James Corden probably sleeps at CBS Studios, Rob Lowe is a "Mental Samurai," and Jennifer Carpenter was definitely on Dexter.
Bad TV is a career-killing disease that turns celebrity death rattles into song.
In 2019, the sickness will spread gangrenous reality TV and perpetuate the vicious myth that all small towns are full of human interest stories. The lineup of new shows coming to prime-time is one long fever dream featuring Rob Lowe's puns, sub-par government espionage, and Frankenstein's monster solving murders.
We all deserve apologies for these 7 upcoming shows:
1.The World's Best (CBS, February 3)
Mark Darnell at CBS says he's "coming for" NBC's crown with a talent competition to rival America's Got Talent. With James Corden somehow hosting this in addition to The Late Late Show, the hodgepodge panel of judges includes RuPaul, Faith Hill, and Drew Barrymore. Soon there will be a reality TV show pitting all the talent competition shows against each other, a Most Dangerous Game of network bigwigs in which Darnell hunts Simon Cowell.
2. The Enemy Within (NBC, February 25)
Ain't it Cool News
Remember how Jennifer Carpenter used to be on Dexter? Apparently, now she's starring as "former CIA agent Erica Wolfe, the most notorious traitor in modern history and most hated woman in America." Yes, her new character is let out of federal supermax prison to "help the FBI stop some of the most dangerous acts of espionage threatening the United States today," but mostly, Jennifer Carpenter once played a detective on Dexter.
3. Mental Samurai (Fox, February 26)
Who better to host a reality show professing to "push every aspect of human intelligence and mental agility" than Rob Lowe? Contestants will tackle an obstacle course that somehow "tests their knowledge, memory, numbers, and sequencing," as well as the precision and speed of their answers. Rob Lowe is their leader, because he and Ken Jennings are probably a lot alike.
4. The Village (NBC, March 12)
NBC continues its role as America's middle school guidance counselor with another show about people from disparate backgrounds sharing "hopeful, heartwarming, and challenging stories...that prove family is everything, even if it's the one you make with the people around you." This show's set in a "unique" apartment building in Brooklyn, where the compelling takeaway is that people as diverse as a single mother, a veteran, and a young immigrant can all get along.
5. Abby's (NBC, March 28)
The best bar in this probably quaint small town is Abby's (Natalie Morales) backyard, "the perfect gathering place for locals to find camaraderie and sanctuary." We want the best for Morales (BoJack Horseman, Parks and Recreation), so the trailer makes us sad.
6. In the Dark (CW, April 4)
Instead of the CW network developing storylines that slowly mature with its primarily teenage audience, they're combining coming-of-age elements with Law & Order: Criminal Intent and hoping it works itself out. In the Dark stars a "flawed and irreverent woman who just happens to be blind and is the only 'witness' to the murder of her drug-dealing friend, Tyson. When the police dismiss her story, she sets out with her dog, Pretzel, to find the killer while also managing her colorful dating life and the job she hates at Breaking Blind—the guide-dog school owned by her overprotective parents." The final incongruity: it's executive produced by Ben Stiller and Michael Showalter, so it's a funny but serious crime drama that's also about living with your parents.
7. Frankenstein (CBS, Unannounced)
TV Watch US
It's Mary Shelley's Frankenstein set in modern day San Francisco. Just kidding, it's Frankenstein retold as a detective story. Still worse, it's an abomination of both. Detective Frankenstein "is mysteriously brought back to life after being killed in the line of duty. But as he resumes his old life and he and his wife realize he isn't the same person he used to be, they zero in on the strange man behind his resurrection – Dr. Victor Frankenstein." It gets worse; it's not even unique. In 2015, Fox developed the short-lived drama The Frankenstein Code on the same premise. Jason Tracey and Rob Doherty of Elementary are the inventors of this nightmare.
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The rapper's magnum opus turned 10 years old over the weekend.
It's almost eerie how accurately Kanye West predicted his own fate when he uttered the words "I miss the old Kanye" on 2016's The Life of Pablo.
In my head, and likely in the memories of many others, there are two Kanyes: a then and a now. Both are cocky, self-important, certifiable jerks, but then, he at least still felt a marginal need to continue proving himself.
Now, he's so immeasurably detached from reality that it's a little hard to take anything he does or creates seriously—at this point, I find it difficult to even care. I don't want to explicitly cite a certain presidential election and its aftermath as the dividing line between the Kanye of then and now in my conscience, but...yeah, Kanye rubbing elbows with Trump was pretty much the last straw for me.
"PAIN" is the latest single from the singer.
If an impending second lockdown has you feeling lonelier than normal, King Princess has released an anthem just for you.
