Sometimes, its better to say nothing at all.
As long as there have been celebrities, there have been celebrity apologies.
Whether its sexual assault or racial slurs, famous people seem to struggle to avoid the occasional, unforgivable, character-exposing, mistake. In fact, so many celebrities have done horrible things in the public eye, that celebrity apologies have become an art form of their own. Most recently, Camila Cabello apologized for racist posts from 2012 found on her Tumblr account.
exposing camila cabello‘s racist and downright disturbing tumblr reblogs: a thread— 🌉 || fan account (@🌉 || fan account)1576624143.0
Camila responded on Twitter, claiming to be sorry from the bottom of her heart.
I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. https://t.co/iZrnUawUAb— camila (@camila)1576699119.0
Whether its a screenshot of an iPhone note posted to Instagram or crocodile tears on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, public figures have a staggering ability to come up with new and cringe-worthy ways to apologize for their actions. In celebration of famous people's staggering inability to express genuine remorse, we've compiled a list of our favorite (worst) celebrity apologies of all time.
In 2017, Louis C.K. was exposed for, well, exposing himself. The comedian and actor reportedly exposed his genitals to and masturbated in front of multiple women, who came forward in a New York Times op-ed. He penned a response to the accusations, also published in the New York Times, in which he expressed regret for his actions, but also used the word "dick" an uncomfortable amount, saying, "These stories are true. At the time, I said to myself that what I did was O.K. because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first, which is also true. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn't a question." Most disturbing about this apology is that he at no time acknowledges the strange and perverted nature of wanting multiple female acquaintances and fans to look at his genitals. He also repeatedly brings up how "widely admired" he is. Just...what the hell.
So Sorry. www.youtube.com
Logan Paul, a popular Youtube personality with a middle school haircut, was known for his absurd pranks and constant vlogging. Now, he's known for filming a dead body in the "Suicide Forest" in Japan. The video, which he posted to his Youtube channel, showed a corpse hanging from a tree, and Paul laughing as he filmed. Obviously, this mind-boggling insensitivity earned the vlogger some pretty substantial backlash. He filmed a video to apologize, which earned over 53 million views, and while the apology itself seemed earnest enough, Paul had the audacity to monetize the video, literally profiting off the hurt he caused.
The rock-n-roll icon gifted the world such classics as "Love Gun" and "I Was Made For Lovin' You," forever cementing his place as one of the top rockers of all time. But he also cemented his place in this list by calling Prince's apparent suicide "pathetic." "I think Prince was heads, hands and feet about all the rest of them," Simmons continued. "I thought he left [Michael] Jackson in the dust. Prince was way beyond that. But how pathetic that he killed himself. Don't kid yourself, that's what he did. Slowly, I'll grant you … but that's what drugs and alcohol is: a slow death." The apology was almost worse than the offense, as he merely said he "didn't express himself well."
In 2001, Winona Ryder was infamously arrested for shoplifting more than $5500 worth of merchandise from a Beverly Hills store. The privilege and arrogance of this crime is one thing (she owned a 3 million dollar mansion at the time) a whole other thing was Winona's excuse for the crime: she was doing research for an upcoming role. While the actress did eventually apologize after being convicted of the crime, she never seemed to express real remorse.
Let Me Be Frank www.youtube.com
While there are some pretty reprehensible attempts at repentance on this list, Kevin Spacey blows them all out of the water. Rumors of the actors taste for young men and boys had swirled around Hollywood for years before he was finally accused by no less than 15 men and underaged boys of sexual misconduct. In response, he posted the above disturbing video, in which he embodied his House of Cards character, Frank Underwood, and seemed to speak both as the character and himself: "I told you my deepest, darkest secrets, I showed you exactly what people are capable of. I shocked you with my honesty, but mostly I challenged you and made you think. And you trusted me, even though you knew you shouldn't." The bizarre and chilling video has over 10 million views on Youtube, and makes Kevin Spacey our uncontested winner. What. The. F*ck.
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If you cling to outdated ideas, you are choosing to be left behind.
A relative recently reached out to express concern that I was sharing ageist sentiments on the Internet.
She didn't have to specify which content had bothered her. I knew she was talking about my attacks on "boomers."
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Please stop me.
Post Malone is the poet laureate of all beer-drunken hearts, and his astute observations on life, love, and intoxication deserve to be taken far too seriously.
As a freshly graduated English major who just moved to Brooklyn, I feel that it's my personal responsibility to share my philosophical musings with the world. Sadly, very few people read books anymore, so I've decided to apply my degree to something I love but that also may meet the masses on their terms: the exquisitely poetic lyrics of the one and only Post Malone.
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