I Hate the Way Pete Buttigieg Kisses His Poor Husband

With the botched Iowa caucuses and the many inaccuracies of Trump's State of the Union address, it's safe to say this week in politics has been particularly chaotic.

Above all, there's one bit of candidate-related information that has me especially disturbed. It's a photo of Pete Buttigieg kissing his husband. I know there are a multitude of issues that should warrant my concern—like, why are we using untested mobile apps during one of the most important primary elections in American history?—but take a look for yourself, and maybe you'll understand why this graceless smooch has me losing sleep.

Don't get me wrong: It's absolutely incredible that, fewer than five years after gay marriage was legalized nationwide, a quite popular presidential candidate is able to freely and safely kiss his husband in public without risking major loss in support (except for this very stupid lady who wanted to rescind her vote for Buttigieg after learning he has a same-sex partner). What perturbs me about it is the sheer awkwardness of the kiss and the fact that their mouths don't even touch. Sure, maybe they were just trying to play it safe—you know, in regards to the notably homophobic administration we're living under—but it looks like they just straight-up missed. This is how the actors playing Maria and Captain Von Trapp in my middle school production of The Sound of Music stage kissed. This is how sexless 80-year-olds kiss. This is not how a 38-year-old who's been married for fewer than two years should kiss.

But then again, are we shocked? Buttigieg is notably inelegant, from his slightly uncomfortable paraphrasing of Lizzo to his absolutely unsightly method of eating a cinnamon bun. Not chicken wings. A cinnamon bun.

At least Mayor Pete seems happy in his marriage, however perplexing it may appear.