TV
Nothing But Respect for Our President
We'd like to take this time to formally announce our wholehearted endorsement of this candidate.
02.18.2019
Colleen Hayes / HBO
The field of candidates for 2020 just got a little bit larger.
In honor of President's Day, Selina Mayer addressed the nation to announce her bid to occupy the Oval Office once again. She also used the moment of national attention to release a new trailer for the 7th and final season of Veep, demonstrating some very presidential multi-tasking skills.
Veep (2019) Final Season | Official Trailer | HBO youtu.be
We'd like to take this moment to announce our endorsement of this candidate. In fact, we will now acknowledge this woman, and this woman alone, as the leader of these United States. (Editor's note: we are referring to either Selina Mayer or Julia Louis-Dreyfus.)
Rebecca Linde is a writer and cultural critic in NYC. She tweets about pop culture and television @rklinde.
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Sony
There's a big problem with the trailer for Morbius, Sony's upcoming Marvel outing that is definitely not part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe even though it has Michael Keaton reprising his role as Vulture (please let us keep our license, Disney!).
See if you can spot it.
MORBIUS - Teaser Trailer www.youtube.com
If you answered, "Sampling Beethoven's 'Für Elise' to line up with blue-tinted action shots is the absolute lowest effort, brain-dead attempt to signify 'gothic vampire movie' in the entire history of movie trailers," you're correct, but that's still not the biggest problem with Morbius. No, the biggest problem is that Morbius is played by Jared Leto.
<p>It is perhaps the most puzzling cinema-related quandary of the modern age, a baffling question with no logical answer: Why does Jared Leto keep getting work? What do audiences see in him, and if the answer is "nothing, he sucks," as it should be, then for what nefarious purpose do casting directors keep putting him in movies?</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-632"></div>
<!-- End Ezoic - undersecond12 - under_second_paragraph --></p><p>Jared Leto is like some college douchebro's <em>idea</em> of an Actor with a capital "A." He's the kind of guy for whom "method acting" is synonymous with "<a href="https://www.eonline.com/news/756288/jared-leto-sent-used-condoms-and-anal-beads-to-his-suicide-squad-co-stars-yup-you-read-that-right" target="_blank">sexually harassing your co-workers</a>," or perhaps "<a href="https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/09/174311/jared-leto-denies-sending-co-stars-used-condoms" target="_blank">making up a story about sexually harassing your co-workers but then denying it later after people believe you</a>," and then crying when <a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/youve-got-stop-jared-leto-fumed-new-joker-movie-1247699" target="_blank">nobody wants to work with you anymore</a>. And before anyone tries to argue that Jared Leto's douchebaggery serves a greater artistic purpose, please keep in mind that he's also a pretty sh*tty actor.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-633"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent1 - mid_content --></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjUwMjQ5MC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0ODA4Mjg5MH0.cz1A0QWds-ncv7HjG6PdhbcazNMwIjd-Sd_qACYiP1c/img.jpg?width=980" id="afd89" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1efc44753d9dc9cf96d53d4215267613" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="Jared Leto Joker">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Warner Bros.</small></p><p>The Joker is one of the Award-baitiest roles ever created, a character drawn broadly enough that every actor who portrays him can bring their own unique flavor to the performance. Every other person who has played the character in film––Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger, Joaquin Phoenix––has been critically lauded and <em>at least </em>been nominated for a Golden Globe or an Oscar. Of course, Jared Leto got an award nomination, too, for his take on the Joker as an adult edgelord who spends all his money at Hot Topic and gets silly words tattooed on his forehead. Fortunately, Leto's nomination (which he really should have won) <a href="https://consequenceofsound.net/2017/02/here-are-the-2017-razzie-award-winners/" target="_blank">was for a Razzie</a>.<br></p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-635"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent2 - long_content --></p><p>Jared Leto isn't even bankable. Nobody <em>wants </em>to see a movie because Jared Leto is in it. At best, they see a movie in spite of Jared Leto. At worst, Jared Leto's presence in a supporting role tanks an otherwise great movie like <em>Blade Runner 2049, </em>because the awful marketing team focused on his bit role (for which he <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/blade-runner-2049-jared-leto-blind-replicant-character-method-acting-a7940001.html" target="_blank">pretended to be half-blind</a> and forced an underpaid assistant to walk him onto set like a big baby).</p><p>There has never been a movie concept less appealing than "Jared Leto pretends to be a battle vampire." Frankly, a worse movie idea <em>couldn't </em>exist, unless it also starred Jared Leto.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-636"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent22 - long_content --></p><p>Make no mistake, <em>Morbius </em>is going to fail. Morbius already isn't a particularly bankable Marvel villain, but couple him with Jared Leto's anti-star power and you have a recipe for disaster. And yet, for some reason, Jared Leto will continue to get work. Every year, there will be a new movie wherein Jared Leto appears in a role nobody wants to see him in, brags about whatever dumb "method acting" he did to inconvenience the people around him, and then complains when it fails.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-637"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent3 - longer_content --></p><h2></h2><p>Then again, the world doesn't function on logic. There are people who say very racist things and then get very upset when someone calls them racist. There are people who work minimum wage jobs and still vote for Donald Trump. And, presumably, there are good, moral people who still watch Jared Leto movies.</p>
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The best thing about movies is that sometimes they feature cats.
