Why Is No One Talking About Nickelback's Lyrics?
It seems Chad Kroeger and President Trump have a lot in common.
Nickelback, now experiencing an all time career low, got an unexpected boost in popularity this week thanks to Trump inaccurately using the band's "Photograph" meme, which samples the sextet's 2005 hit of the same name.
The band's label, Warner Music Group, stepped in and hit the president with a quick copyright infringement claim, but the band themselves didn't seem to realize the underlying joke behind it all: that they are similar to Trump in that they gained international fame despite being detested by almost everybody. "People in the meme-generating depths of the Web did not make Nickelback memes because they liked Nickelback. They made Nickelback memes because they did not like Nickelback, and because Nickelback was everywhere anyway," wrote The Washington Post. "Nickelback didn't exactly become famous for being famous. It became famous for being famous despite being horrible. That makes Trump the Nickelback president."
Politics aside, Trump's antics inspired Popdust to take a deep dive back into Nickelback's long and distasteful discography. It turns out, the band and our president have more in common than initially reported, such as a misogynistic view of women. Let's take a look back at some of the band's most distasteful lyrics, and revisit the question that plagues us all: Why was Nickelback ever a thing?
Figured You Out
"I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me"
Right out the gate we have "Figured You Out," off of 2003's The Long Road. The song describes multiple sexual encounters with a woman that "wasn't that hard to figure out." "Sometimes you get into a little fling and you think you know the person," said Chad Kroeger of the song's meaning, "and the next thing you know, you're dating a cokehead who's interwoven into some underground drug world with Hell's Angels and movie stars and models." Regardless of that awkward statement, the single's cover art, which depicts visibly nervous cheerleaders sitting in a row in a locker room, paints an incredibly predatory picture. Chade Kroeger was 29 at the time.
▲Animals
"I'm driving past your house while you were sneaking out
I got the car door opened up so you can jump in on the run
Your mom don't know that you were missing
She'd be pissed if she could see the parts of you
That I've been kissing"
Once again we find Kroeger exhibiting strong pedophiliac signs. On "Animals," off of 2005's All the Right Reasons, (which included "Photograph"), Kroeger sings about how he "just got his license back" and details all the crazy sex he's having in his car as he speeds down the highway. It's kinda weird that whoever Kroeger is sleeping with still lives with their mom, and that the mom has no idea where her daughter has gone. Kroeger was 31 years old at the time of "Animals" release.
▲Something In Your Mouth
"Dirty little lady with the pretty pink thong
Every sugar daddy hitting on her all night long"
"Your so much cooler
When you never pull it out
So much cuter
With something in your mouth"
One of Nickelback's crudest songs. "Something In Your Mouth" is the first track off of 2008's Dark Horse, and really just goes all out in its sexualization of women. "We were in Sweden and went over a bunch of material with our producer, Mutt Lange, and he wanted to get to a rocker," said Chad Kroeger of the song. "I've got this phrase: 'You look so much cuter with something in your mouth.' He thought that was perfect." It's worth noting that Kroeger did not clarify why that's just a "phrase" of his. This isn't the only misogynistic cut on Dark Horse, either.
▲S.E.X.
"No" is a dirty word ,
Never gonna say it first,
"No" is just a thought that never crosses my mind.
Maybe in the parking lot,
Better bring your friend along,
Better all together than just one at a time."
"S is for the simple need.
E is for the ecstasy.
X is just to mark the spot,
Cause that's the one you really want.
(Yes) sex is always the answer, it's never a question,"
Also on 2008s Dark Horse, the track describes how "No is a dirty word," and that "yes" is "always the answer." The album also included the song "Shakin Hands," which depicts a wealthy and high-class prostitute who "didn't make it this far just by shakin hands." "The whole damn song is majestically terrible," wrote a reviewer of "S.E.X."
Everything I Wanna Do
"She's got a dirty mouth, it tasted so clean with every taste of me.
You know that every single thing she does.
She does for me, because it's what I'm dreaming of.
(You and me, sitting in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-N-G)"
And the trend continues. "Everything I Wanna Do" is off of 2011's Here and Now, and once again depicts women as no more than a sex objects for Mr. Kroeger. "Here And Now might prove to be a step above the last effort, but likewise a step high enough to hang its creators on a barn rafter," wrote Consequence of Sound.
▲She Keeps Me Up
"Funky little monkey, she's a twisted trickster
Everybody wants to be the sister's mister
Coca-Cola roller-coaster"
Minus having the most uncomfortable music video in history, the lyrics make absolutely no sense, but even the parts that are coherent continue to portray women as an object of Kroeger's fantasies. "I love when she says, what's wrong with right here on the counter?" Well she definitely sounds like a funky little Coca Cola monkey trickster! Or whatever it is you called her.
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