringe right now."
The thread made it to r/subredditdrama, where it quickly hit the front page.
But even the most seasoned cringe connoisseurs could never have foreseen the sheer depth of cringe that Krist was capable of sinking to.
In one of the weirdest cases of self-implosion that has ever existed on the Internet, Krist then moved on to a different subreddit, r/ConsumeProduct, and posted his own video under the title "Really Cringe Video From A Soy Consoomer."
From there, Krist joined in on his own roast in the third person, sh*tting on himself in the comments, mainly focusing on his own weight which nobody else was even bringing up. A few commentaries realized it was him posting about himself in the third person, with one responding: "This is both sad and pathetic, imagine talking about yourself like this."
Indeed, it is deeply sad and pathetic to see a person self-implode so thoroughly online. It's enough to almost make you feel bad. Almost. But then you remember that no matter how hilarious or cringey "Krist the 30-Year-Old Boomer" may be, he really is a racist bigot who takes Black Lives Matter as a personal threat to the white race and deserves all the negative attention he gets.