Cats are great. They are furry purr-boxes that usually hate you. Whether they're the hero, the villain, or just kind of there, nothing beats watching a movie and seeing a cat on-screen. So we've compiled a list of the best REAL cats in movies. That means the movie needs to feature a REAL cat instead of an animated cat, because otherwise this would just be a list of cartoon cats. These cats are REAL, and they're works of art:
<h4>Don Corleone's Cat: <em>The Godfather</em></h4><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMDUxMDQ1NS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwNDA0Nzc3OH0.kAFffJosSXHrYnju549ucqeBlNsfVqvvHUqlUsK7WtI/img.jpg?width=980" id="03cf4" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6b71345d742d583b34e10613b9e31775" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="don corleone cat">
</p><p>
Don Corleone may be the head of the Italian mafia, but his cat gets to sit on his lap, being petted as he sheds fur all over the Don's fine suit. So when you think about, who's <em>really </em>the boss?<br>
</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-632"></div>
<!-- End Ezoic - undersecond12 - under_second_paragraph --></p><p>
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<p></p><h4>Blofeld's Cat: <em>From Russia with Love</em></h4><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMDUxMDUxNy9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NTgxMzIxM30.w9nt_XDb1zFt15tF2xjkR-QpoPPcmmsGk9Bb5h1yjys/img.jpg?width=980" id="417fe" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="70e94d4ded22a07f58c5507c32ffeec4" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="blofelds cat">
</p><p>
No evil plan for world domination can ever be adequately explained without the villain simultaneously petting a cat. Bond villain Blofeld's cat is perhaps the most influential REAL movie cat of all time due to his role in establishing this trope.<br>
</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-633"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent1 - mid_content --></p><h4>Mr. Bigglesworth: <em>Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me</em></h4><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMDUxMDUyNy9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MzcxMTk3OH0.yf5gcOdGE2KpUkgciFLhgFBx2FKdYTSoglJMxEBY9kQ/img.png?width=980" id="5887f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="bb0cb456c4381b0b6df2ad291cd86289" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="dr evil cat">
</p><p>
Mr. Bigglesworth, owned by parody-Bond villain Dr. Evil, may be a goof on Blofeld's cat, but that doesn't make him any less special. Mr. Bigglesworth is still a cute fuzzball, at least until all his hair falls out due to cryogenic freezing, at which he point he becomes a cute not-fuzzball.<br>
</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-634"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent11 - mid_content --></p><p></p><center><script async="" src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><!-- Popdust Mobile Banner 320x100 --><ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:inline-block;width:320px;height:100px" data-ad-client="ca-pub-4301469008561137" data-ad-slot="6952751205"></ins><script>
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</script></center><p></p><h4>Jonesy: <em>Alien</em></h4><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMDUxMDQ3NC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwOTE1MjY0Nn0.KTwcLenarVn8CdWVaNJNsrODAdWU4YottDymhxtFZCg/img.jpg?width=980" id="20b20" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9c3a05ca910124b5a75afc1419a0fd79" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
</p><p>
Launching a cat into deep space probably wasn't the best idea in the first place. But while the killer alien brutally murdered most of the <em>Nostramo </em>crew, it turns out that even Xenomorphs like cute, fuzzy cats. Jonesy makes it out A-okay. His human companions: not so much.<br>
</p><h4>Sassy: <em>Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey</em></h4><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMDUxMDQ3MC9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMDI3MDU5Mn0.JqH29GE97eQpqRy0emZCKyhlPq9Q_PvMFSiNTjeqGso/img.png?width=980" id="689db" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="a4502d7b2cd5cdb279c5c62e64ac365c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="sassy stuart little">
</p><p>
Sassy is a sarcastic cat who's best friends with two dogs. And you know what they say about a cat who hangs out with dogs, right? Well, let's just say you don't mess with that cat.
