Because Nicolas Cage needs a reason to live, and Tom Cruise didn't exchange his soul for an ageless face for nothing.
Sequels to bad movies are positive signs that Hollywood believes in recycling.
Still, occasionally there are sequels so unwanted that we're dying to see them. Whether a sequel takes place 30 years after the original or stars Nicolas Cage, some movies can't be any worse than our rock bottom expectations. So Tom Cruise might as well revive Top Gun's Maverick as a 58-year-old fighter pilot. We'll watch Jim Caviezel as the resurrected Jesus in the sequel to The Passion of the Christ. And, sure, why not look forward to The Meg 2 as "the greatest film in the history of cinema?" By 2030, 250,000 people will be annually dying from climate change anyway. Here's a list of terrible sequels being filmed as we speak.
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In the opening pages of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Earth is destroyed. Now if that doesn't scream 2020 so far, what does?
In Douglas Adams's 1979 novel, which premiered as a radio series on BBC Radio4 in 1978 (42 years ago—but more about the significance of that number later), Earth is suddenly blown up in order to make room for an intergalactic superhighway. Now, in a year that has—after only 3 months, people—given us a contentious, confusing democratic primary, the death of Kobe Bryant, new and worsening facts about our climate and habitat at large, appalling leadership, and of course the rapid spread of and global shutdowns by the coronavirus (COVID-19), it seems impossible to turn to any source for comfort.
Enter The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: a novel that starts with the global annihilation that we might be heading for and then follows the characters as they cope with new realities, with isolation and loss, an endless information source that brings with it endless anxiety, and an egomaniacal, arrogant, selfish, attention-craving president of the galaxy.
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It's time to study.
Now that you've flooded Instagram with photos of black squares, it's time to hunker down for some real activism.
If you're a white person, you're sitting on top of about four centuries of institutionalized racism. In the wake of George Floyd's murder by police and countless Black Lives Matter protests across the nation, it's time to show up—with your body, with your voice, and with your brain.