"PAIN" is the latest single from the pop starlet, who seems to be wrapping up a follow-up to her 2019 debut record, Cheap Queen. Co-written alongside Nick Long, Shawn Everett, and Tobias Jesso Jr., the piano-driven tune sees King Princess—real name Mikaela Straus—reckoning with an unfortunate pattern of heartbreak time and time again: "You and I just get along / I wonder how I'll f*ck it up," she sings, as if her misdeeds in the relationship are inevitable.
Gian Carano's political views are upsetting and ignorant, but they are not unusual.
Actor and former MMA fighter Gina Carano has once again come under fire for her social media presence.
Previously Carano — best known for playing former resistance soldier Cara Dune in the Disney+ Star Wars series The Mandalorian — had received pushback over the summer for liking and retweeting messages attacking the Black Lives Matter protesters as violent and irrational.
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Last night, World Wrestling Entertainment bid farewell to one of its most iconic superstars, The Undertaker.
Shawn Michaels<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMjQ1Mi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MzEzMDQyNX0.9Li9RIBQ8NizIkHW31b0lM1ENMieIGc31fyvkMQ1nWs/img.jpg?width=980" id="5f0ad" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2ad09e076e0b405e5e073e6b1fd7ea72" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p>The Undertaker and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0382582/" target="_blank">Shawn Michaels</a> were must-see rivals during the <a href="https://bleacherreport.com/articles/1276425-wwe-10-reasons-why-the-attitude-era-will-never-be-matched" target="_blank">WWF's Attitude Era</a>. Their most memorable matches during this time were at 1997's <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0297457/" target="_blank">Badd Blood: In Your House</a> in the first-ever <a href="https://www.wwe.com/shows/hellinacell" target="_blank">Hell In A Cell</a> match, and their <a href="https://www.wwe.com/playlist/undertaker-creepy-casket-matches" target="_blank">Casket Match</a> at the <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0234629/" target="_blank">1998 Royal Rumble</a>.</p><p>Their in-ring chemistry would stand the test of time. Almost ten years later, they would have classic matches at <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1279975/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Wrestlemania 25</a> in 2009 and <a href="https://bleacherreport.com/articles/343600-wrestlemania-26-match-card" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Wrestlemania 26</a> in 2010. Their 2010 encounter was a <a href="https://www.wwe.com/shows/wrestlemania/26/matchphotos/undertakervsmichaels#fid-13956490" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Streak vs. Career</a> match where if The Undertaker lost, it would be his first ever Wrestlemania loss. But if Michaels lost, he would have to retire from in-ring competition. We won't spoil the outcome, but let's just say it was a match to remember.</p>
Mankind<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMjQ1My9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2NzgxODMyNn0.z3JPcq4RwjSpfsYwim_AClYFzQ_3PVLRx4P0FGr_PHc/img.jpg?width=980" id="4dbf8" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2588e70e0578d7191f9699aedea9c612" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p><a href="https://www.wwe.com/superstars/mick-foley" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Mick Foley</a>'s willingness to put his body on the line elevated the level of danger in his matches with The Undertaker. His portrayal of the deranged Mankind made their rivalry both fun and uncomfortable to watch.</p><p>Taker and Mankind's violent feud would span a series of matches. They took part in the inaugural <a href="https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2545068-wwe-classic-of-the-week-the-undertaker-vs-mankind-from-summerslam-1996" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Boiler Room Brawl at SummerSlam 1996</a>, but their most memorable encounter took place at the <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0311996/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">1998 King Of The Ring</a> in a Hell In A Cell match, where Taker tossed Mick Foley from the top of the 20-foot cage, sending him crashing into an announcer's table at ringside.</p>
Kane<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMjQ1NS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MDk3MDY3OH0.YFtfTZnq0FXQ6TG4MUwwMwrcV895-F4BWjfmkLlPGNw/img.jpg?width=980" id="ae657" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="7de1ee2c8767dd21a57ade725bd441cb" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p><a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0414417/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Glenn Jacobs</a> played a plethora of characters before finding success in the WWF as The Undertaker's "brother" <a href="https://www.wwe.com/superstars/kane" target="_blank">Kane</a>. In 1997, Undertaker's manager, <a href="https://www.wwe.com/superstars/paul-bearer" target="_blank">Paul Bearer</a>, turned against him, revealing his brother—who he believed died in a fire during childhood—was alive and coming for revenge. Kane's arrival took place on the same night as Taker and Michael's Hell In A Cell Match at Badd Blood.</p><p>Their feud gave birth to WWF's first <a href="https://www.wwe.com/classics/the-fiery-history-of-the-inferno-match" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Inferno Match</a>, a match where the entire ring is surrounded by fire and the only way to win is to set your opponent on fire. When they weren't trying to murder each other, Kane and his older brother would join forces. Dubbed The Brothers of Destruction, they would wreak havoc on the WWF/E's tag team division.</p>