</p><p>
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<p></p><h4>Meowthra: <em>The LEGO Ninjago Movie</em></h4><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMDUxMDUxMi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwODAxNTU2NX0.D4NJDwGwsizvASx0fBoma8ztM5xa6R6Zbn32RsB1VGA/img.jpg?width=980" id="e016f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0a150bdd2a656866312fdc95e58d67ba" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="meowthra">
</p><p>
Meowthra, a play on the <em>Godzilla </em>monster Mothra, is a cataclysmic harbinger of destruction summoned to Ninjago City. More importantly, she's actually very sweet and nice and likes to be petted, and even her LEGO victims come to love her because she's a good girl.<br>
</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-635"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent2 - long_content --></p><h4>Keanu: <em>Keanu</em></h4><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMDUxMDUwOS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NTcxMDAyMn0.Vz-W-kZ7bszR3Ns1QiStYBaj6OIUsCpNED36EOCf87M/img.jpg?width=980" id="3cd77" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="aa38c776e0fad104df353f761950c642" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="Keanu cat">
</p><p>
Key and Peele's <em>Keanu</em> movie isn't particularly great, but the titular kitten around whom the movie revolves (he gets stolen by gangsters) is so gosh darn cute. He gets to wear a little durag and chain, which honestly makes the rest of the movie kind of worth it.<br>
</p><h4>Blanche: <em>Hausu</em></h4><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMDUxMDUwNS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwNDk5ODA4N30.b-cyRLc8gLcLhIHRVYCbhQIWmQEhF9euJhNSXtRBzjE/img.jpg?width=980" id="f1d63" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8b9cf1339381d2f632dab62a64bae9f1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="hausu cat">
</p><p>
Okay, Blanche is f**king terrifying and everywhere she goes, death follows. <em>BUT LOOK AT HOW FLUFFY SHE IS</em>. But also very, very terrifying. <em>BUT SHE'S SO FLUFFY. </em>But also portraits of her spew blood, so...<br>
</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-636"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent22 - long_content --></p><h4>Crookshanks: <em>Harry Potter</em></h4><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMDUxMDQ5NS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MjQzMDkzN30.C8J-Y7Fcp-LGCkfqH7j9ZtXfDfgBziB4ZAjGgyHhtgk/img.jpg?width=980" id="311c7" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="bb03c66aff4421e766d07f01f1a2c697" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="crookshanks">
</p><p>
Crookshanks is Hermione Granger's magical cat, and he's honestly kind of ugly. His face is smooshed, and he always looks very displeased, although that's true for most cats. But smoosh-face cats need love too, and luckily Crookshanks is so ugly he's cute.
</p><h4>Snowbell: <em>Stuart Little</em></h4><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMDUxMDQ2Ny9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNjQ0MTA3NX0.75FBsS5xRsZihsHVpT8QQjH0z0HnPElRySximeyosj4/img.jpg?width=980" id="44ff0" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="4023c25f93b233776cd210b6005ed58a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="snowbell stuart little">
</p><h2></h2><p>
At first, Snowbell seems like a real villain. Other cats make fun of him for falling below a mouse in the family hierarchy (and to be fair, Stuart Little is a bit smug). So Snowbell tries to have Stuart assassinated. Dang dog, that's one cold cat.<br>
</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-637"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent3 - longer_content --></p><p>Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.</p>
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