Bullshit

We Zoomed in on the 2019 Oscar's Class Photo and YIKES

Hopefully the ceremony will go more smoothly than this group photo.

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On Monday, the Academy held their annual Oscar's luncheon, which is like a lunch, but with table cloths and Lady Gaga. Every year a group photo is taken of all of the year's nominees, and like any large group picture, this one features many closed eyes, half smiles, uncomfortable body positions, and thoughts of "that guy kind of looks like Bradley Cooper... so does that guy...do all white guys look like Bradley Cooper from far away?"

A few of our favorite things about the photo include:

Lady Gaga looking beatific in a white dress with devoutly crossed hands.

This man's singular, admirable decision to "do a goofy one" while everyone else was doing "a serious one."

This man actively having a heart attack or possibly saying the pledge of allegiance.

Bradley Cooper already seeing the shine of his Oscar off stage right.

A fascinating array of hats from editor Barry Alexander Brown, Spike Lee (he pulled it off), and Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige (he did not pull it off).

This woman on the end who went to TJ Maxx and said to her friend Carol, "How fun is this dress? Isn't this fun?"

This guy holding an imaginary basketball or maybe saying, "Wait are they taking it now?!"

These three men who had read about smiling in books, but never actually done it in real life until this failed attempt.

Viggo Mortenson unabashedly throwing up a peace sign like its 2007 and Donald Trump is just a reality TV show host.

Other notable moments from the lunch reportedly include Spike Lee clapping for every directing nominee except Green Book's Peter Farrelly, Glenn Close being incapable of anything but perfection, and Lady Gaga probably saying, "If there are 100 people in a room and 99 don't believe in you..."


Brooke Ivey Johnson is a Brooklyn based writer, playwright, and human woman. To read more of her work visit her blog or follow her twitter @BrookeIJohnson.


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