Stone Cold Steve Austin<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMjQ1Ny9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNzYzMTI3M30._D2EJV0715tkwauBIt4ho4bQKIplLLHzodIRlDWEZH0/img.jpg?width=980" id="f4e56" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="880434b020a5309255b1c35c9b4e4108" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p>WWF's Attitude Era also saw the rise of the most popular wrestler in wrestling history in <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0042524/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Stone Cold Steve Austin</a>. Austin's edgy character was more in line with the WWF's core demographic at the time. He would break in the mold of the traditional "good guy" in pro wrestling, a trope created by characters like <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001356/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Hulk Hogan</a>.</p><p>While Austin was becoming the company's top good guy, The Undertaker was in the middle of his run as the resident evildoer and head of the faction called The Ministry of Darkness. Their collision course consisted of Undertaker sacrificing Austin, trying to inject him with embalming fluid, and a <a href="https://www.thesportster.com/wrestling/every-first-blood-match-wwe-history-ranked/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">First Blood match at 1999's Fully Loaded pay-per-view.</a></p>
Triple H<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMjQ2Ny9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMTUzMDIxNX0.M7jyC5yzYqPChrMbstiuOaDUg7eipRLrTMfSlu7Or-Y/img.jpg?width=980" id="ecf28" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5a3df56db94e1297981a2324dad39fa4" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p>The Undertaker and <a href="https://www.wwe.com/superstars/triple-h" target="_blank">Triple H </a> had matches at the height of their popularity, but their best matches came towards the end of their runs as full-time wrestlers. Much like his best friend Shawn Michaels, Triple H had back to back classics with The Deadman at <a href="https://bleacherreport.com/articles/655207-wrestlemania-xxvii-recap" target="_blank">Wrestlemania 27</a> and <a href="https://bleacherreport.com/articles/1128143-wwe-wrestlemania-28-results-a-match-by-match-breakdown" target="_blank">28</a>. The match at 28 was known as the <a href="https://bleacherreport.com/articles/1129324-wrestlemania-28-truly-the-end-of-an-era" target="_blank">"End of An Era" match</a>. Shawn Michaels was the special guest referee, with the match stipulation being one Michaels and Taker made famous...Hell In A Cell. </p>
Brock Lesnar<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMjQ3MS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NDY2MDIyNn0.oZer7j-t-rOWoByCRvrmzyNMzGNBNwW6wBB5gAYkYAE/img.jpg?width=980" id="21ef8" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="aa62abf37f3f32c05dda7bf8e6270a04" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /><p>Much like The Undertaker, <a href="https://www.wwe.com/superstars/brock-lesnar" target="_blank">Brock Lesnar</a>'s presence and resume made him as feared as he is respected. He was WWE's fastest rising star before leaving the company back in 2004 due to his dislike of the rigorous travel schedule.</p><p>Upon his return in 2012, Lesnar would dominate the same way he did when he first debuted back in 2002. His path of destruction would lead to <a href="https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2019410-wwe-wrestlemania-30-results-winners-grades-recap-and-highlights" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Wrestlemania 30</a> in 2014, where Brock would be the 22nd opponent to face Undertaker at the premiere event. Many had Taker pegged as the winner because this was an event he dominated for 20 years. </p><p>But on this night, the world came to a standstill. Brock would accomplish the impossible and beat The Undertaker.</p><p>The shocking victory made Undertaker's record 21-1 at the Showcase of the Immortals.</p>
Life is pretty stressful right now, and if you're like much of the rest of the world, you've turned to the Internet for solace.
Some of us find escape in video calls and games, others in Netflix and music, others in endless scrolling. But if you're looking for a new, relaxing, visually stimulating way to ease your frayed nerves, perhaps consider watching videos of slime, soap-cutting, or any other form of "oddly satisfying" content.
The world of "oddly satisfying" content is large and undefinable. There are thousands of different types of content optimized to satisfy and relax you—from ASMR to binaural beats to zit-popping, the list goes on and on. The Reddit thread "oddly satisfying" is a hotbed of these types of posts, as are YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok.
For the purposes of this article, we'll stay away from auditory ASMR, instead focusing purely on visual content. This is your invitation into the safe, magical, fanciful world of colorful paint, billowing slime, and deliciously skilled workers doing their jobs well.