Because the American people deserve to know
With less than a month left until the Iowa caucuses officially kick off primary season, it seems like we've spent the last decade slowly whittling away at an endless list of candidates.
Many voters have already seen their favorite contenders drop out of the race. Others have yet to figure out which person on a crowded debate stage best represents their interests. Obviously there are a number of axes on which you can compare the candidates, and countless articles that can help you navigate their differing economic policies, their stances on health care, or their various approaches to foreign policy. If those are the factors by which you judge a candidate, you should have no problem finding what you need to make up your mind. People like me are not so lucky.
I have always been a single issue voter—consistently casting my ballot for the best dancer. In 2008 and 2012, I had an easy time of it. Barack Obama's blend of smooth and corny dance moves struck a perfect balance for my sensibilities, easily winning out over Mitt Romney's "Gangnam Style" convulsions, or John McCain's high-intensity robot. 2016 presented a more difficult choice. I nearly didn't vote at all, but ultimately decided that Hillary Clinton's stiff Whip and Nae Nae represented the lesser of two evils when considered against Donald Trump's apocalyptic rendition of "Hotline Bling."
Sadly, some 60 million voters didn't see what I did, and made the wrong call. I won't let that happen again. The American people deserve to see every candidate dance before they go to the polls. Until the DNC finally listens to wisdom and converts one of their debates to a dance off, I've compiled this list so that you can make an informed decision.
New Jersey Senator Cory Booker hasn't done much dancing lately, but we can look back at his record as Mayor of Newark to see where he stands on the issue of Salsa dancing. As in politics, Booker is competent, but not dazzling.
Does Mayor of South Bend, Pete Buttigieg, dance at all? His campaign has a now-infamous official dance to the song "High Hopes," but I've been unable to uncover any evidence of Pete participating. His youth and energy are vaguely suggestive of someone with dance moves, but as long as his actual record remains cloaked in shadows, many voters will be hesitant to support him. Until that time, the above simulation is the best we can do. What are you hiding, Mayor Pete?!
Is Michael Bloomberg actually running for president, or is he just trying to spoil everyone's fun? His dancing with Lady Gaga at 2011's New Year's Rockin' Eve suggests the latter.
Former Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick is not well known to most voters, but images of him sweetly dancing with his wife are a touching endorsement.
The only dance that Maryland's former congressional representative John Delaney knows is the iron dance of getting swole.
Michael Bennett is a defensive lineman in the NFL. As far as I can tell, the rumors that he's running for president are completely baseless, but based on his moves... maybe he should.
- Your guide to the 2020 Democratic presidential candidates — Quartz ›
- Elizabeth Warren Goes Full Elaine at Rally with an Awkward Dance ... ›
- Elizabeth Warren Dancing GIF - ElizabethWarren Dancing Flag ... ›
- Elizabeth Warren Dances into Election Day on 'Ellen' ›
- Elizabeth Warren's Dancing Puts Elaine From 'Seinfeld' To Shame ... ›
- Elizabeth Warren Dancing is a Mood - YouTube ›
- WATCH: Elizabeth Warren Goes Full Elaine at Rally With Dance ›
The hit musical will drop on Disney+ July 3rd.
Lin Manuel-Miranda's Hamilton has taken the theater world by storm since its 2015 Broadway premiere.
A hip-hop musical about America's founding fathers doesn't sound immediately appealing, but Manuel-Miranda's brilliant song writing and diverse casting not only captured the attention of audiences, but proved that major change is possible within an art form as encumbered by traditions as musical theater.
The white supremacist Trump fan is back in jail—again—a symbol of everything wrong with America's prison system.
"I am a white supremacist. The Aryan Nation will rule the world!"
If you think that sounds like the words of a man who is about to be deservedly choked out, you're partially right. But before 36-year-old Nicholas Arnold Schock got taken down by a group of brave bystanders in Nokomis Florida, he would do a lot more to deserve such aggressive treatment.
The viral video of the incident opens with a belligerent Schock, half-naked, shouting at the staff of Pop's Sunset Grille to "call Donald Trump, he's gonna come get me out of prison." It's not evident what sparked the confrontation—whether Schock was refusing to wear a mask in the popular open-air venue, or simply wanted to strip naked. Whatever the case, Schock was seemingly convinced that Donald Trump would have his back in the ordeal.